Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts

Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Illness Olympics

Maggie is home from school again today. I let her go back on Tuesday and Wednesday but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have.  Tuesday wasn't too bad but she was really wiped out on Wednesday. She was not happy that I made her stay home, but considering this is what he looks like at 9:37AM, I'm thinking we made the right choice.


I kept getting calls from the nurse at school yesterday that Maggie's oxygen needs were increasing. She needed the oxygen at a higher level just to stay where she had been on Tuesday. Sometimes that happens. I said I would touch base an hour later and see what was going on. When he called back an hour later she had a complete explanation. It seems the oxygen tank that I filled and sent to school never actually filled. The tank was empty.

This happened to me the other day too. Somehow the tank is not "catching" when I lock it on to the big tank to fill it. I called the company to come out and replace it. They are very responsive and arrived late yesterday afternoon. Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with the tank, I just did it wrong.

That makes me feel so much better.

 I was going to get Maggie but she was able to use the O2 of another student.  Talk about relying on the kindness of others! I went home to get a spare e tank to trade for the one of his we were using, but they were different sizes.

We've spent the evenings this week falling asleep in front of the television watching the Olympics. It's not that they are boring,  they are not (but a little less ice dancing would be appreciated.) It's just that we are doing our own version of the Olympics here. We are all just wiped out from this bug and from ferrying Maggie to three doctor appointments and chest xrays and blood tests etc. No pneumonia or influenza but she is a sick girl.  I guess this is what you would call a Maggie version of a bad cold. Bad colds are tough on everyone. Maggie versions are scary.

  Hopefully she makes a turn for the better here soon.

Speaking of the Olympics, though, I have to tell you how very touching I find the story of the
Canadian Mogul Skier, Alexandre Bilodeau and his brother Frederic. Frederic has Cerebral Palsy and provides the inspiration and motivation for his now two time Olympic Champion brother.  Their connection is incredible. You don't need to have a kid with cerebral palsy to be touched by this story - but that fact that I do makes it that much sweeter. Watch the link for the sweet story

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/alex-bilodeau-gets-inspiration-older-brother


And just because it's the Olypics, I get to share one of my favorite pictures of my kids. This was taken during the Nagano Olympics in 1998. They were fascinated with the bobsledding team and watched the competition in full bobsled formation.





Sunday, February 9, 2014

Here comes the rain again...



The rain has finally arrived in California. For the past several weeks we've seen stories about frigid temperatures and snowpacolypse in much of the country, while we enjoyed 70 degree temperatures. Don't get me wrong, we knew the perfect weather was not good news. We needed rain here because the state is parched;  the governor declared a drought emergency and there was talk about mandatory water rationing.  Still , it's really hard not to enjoy a 70 degree day in mid January.

The storm door finally opened this week. it's been raining steadily since Thursday and it is a good start to filling reservoirs etc. In addition to the drought relief, though, the rain brings other things. Like a leaking roof. The roof in Maggie's bathroom is leaking. It has been a problem for years and we really thought we finally tackled the issue. Of course, there are no leaks when there is no rain.

Rain also brings the germs and bacteria that cause illnesses. Everyone huddles inside and shares their germs more. I thought Maggie was a bit puckish yesterday and late yesterday afternoon we noticed she had pink eye. This morning it's in both eyes and she does not feel good.




You might notice the oxygen going into her trach too. Someone really doesn't feel well.

I am lucky to have access to her doctor all the time, though and there is already a prescription waiting for her at the pharmacy. I'm going to get my umbrella and rain boots and go get that now.

You might want to stay away from this house for a few days.

The title to this blog put this song in my head, so I'm going to share it with you. Here's the Eurthymics singing Here Comes the Rain again....




Saturday, October 26, 2013

Shaking out the cobwebs

This week was a bit of a blur. It's not that it was particularly eventful or anything; Maggie went to school and came home and the nurses came and went. I did my usual 7000 loads of laundry, dutifully folding each load as it emerged from the dryer, trying to keep that downstairs room clean after Tim and I cleaned it out last week. But all that was done in 3 days instead of 5 as I was laid out sick with a fast moving virus all day Wednesday and Thursday I still sound like someone is holding my nose when I speak, but I feel better.

