Breakfast and Baseball filled Mothers Day

Hope everyone had a nice Mother's Day.  It is a bittersweet day for me. More sweet this year because I was busy from dawn til dusk.  We started the day hosting a breakfast for 14 at our house. My mom, two sisters, a brother, their spouses and available kids came over. It was Plan B. We were going to head up to the wine country for a picnic, but I backed out when I learned that Eddie was coming home for Mother's Day and my gift from him was tickets to the Giants games.

 I told my siblings I would host the breakfast, but they had to be gone by noon so we could go to the game and they were not allowed to put me in the position of throwing my mother out on the streets on Mothers Day.  That's just bad karma all the way around. They took care of me.

We really had fun on our adventure to the game. We took the train and ran into a few delays, so we didn't sit down until the bottom of the first. No problem. Plenty of baseball left.

When Steve and I go to the game, we watch intently, we clap, we cheer, we groan all at the right times. But we really blend in. We are average fans who don't stand out.

It's different with my boys. They are superfans who never blend in. Tim kept the entire section entertained (or annoyed, but mostly entertained) with his constant banter. He took aim at the opposing pitchers warming up in the bullpen and it was really quite hilarious. It's definitely rated PG; he does not swear or say anything mean, but he razzes them unmercifully at the top of his lungs.  Eddie joined in and we spent a couple of hours laughing pretty hard. When the relief pitchers gave the game away to the Giants, we had to give the boys credit for rattling them. Fans were giving them high fives them on the way out, so I guess/hope it was funny to others as well.

                  

We stopped for a beer after the game to let the crowds on the train die down. As we sat on the deck at the Hi Dive, we could hear the music inside. I swear every single song was on the Maggie Mix from 2012, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, Call me Maybe and more.  I finally commented on it, and each of the boys had already noticed.  Another of Maggie's songs would start and we would just look at each other with a wan smile. It was good, though. It was like a message that Maggie was right there with us. Oh man she would have really laughed at Tim and Eddie's antics.


Keeping so busy was great. I was a bit melancholy here and there during the day, but generally busy and laughing. By the time we got home I was too tired to care about anything and ate some Pizza and went to bed.

And if you are wondering, Tim's shirt declares I'm proud to be an Air Force Mom. That's his mother's day shirt. The people behind were deferentially asking me if I was an Air Force mom and I had to say no.  The deference disappeared rather quickly. 

Bubble Bubble Toil and Trouble

A week or so ago I was speaking to my son about how he is handling things following Maggie's passing. He lives in Southern California and I think feels even more alone because of the distance. He does have his girlfriend who is wonderfully supportive but they are both 400 miles away.  He said he is generally doing OK, ups and downs like all of us. He said the hardest thing is when someone "gets in his bubble" about it when they don't belong there.

I knew what he meant instantly. Of course I've heard that expression before, but it rang so fitting as a description of how I handle my own grief. There is a bubble around all of us. Without this bubble we might not be able to get through the day at all. We can throw ourselves into work or projects and maintain some semblance of normalcy because of this bubble. It protects us from the overwhelming grief that surrounds us and protects us from other well meaning people who want to penetrate it with advice or probing questions or even unwanted attention. When they manage to do so, it's very uncomfortable.

The thing is everybody has a different bubble. It comes in all shapes and sizes and includes or excludes as many people as necessary to get though the day. Different people are allowed in the bubble at different times. Sometimes it's hard to know whether or not you are part of someones bubble at any given time. That can be difficult for people, but  I assure you it's not as difficult as going through life with this bubble nor having the fragile bubble break.

For those of you who do not have a grief bubble around you, I will give you this piece of advice. Do not presume you are part of someones bubble. Always respect the bubble and ask gently for permission to enter. It will likely be granted just because you showed the respect. But if it isn't, don't take offense. It has nothing to do with you. Stay just outside letting one know you are there when they need you, but you will not intrude. That is a tremendous gift.

"Respect the bubble."

Somebody's Watching You

In yesterdays post I mentioned that Maggie snagged a bag of bagels while shopping at Safeway with Steve and his friend Chris the other day. Steve went back and paid for them, of course. When they arrived home, we talked about all the other things we have found in Maggie's chair over the years. There have been hairbrushes, spoons, hair clips by the dozens, toys and anything else that was in reach.The bagels were in plain sight on the tray; but generally she grabs things, can't really hold onto them and they slip down into the side of her lap.

