Clean communication

I know this will come as a shock to many of you, but I am often amazed by my daughter....

On Friday night at the Giants game Maggie put this on her talker. 

If you cannot read it it says "I wash with Dad." I heard it and said "What!?!?!" You want to wash with dad? Is he dirty? Are you?" She slammed her hand down to say NO! and changed the sentence a little bit to say " I want to wash with dad."

She was clearly trying to tell me something and I wasn't getting it. Finally it dawned on me. Maggie was using "wash" because it sounds like "watch" She wanted to watch the game with Dad. She wanted to sit next to Steve for awhile. I asked her if that was right and she signed yes. And if I'm not mistaken there was the 18 year old "DUH, MOM" implied in that yes. 


Steve and I immediately switched places. If she can go to all that trouble to convey what she wants, we are going to give it to her. 

Maggie has done that type of thing before before and it always take me a while to get what she means. I need to listen instead of read it, because all of her language and communication is done by sound. Though they mean very different things, "wash" and "watch" sound very similar.

She does not really have a communication problem at all, I just need to speak her language, just like every other mother of a teenage daughter.

My parents never LISTEN!

Many teenagers share this lament. My parents don't understand me! My parents never listen! For most these are catch phrases for growing up and becoming independent. In Maggie's case she means it quite literally.

We all feel guilty but we have enjoyed several weeks of unbelievably nice weather. The guilt comes because we know that we need rain and snow in the mountains to avoid a drought. Still, it's hard to complain about glorious blue skies in January. Tonight, finally, it's supposed to rain.

 Up until this week it was cold in the mornings but warmed up very nicely during the day. It would get up into the 60's and even hit 70 degrees one day last week, That changed on Sunday. We woke up to overcast skies and much colder temps. The 49ers played Saturday afternoon in 60 degree weather. Sunday was in the 40's. Quite a change. Still, we didn't realize how different it was until we were well into our walk and it wasn't getting any warmer.

It's one thing for Steve and I to deal with the cold. We can run around and stick our hands in our pockets etc. Maggie, however, is a sitting duck and can't do anything to make herself warmer.  We always seem to forget that until  it's too late. She was a trooper for a while. She pulled  the string on her sweatshirt as Steve ran through the park with her.

It was a little more sheltered in the area we call "the land that time forgot" and she had a good laugh with dad. 

 But as we continued on she had clearly had enough. She first used her talker to say, "Mom is cold."  I said, yes I am,, Maggie, but we are moving. She erased that because it was not conveying the message she wanted. We walked on. Then she said "Maggie is cold." We congratulated her on a good sentence and walked on some more. Finally when we were at least a mile from home, she just said this

If you can't see it it says "Dad, I am cold, go to home dad dad dad."

We finally got it through our thick skulls that she was uncomfortable and went home. She did not change that message on her dynavox until we were inside. Then she said it three or four more times just to scold us.

We deserved the scolding. Next time more layers and a shorter outing. And maybe we bring some listening skills.