It started with Tim on Sunday. He had a fever and couldn't get out of bed all day. He was sneezing a lot on Saturday as we cleaned, but I assumed it was all the dust down there. He was down Sunday through Tuesday. he slept so much i was ready to get him checked for pneumonia. Tuesday I felt like someone had punched my in the jaw. I mentioned that to Tim and he said, well, that's how it started with me. Naah. I never get sick. Then Wednesday it hit me. At first I thought it was allergies too. At 8:00 AM I called the hospital and left a message saying I didn't know if I should come in. For some strange reason, they don't want sick people working in a children's hospital. Go figure.  I felt fine, but sounded terrible. By 9:30 I knew I was actually sick and confirmed the cancellation. By 11:00AM I was sick as a dog. I didn't meet Maggie's bus on Wednesday afternoon and did not take her out to the bus on Thursday morning. In fact I didn't even wake up until 11:00 AM on Thursday, something I haven't done since college. By Friday it was over. I went back to work at the hospital a bit nasally and suffering from a head cold hangover.

Now I am hoping and praying that Maggie doesn't get it. I think back to her sudden serious illness a few weeks ago and wonder if maybe she already did. I hope so, because I cannot imagine how this one would present on Ms. Maggie. Right now she's fine. In fact she is banging on her tray and repeating "Mom, I want my breakfast now" on her talker over and over. Charming.

I better hop to.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Back in the pink(ish)

It was a long and worrisome five days but Maggie is feeling better and returned to school today. She still needs a little oxygen to keep her oxygen saturation levels up, but she is getting there.

You can see she was pretty happy while waiting for the bus this am


We now return to our regularly scheded programming   

Thursday, October 3, 2013

X Ray Vision

My brief foray to Tahoe was great. It was relaxing and beautiful and a good opportunity to recharge my batteries. Good thing I did, too. We were about halfway through the 4 hour trip home when I received a phone call that Maggie had a fever. Hmmm. Maggie never gets fevers. She must really be sick.

As soon as I go home I could see that Maggie didn't feel well. The nurse had already given her Tylenol, so the fever was down, but Maggie was peaked and anxious. We couldn't get an accurate oxygen saturation reading because she was moving so much. I assumed that meant she needed oxygen so we turned it on and that helped a bit. She had an OK night, but I knew she needed to be seen by a doctor. When someone looks like this, they are pretty sick.



We went to the doctor, who talked about putting her in the hospital, then to the hospital for tests, then to the pharmacy for drugs etc. In between those trips there were at least 8 phone calls and emails to various doctors. She has some sort of respiratory issue that is not defined. Could be a slight pneumonia, could be atelectasis (partial lung collapse) and she also has a Urinary tract infection. Bad combo. Makes for an uncomfortable and unhappy Maggie. She needs oxygen and she is on antibiotics, so I am hoping things improve today.

 I am happily out of practice caring for a sick Maggie. She has been so healthy over the past year or so that we have been maintaining her health, which is a ton of work, but pales in comparison to the runaround and concern when she is ill. It didn't help that the runaround yesterday was far more complicated than it needed to be. Getting the chest xray added insult to illness.

It is NEVER easy to get a chest xray on Maggie. (I've written about it several times in the past) Maggie cannot get her body into the necessary positions to get a good picture. Generally one stands in front of the screen or sits on a stool. Maggie can't do either of those things. We can do it in her chair, but only after I remove the tray and the pole and the dynavox, take off the sides of the chair, flip back the laterals and the headrest and take off the straps. Of course then she is fastened only at the hips and I cannot let go of her for a second or she will be dangling by the groin straps.  It is labor intensive and very physical, but I know how to do it and can have it all done in about 3 minutes.