The best many years ago when  we went to buy Eddie some new eye glasses. Thanks to the genes he inherited from me, Eddie has worn glasses since kindergarten. He would need a new pair every year or so and we would go pick them out and order them. When he was in about the third grade we went to try a new place on West Portal. I walked in with Eddie and Tim and had Maggie in her tiny stroller/wheelchair. The kids were probably 8, 6 and 2.  The woman was waiting on someone else and made it clear from the moment we walked in that she did not like kids.

At all.

And especially not boys.

I ignored her. The boys definitely had their moments of being rambunctious, but this particular day was not one of them. They were calm and well behaved. As we waited, Eddie started trying on different pairs of glasses and carefully returning the ones he didn't like. The woman looked up and snapped, "They really shouldn't touch those." I responded, well, we're here to get him new glasses, so he has to try them on. (I pretended not to notice that Tim was also trying them on.)  She went back to her customer and after about a minute looked up and said something else snotty. That was enough. If I'm going to plop down money for a product, I think someone should at least be nice to us. I said, "Clearly you do not want our business, we will go somewhere else." She started to retract, but it was too late. The four of us filed out of the store in a very dignified manner. Haughty might be the best word for it.

As we headed back to the car, the boys and I were laughing at what a grump she was. Even Eddie said, And we were being GOOD! she should see us when we're BAD. I opened the doors and the boys hopped in. Maggie was so little then that she sat in the car seat and we folded her wheelchair in the back. I opened Maggies' door, readied the car seat, undid all her straps, lifted her into the car and strapped her into the car seat. I turned to fold up the wheelchair and saw them.

A lovely set of eyeglass frames sitting on the seat.

I winced. While the grumpy lady was yelling at my perfectly behaved sons, my tiny disabled daughter was stealing her blind.   I picked them up and showed the boys and their eyes bulged in surprise. I though of our dignified and haughty exit and winced again, knowing we had to return these.  Being the chicken that I am, I had one of the boys do it. (I thought it was Tim, but he doesn't remember.) Either Eddie or Tim took the frames, ran the two doors up to the store where the grumpy lady was still waiting on her customer, laid the frames on the counter and said, "My sister took these. Sorry." And then ran back to the car. We laughed our heads off.

We decided to go glasses shopping another day and we all went for ice cream.

Maggie didn't get any ice cream*, but she had the total respect of her brothers, that's for sure.




*no reward for stealing, but she also happens to be deathly allergic to dairy and can't eat by mouth anyway, so not sure it would have been a reward.

Edit - I just realized I wrote this story already about a year ago. Oh well, it's worth a re-tell.
 

Weekend Whirlwind

This was a great weekend. the weather was perfect, both my boys were in town, we had a dinner on Saturday with my mom and my brother and sister in law and I didn't lose any exchange students.


My son Eddie and his girlfriend Grace arrived on Thursday evening about 6. We talked for a while and I told them I would introduce them to Vanya and Betty, our German exchange students, as soon as they returned from their walk. They were due back at 6:30. When they still had not arrived at 6:45 I was getting nervous. They had only been in SF for 24 hours and I let them wander around alone. Eddie was making fun of me for being worried. I tried to be cool, but by 7:00 it was pitch dark and they were no where to be found. I started looking around in the car. I wasn't worried about their safety, per se, but I feared they were lost. Eddie stayed home to let me know if they showed up. They did at 7:15. When I came home they were all apologies, but I knew it was as much (or more) on me than on them. We ate dinner and the girls turned in, still jet lagged from the trip. An hour later the second earthquake of the day jolted the house. I made the decision right then and them to buy them a go phone (pay as you go cell phone) to use while they were here. Grace and I bought in on Friday. For $25 I have the perfect solution to my anxiety. I gave them the phone Friday after school and now know I can reach them or visa versa whenever we need to.

Steve returned from his trip on Friday night to find only Maggie and I at home. The girls had gone to a high school football game with my neighbors and Eddie and Grace were out with friends. Maggie and I were holding down the fort watching chick flicks. Within a few minutes everyone else arrived and Steve was introduced to the girls and caught up with Eddie.

Maggie and I took the girls downtown on Saturday morning to meet up with one of the host students, who was going to spend the day shopping with them. I picked them up later in the afternoon, stopping in the middle of busy Market Street to retrieve them. I was  urging them to jump in the car before a) I got a ticket and b) the Occupy San Francisco people enveloped us. Vanya and Betty were fascinated by the protest because they said they don't have things like this in Germany. It was a good opportunity to explain both the academic - the importance of free speech is in this country  - and the practical - how you don't want to be stuck in traffic because of someone else exercising that right.

Maggie is thrilled having visitors. She is calling them by name via her dynavox. When they first heard her say, "Vanya and Betty, hello!" they were taken aback but delighted. That helped them "get" Maggie a little better. She doesn't always appear to be engaged, but she is listening and paying attention all the time. 

Maggie was even more thrilled to have BOTH brothers home at the same time. Tim came by on Saturday and Sunday morning and I was able to get a picture of all of them together. This is becoming an increasingly  rare occasion.

Five Finger Discount

One day many years ago I took all three kids to the optometrist to purchase some new glasses for Eddie, who was then about 8 years old. We had to wait for the customer in front of us to finish so Eddie and Tim killed time trying on various frames and modeling them for each other. Some were contenders, others were outlandish and entertaining.

I could tell the woman in the store was annoyed, but I ignored her. The boys weren't causing any trouble.They weren't loud or annoying and they putting everything back were they found it. But she was irked and as a mom you can just tell when someone is not a kid person. She finally snapped at me, "they shouldn't touch those." I said very sweetly, "really? Because we're here to get him glasses and he's going to have to try them on to see what he wants." She relented, but I could tell she was still miffed. When it was our turn she was quite curt and I finally asked her if there was a problem. She told me she does not like children touching her stuff. I said, "Then perhaps we better go somewhere else." I wasn't mad but I certainly wasn't going to give her any business. We left in a very dignified way.

In those days Maggie sat in a car seat. I took her out of her tiny wheelchair to load her back into the car and to my embarrassment I saw that she had a pair of frames in her seat. While the woman was eyeing those evil little boys, their baby sister was stealing frames. So much for our dignity. Always the coward, I sent Eddie back onto the store with the pilfered frames. He left them on the counter and said, sorry, I guess my sister grabbed these. The boys and I laughed about that all the way home. Maggie was too little to know what had happened, but she was very entertained by our amusement.

Maybe we shouldn't have laughed so hard. Maggie turned into a little thief. There's no malice of course. It's just fun to snag things. Over the years there have been other things, such as hairbrushes, keys,etc that little Miss Hot Hands grabs out of pockets or off of any place she can reach. She used to hang out on the floor and would routinely take everything out of my purse, once ripping a $20 bill cleanly in half. If something small is missing you will likely find it her wheelchair. She grabs something and then drops it along the side of her legs where it stays until someone moves her. She finds it very entertaining when we say, "Excuse me madam, can you explain how this got here?" Mr. David, an aide in her class, snapped this shot of her holding his wallet. 

Now she may be moving up to grand theft. The other day the nurse handed me a ring she found under the chair in Maggie's room and said, "Here, Sally I think you dropped your wedding ring."  It is not mine, but it is definitely somebody's wedding set. At first I figured it belonged to one of the other nurses and just put it aside to ask each as their shift came around. It didn't belong to Josephine, Fely, Etoy, Lucy or Joy. I have a house keeper that comes every few weeks and she brings a helper. Surely this belonged to one of them. Nope. I asked a few friends who had been over at the house. Nope. The school nurse asked at school. Nope. I showed it to Maggie and asked if it was hers and she just grinned. 

We have no idea how it got into her room or how long it had been there. Obviously it could have come from anywhere. There are a lot of people in an out of this house. But my suspicions are on Maggie, aka Baby Face Nelson, the sweet looking little girl in the wheelchair who is above suspicion.

Did she take it from somebody? I have no idea. How in the world could she get someones wedding ring without them knowing it. If it was in somebody's pocket or on a counter I could see it, but who leaves their wedding ring lying around? Who else was close enough to Maggie for this to happen? Why isn't anyone missing a ring? It is a mystery, but given Maggie's checkered past, I can't help but wonder. If you are missing your wedding rings, please let me know. 

But you better hurry, Maggie keeps asking about the pawn shop on her dynavox.

5 days and counting

Greeting cards have all been sent, the Christmas rush is through....

OK, not really, but I'm getting there. Most greeting cards have been sent except for the few addresses or zip codes that I need.  I have one gift left to buy and I generally know what that will be. Maggie and I will head out this morning. 95% of things are wrapped, mostly thanks to Steve.

I do  have two problems, though. One problem I cannot control and the other is something I just have to do but keep procrastinating to avoid it.