Of course one has to get OUT of the waiting room and into the xray room to accomplish all that. That can be more difficult than getting the xray. When they see Maggie arrive, they know it will be a lot more work for them (though really it's me) and there are immediately barricades in place. Yesterday they used the delay tactic, perhaps hoping we would give up and go home. But we all know that's never going to happen

When we checked in there was one person in front of us. I was relieved, because I needed to get Maggie home and into bed. That person was called and another family arrived. The other family was called as three others arrived. Now it's been 20 minutes. All three of those people went before us and I finally spoke up. There is always the fear that we weren't entered into the system or something.

I inquired very politely why all these people who arrived after us were going in while we were waiting 35 minutes. The woman asked my name and I said McDonald. She gave me some attitude and said, "don't worry, you're next." OK. Properly chastised I returned to my seat and gave a wan smile to another mom sitting there with her 12 year old daughter. I told her "it's the wheelchair. No one wants to deal with it so they put us to the bottom of the pile" Amazingly she said, "I know, my daughter used to be in one and it happened all the time." I said, "I do so hate to inconvenience health care workers with my daughter's medical needs." The mom laughed and so did the 12 year old.  We all bonded at that moment.

Them someone called Maggie's name and when I stood up she looked at the wheelchair and said, "oh, you need to wait here we have two more people in front of her and if she doesn't need to change (which she did not) then you can wait here." OK. Progress, I guess. Then they called the 12 year old girl with whom I had just bonded. The mom looked at me sort of  helplessly and I started to laugh. I said, "just go, you paid your dues. Besides,  they have to take us sooner or later."

Finally a full 45 minutes after we arrived,  they came to get Maggie. The mysterious people who were in front of us never materialized and we found ourselves talking to the nice mom again. Her daughter was just finishing up and we went in after her. There was absolutely no reason at all that Maggie had to wait. It was just a game of pass the buck until they couldn't pass it any longer.

The woman who had gently chastised me was the tech. I said nothing. It was time to just get this done. Maggie was getting hotter by the minute. She asked if I was going to remain in the room, and I said, simply. "You will need me to hold her." I removed all of the supporting pieces of the chair, put foam behind Maggie's head and held her arms above her head so they could get their picture.  I donned one of those lead aprons that weigh about 20 pounds and the xrays were completed.

As I started to put things back together the tech said nicely, "Please take your time. And thank you for your help."Again, I said nothing. It just seemed wiser. She was offering an apology of sorts because she knows I saw through the subterfuge.

It's called xray vision.







Monday, August 27, 2012

Ahhhh, Monday

No one ever says "Yay! It's Monday. 

Except perhaps for mothers sending their children back to school after a wild weekend.

I do look forward to Monday morning because when Maggie gets on that bus I can restore some order to my day. When she is home, whether the nurse is here or not, I am constantly on call and have one ear perked for the way she coughs, etc in case something is amiss. I honestly look forward to the mental and physical break. 

Of course I didn't get it today because Maggie is sick. She has a fever, which would ordinarily freak me out a little bit, but not this time. Tim had a fever and slept all weekend and Steve doesn't feel well either, so Maggie is just catching the virus that is making the loop around this house. So far, the only one untouched by fever is me, but I stayed in all day yesterday with a stomach issue. Don't know if that was my version of the same thing or not. Hope so, because I already feel better. 


The weekend would have been terrible if not for the kindness and generosity of Maggie's bus driver. Maggie arrived a bit late on Friday  like 3:50 instead of 3:30. She was tired but happy. I waited for her to get home to run some errands and because of the delay I left as soon as the nurse took her upstairs. I returned home right around 5:00. When I came in the nurse asked me where Maggie's tray was. I hadn't even noticed that she didn't have it when she got off the bus. The tray is essential because she cannot "talk" without it. The switches for her talker are on the tray. Now it's 5PM on Friday and we don't have a tray. The weekend was looking mighty bleak. 

I frantically called the bus company but they said they didn't have it. I texted the nurse who apologetically told me she slipped it right behind the bus drivers seat. I called again and told the bus company that and said tell me where to go to get it. I will drive to wherever he is to get it. The bus yard is across town, but I didn't care. We HAVE to have that tray. Just tell me where to meet him and I will go.  She called back a few minutes later and said, "Carlos said it's on the bus and he is bringing it to your house, he just left the yard." 