I cannot do anything about the weather, but I have a nagging concern that the boys wont's be able to make it home for Christmas. It's been storming for days and it's supposed to continue right through next weekend. The mountains have received something like 5 feet of new snow and the roads are terrible. Tim should  make it because he can just wait for a break in the weather and go, and then he will be here for a few weeks.  Eddie and Grace are coming only for a day or so because Grace has to work in Reno on the 23rd and the 26th. Then they are moving to Orange county on the 28th. A major storm could prevent the trip here. I know they can go to spend Christmas with Grace's family if need be, but I really hope they make it. I have to just let go and hope because it is completely out of my hands.

The procrastination involves the stacks of papers on the dining room table. I have whittled it down as far as possible and now have a pile that I really don't know what to do with. None fit into any categories I've created, but I can't seem to just toss them either. It's not like I can hide them anywhere, the house is full to overflowing with Christmas gifts, decorations and even extra furniture.

We borrowed the "chill out" chair for Maggie for the vacation. This chair is made entirely of foam with a deep cut out for the body, so Maggie doesn't fall out of it. (I don't leave her alone in the room, though) She can sit in something other than her wheelchair  for a break. Generally in the evening she wants to get out of her wheelchair and she ends up either laying on the floor or sitting with Steve because I really can't hold her for long anymore.

 Being on the floor often makes her cough uncontrollably so she hangs out with dad. This chair gives both of them a break and Maggie finds it very entertaining to just lounge like the teenager she is.

This chair is enormous, though and it is taking up the portion of our living room that is not overrun with wrapped gifts or Christmas decorations. When (and if) everyone arrives for Christmas, we will have to take the chill out chair downstairs.

OK, procrastination ends now. I will let Maggie help me sort the papers. THAT should take care of things.

Scattering the puzzle pieces

This is Eddie getting air during a race earlier this year. I believe it was taken by a professional or someone with a very good camera because capturing these guys is very hard on a point and shoot. 

Eddie is competing in the collegiate national mountain bike races this weekend. This is his fourth straight nationals and the last one because he is graduating in December and will no longer be in the “collegiate” category.  Like last year, the race is taking place at the Northstar Resort near Lake Tahoe.  We had plans to go, and rented the same condominium as last year. I had mixed feelings because it is so scary to watch these races, but it is my last chance and we had a blast last year. However, it is not to be; Steve is going without me and I am bummed out.

In order for the two of us to go away together over night, about 100 things have to fall into place for Maggie. It is like putting a jigsaw puzzle together. I started down my list ticking things off one by one. I have to arrange for extra nursing to cover the extra 8 hours a day that I generally do. This comes out of my pocket, but it is worth it occasionally. I also had to have some backup in place. My mom and sister agreed to pop in and visit with Maggie because she gets very confused and a bit mad when I am gone for too long. Last year when we did this Tim was home for the weekend and that’s how it was even possible at all.

I needed only one more piece of the puzzle to fall into place. If I could get Margie to take her old Saturday night shift then Lucy could fill in on Saturday and Sunday afternoons.  Denied. Not only was Margie not available on Saturday night, she could not work her regular Friday night shift either because she was going out of town with her family. That was a deal breaker, because Lucy would have been the backup. Now Lucy will work both Friday and Saturday night, but I do not have anyone to fill the extra shifts – so they are on me.

Getting a nurse to cover on the weekend is hard enough, but if I am not here, it has to be someone who is totally comfortable on his or her own. It cannot be someone new who is unfamiliar with all Maggie has needs and supplies. If I am not here to help and guide, a new person could not do it alone – and I would not be comfortable leaving.

Yes, Steve could stay and I could go, but he has more fun watching these scary races than I do.  They come tearing straight down the mountain at breakneck speeds jumping over rocks and trees on the way. I stand on the hillside with my eyes closed.  It is terrible when I constantly repeat to Eddie that one kid in a wheelchair is enough for me. He was hurt in a collision in last week’s double slalom event and considered pulling out of nationals because he is still recovering. But it’s nationals and it’s the last time; he registered and plans to give it a go this weekend.

Therefore, I wish Eddie well from the relative safety of home. I hope the race goes smoothly, that he does well, keeps all his teeth in his mouth and his bones attached to one another.  Maggie and I will await word from our scout on the front lines. 

Can you handle THIS?

 What a weekend. We had Eddie visiting for one night, we were invaded by a raccoon, we watched the Giants clinch the West, and we celebrated Steve’s birthday.  None of those things was the highlight for Maggie, though. Rather, a little home improvement project caught her fancy.  

After 20 years of plain wood in the kitchen, Steve put drawer pulls and handles on the kitchen drawers and cabinets. My friend Grace said it’s like putting on the perfect necklace with a dress. It just completes the look. In our case, there is an additional bonus. A certain teenager in this house thinks these handles are GREAT! The drawer pulls are at exactly the right height for the wheelchair.

Maggie could not get enough of these wondrous things yesterday morning when we were making Steve’s birthday cake. She got a hold of the drawers and had a great time opening and closing the drawers. She was tossing dishtowels around the kitchen with great abandon. Late in the afternoon her nurse brought me a key she found in Maggie’s chair. Oops. I tried to keep her out of that drawer but I was obviously unsuccessful.  

Maggie was enjoying herself tremendously when her brother Eddie came up behind her, leaned over and said in his deepest possible voice “Maggie, what do you think you are doing.”  She found that delightful.

Having her brother here, even if only for a couple of hours, was almost as good as having the new drawer pulls. Maggie comes to life even more when either of the boys come home. She will have to wait until Christmas to see Eddie again. We will have to work on getting Tim to come home and give her a brother fix. Forget raccoons and baseball and birthdays. She can show him the new handles.  

Welcome to the Dark Side

I took the Brisco to the dog park last week. It was very quiet there which was exactly what I needed after a couple of wild days. We played for a bit until he ditched me for some dogs and I wandered over to the benches. There was just one woman sitting there. I at one bench over and enjoyed the few minutes of peace.

We struck up a conversation after her dog came over to me. It was pleasant. I noticed she was using oxygen and had a very small tank  - like the size of a thermos around her neck. I asked how long that lasted and she said 8 hours! Wow! I told her Maggie's tank was 5x the size and only lasted 6.  Though she wasn't there, the conversation turned to Maggie and her medical needs.

It was very cordial and not prying or anything. She was generally interested. I doled out only what information I wanted to and didn't feel put upon to over share. She asked if I had any other children. I said, yes, I have two college age sons.

This is where the conversation took a strange turn. This sweet lady with the oxygen tank said, "It must have been very difficult for them because you probably neglected them."

(insert cartoon head shaking here) I'm sorry, what did you say?

Well you obviously were busy with your daughter and could not give your sons the attention they needed.

I paused for a moment, shocked. How did we get here? It was as though a dark cloud covered the sun.

I paused again. I thought of my boys who had a great childhood, filled with tons of family and friends. I thought of vacations together and their friends who joined us. I thought of walks in the park and dozens of visits to "the rolling place" where they could roll down the grass non-stop. I thought of Eddie on his bike as a little kid and Tim practicing baseball every day. I thought of my  boys who went to private schools, and who brought friends over here constantly. Boys who are kind and polite. Boys who are well liked and respected by their peers and mine. Boys who are both working and having fun.  I thought of the two of them now living together 200 miles from home as they attend college.

 I thought of their very well developed senses of humor and how they might answer her. I felt a smile coming on, but I kept it just to myself.

I paused once more and gave her a long look. Then I simply said, "They did all right."

Back to the Grind

It's a beautiful Monday here in San Francisco and a great day for a milestone birthday for my (much) older brother. Happy Birthday, Ed.

We had a fun weekend here. Both boys were home for the weekend. Tim was here all week for Spring Break, but Eddie just came home for the weekend. It was good to have everyone together. That happens less and less often. As you can see, Maggie is very happy when her boys are here 

They went back to school yesterday and it was back to the grind for Maggie. I believe 16 is the legal age to put a kid to work, right? Disability is no excuse. Check out this short video. It's just a peek into a few minutes of her day.  Maggie at Work

Sweet Sixteen

Maggie’s 16th birthday is on March 3. 16! That is hard for me to believe.


Birthdays for her are funny. They make me very happy and very sad. It makes me happy because we made it through another year. There were many years that I did not think she would survive. Today, though it is a lot of work to keep her this way, she is healthy and stable. It makes me sad because birthdays are a reminder of the day she was born and all the terror that came with it and the very very long road we have been on ever since.

The road one has to travel with a disabled child is different from the road with typical kids. They overlap or intersect at times, but generally it is a different path altogether.  This road is filled with amazing and lovely things that others never get to see, but it is full of rocks and potholes too. That’s ok; it’s just the way it is.

Birthdays are one of the places the two roads intersect. Everybody can relate to birthdays, but for parents like me, birthdays become a very public reminder of what will never be. She is 16. That is a milestone birthday. Kids have sweet 16 parties and get drivers licenses. Not Maggie.

And that’s ok because it’s just the way it is.

When Maggie was little the boys used to ask questions about what she would and would not be able to do when she got bigger. We just answered the questions as they arose. Not because we are such excellent parents with a developmental plan, but Rather, we did not really look forward very often and the questions from the boys allowed us to deal with the future from their perspective. I specifically recall Eddie’s concern that Maggie would never have to do chores. He offered to customize her wheelchair by attaching a broom to the bottom so she could sweep the floor

Once when Maggie was about two I stopped at a store on the way home. She was still in a car seat then. Generally, I would jump out of the car, get the stroller/wheelchair set up and then grab Maggie. For some reason that day, I grabbed Maggie first. Doing anything with her in my arms was impossible. She could not even hold her head up and it took both arms to secure her safely in your arms. I had Maggie in my arms and needed to put her down to open her stroller/wheelchair. I propped her up in the driver’s seat with one hand on her and the other hand opening the chair. As I fumbled with the equipment one handed, Tim, who was about 6 or 7 looked at Maggie in the driver’s seat and asked, “Mom, will Maggie ever be able to drive?”

Of course I knew the answer was no, but that was a loaded question. It was so far away and simply telling him so could be devastating. We tended to take things as they came and this was looking way way down the line. I looked at her in the driver’s seat and looked at him and, buying time, I said, well she is awfully short, don’t you think? He laughed and said, NO, I mean when she’s bigger

I just faced the music and said, “I don’t think so Tim.” He said why not?” as if it were a challenge to me. The boys knew Maggie was going to therapists and doctors several times a week and we were all waiting to see how far she would go. By that point, I was hoping she would someday be able to sit up on her own (did not happen) but the boys were still thinking she was going to be fine. Going for the easiest answer I said, well, she doesn’t see very well and California really does not want people driving vehicles if they cannot see where they are going. “He nodded and said, “Oh, right” That totally satisfied him, but I think he had a greater understanding after that. They have always been close and that day made them a little closer. I may have posted this picture of the two of them before, but here it is again. It is one of my favorites. He's watching tv and holding her as she sleeps.

Now Maggie is there. Maggie is of “driving” age. We are all the way down that road, she is who she is, and the boys are who they are. That’s just the way it is.

 And it’s all good.

The Boyz are in the House!

Maggie is always happiest when both of her brothers are around. Her entire face lights up when the three of them are together. Tim is already here and Eddie was home for the weekend a couple of weeks ago. Maggie just held court please as she could be that they were hanging out.

Tim (19) is holding Maggie (15) and Eddie (21) is mugging for the camera (for a change)

Boyz on the Move

Both of my sons are on the move this weekend. The older, Eddie, is heading across the country to North Carolina to compete in the Collegiate National Mountain Bike Races. He does the downhill and double slalom events, I think. The events chage from race to race. Downhill is consistent, but others change around. Hopefully he will return to school next week with all his bones still connected and all his teeth still in his mouth. He told me he never wanted to be mentioned in this blog. Sorry, dude. This is
B I G. Good luck.

The younger son, Tim, is coming home! He has use of #1 son’s car while he is racing and he’s coming home for the weekend. That’s good. It has been two months since we’ve seen him and I know Steve and I are both looking forward to it. But that pales in comparison to Maggie’s excitement. She is very happy that he is coming back. She’s been stuck with just her old geezer parents since he left.

Maggie and Tim have a special bond. They always have. He just scoops her up out of her wheelchair or off of the floor, plops down in the chair with her, and asks about her day. He will give her the play by play of whatever game he is watching and ask her opinion on game strategy. She just laughs. I’m pretty sure he confides in her too, because she is VERY good at keeping secrets. She adores him. Don’t get me wrong, she loves both of her brothers; and Eddie is very good to her too. But there is just a connection there between Maggie and Tim that is different. It’s probably because it was just Maggie and Tim after Eddie left for school. They had to team up against the evil parents.

When Maggie is excited, she pumps her right arm really fast. It is very funny to see. Think Arsenio Hall’s “whoop” move and put it on a fast speed. She started doing that about a year ago and it’s very consistent when she’s excited. I ask her if she is looking forward to seeing Tim and then I have to get out of her way or that arm will mow me down.

Wait until Thanksgiving when she has BOTH of them here. We can harness that arm energy as an alternative fuel source.

Tim and Mag the day he left

for school