I was floored. He did NOT have to do that but at the end of his work week he drove that bus all the way across town to deliver that tray to Maggie. That was probably an extra 45 minutes at the end of a Friday afternoon. Talk about going above and beyond! I was quite impressed and let him know that. Carlos just shrugged it off because he is such a nice guy. 

It was a great start to a weekend. Now if we could just get this week going.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Forget it!

All week long I have been waiting for Thursday morning so I could get rid of the temporary crown in my mouth, which tasted like stale gum, and get the new one popped on. I couldn't forget May 3 because it's my wedding anniversary. Steve and I can go to dinner tonight with my beautiful new crown in place.

I woke up early this morning to get my shower done before starting Maggie's morning routine because I knew I wouldn't have time after. The bus was a little later than usual, but Maggie got off to school without too much trouble. I came inside, talked to Steve. We exchanged gifts and laughed because both were so practical. Hey, that's likely what got us to 26 years.

 I did this and that and the looked at the clock. 8:58. Almost 9:00. Hmmm... What did I have to do today? Then I remembered. 8:58?  Jeez, I have to be at the dentist at 9:00. I flew out the door in my sweats and with coffee on my breath. I  called the office as I got into the car and zoomed down there.

Since I have the nicest dentist in the world it wasn't a problem for him.  I, however, am a little troubled by it. I used to have a mind like a steel trap but now there is just too much going on and my little brain cannot keep everything straight.

Of course I had just finished fouling off another curveball. Maggie's nurse called in sick at the last minute yesterday because her back hurt. Ok, these things happen. I found a replacement lickety split. The she called back last night to tell me she would be out for a week because she has shingles. (Third case I've heard about this week.)  Ok. Bummer for her. I checked online about exposure to shingles and I'm not worried about Maggie because she had the chicken pox vaccine. (You can't "catch" shingles, but you can catch the virus and it causes chicken pox in people who never had it).

Maggie went off to school and then the school was concerned if Maggie was exposing other students to chicken pox. I didn't think so, but I had to check with the doctor because online sources are notoriously unreliable. This time they were right on the money.  Everything is cool, Maggie is not in fact Typhoid Mary (Margaret) and she is not infecting anyone at school.

Somehow, though I am going to blame her for my memory lapse. It couldn't be my advanced age. It must be something we catch from our kids.

Right?




Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Down and Out



 People are always telling me that they have a terrible cold, the flu, or any number of other ailments and I cluck sympathetically, but I never catch it. I injure myself regularly, but I rarely get ill.  Don't ask me why because it defies common sense. I am overweight, sleep deprived, sedentary, clumsy and yet extremely healthy.  I'm not complaining, mind you, just marveling.

On those rare occasions that I do feel under the weather I try to power through it because there's just too much to do. When I can't  do that I'm really not sure how to behave.  I believe that time should stop and wait for me but it never does.

Sunday night I was hit with a terrible stomach  pain and spent the evening in a ton of discomfort. I was sick. Steve and Maggie were asleep in the chair so I needed to wait to let the nurse in at 11:00PM before I could go to bed (It is impossible for Steve to answer the door when 80lb Maggie is sleeping in his lap). Finally I went to bed and slept fitfully all night.

Steve had to travel yesterday and was gone by 6AM. I got up and did the crazy morning thing and got Maggie off to school. I skipped my obligatory morning cup of coffee, which should have tipped me off that this was going to be a different kind of day. I was fuzzy and not great but not terrible. I  talked to Maggie's doctor and did a few other things. I sat down to work trying to power through this malaise, but  I could not concentrate. At around 9:15 I decided maybe I should lay down for a while.

I took my computer with me, determined to at least do my nursing paperwork that has to be in by Thursday. I set up a ton of pillows on the bed, got my cell phone and the house phone so I wouldn't have to get up. I opened my computer and tried to adjust my glasses to see the screen better. I put the computer down for just a moment. Next thing I knew the phone rang at 10:30 waking me up. Oh, I guess I was tired. I talked to the supply company that sends Maggie's food and feeding supplies arranging for a delivery on Friday. I put down the phone, glanced at my closed computer, took off my glasses and went to sleep.

I woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon! Time did not wait for me at all it just watched me sleep. Maggie's big party is Saturday, I have a gazillion things to do and I slept the day away. I feel a lot better today, but now I'm even further behind than I was.

So it's back to the hamster wheel for me and now I have to run just a little bit faster. Hope I don't fall off.

 




Monday, October 17, 2011

Luxuries

There are so many worries when one is a parent. So many. All of us want the best for our children and all of us worry and fret over roadblocks to achieving the best. That is the same for every parent.

The difference is the measuring stick. What's best for one child and one family may be unthinkable for another. For some children there will simply never be worries about "normal" things. In fact normal worries become luxuries. 

This piece in yesterday's New York Times is so elegant and eloquent that I have to share it. You can link it or read it below. My favorite line in this piece sums up everything I've tried to get across in this blog: 

We are dragon parents: fierce and loyal and loving as hell. Our experiences have taught us how to parent for the here and now, for the sake of parenting, for the humanity implicit in the act itself, though this runs counter to traditional wisdom and advice.

I tip my hat to the real Dragon parents out there.


Notes From a Dragon Mom


Alexandra Huddleston for The New York Times
Emily Rapp and her son, Ronan, who has Tay-Sachs disease.





Emily Rapp is the author of “Poster Child: A Memoir,” and a professor of creative writing at the Santa Fe University of Art and Design. 
Santa Fe, N.M.
MY son, Ronan, looks at me and raises one eyebrow. His eyes are bright and focused. Ronan means “little seal” in Irish and it suits him.
I want to stop here, before the dreadful hitch: my son is 18 months old and will likely die before his third birthday. Ronan was born with Tay-Sachs, a rare genetic disorder. He is slowly regressing into a vegetative state.  He’ll become paralyzed, experience seizures, lose all of his senses before he dies. There is no treatment and no cure.
How do you parent without a net, without a future, knowing that you will lose your child, bit by torturous bit?
Depressing? Sure. But not without wisdom, not without a profound understanding of the human experience or without hard-won lessons, forged through grief and helplessness and deeply committed love about how to be not just a mother or a father but how to be human.
Parenting advice is, by its nature, future-directed. I know. I read all the parenting magazines. During my pregnancy, I devoured every parenting guide I could find. My husband and I thought about a lot of questions they raised: will breast-feeding enhance his brain function? Will music class improve his cognitive skills? Will the right preschool help him get into the right college? I made lists. I planned and plotted and hoped. Future, future, future.
We never thought about how we might parent a child for whom there is no future.  The prenatal test I took for Tay-Sachs was negative; our genetic counselor didn’t think I needed the test, since I’m not Jewish and Tay-Sachs is thought to be a greater risk among Ashkenazi Jews. Being somewhat obsessive about such matters, I had it done anyway, twice.  Both times the results were negative.
Our parenting plans, our lists, the advice I read before Ronan’s birth make little sense now.  No matter what we do for Ronan — choose organic or non-organic food; cloth diapers or disposable; attachment parenting or sleep training — he will die. All the decisions that once mattered so much, don’t.
All parents want their children to prosper, to matter. We enroll our children in music class or take them to Mommy and Me swim class because we hope they will manifest some fabulous talent that will set them — and therefore us, the proud parents — apart. Traditional parenting naturally presumes a future where the child outlives the parent and ideally becomes successful, perhaps even achieves something spectacular. Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” is only the latest handbook for parents hoping to guide their children along this path. It’s animated by the idea that good, careful investments in your children will pay off in the form of happy endings, rich futures.
But I have abandoned the future, and with it any visions of Ronan’s scoring a perfect SAT or sprinting across a stage with a Harvard diploma in his hand. We’re not waiting for Ronan to make us proud. We don’t expect future returns on our investment. We’ve chucked the graphs of developmental milestones and we avoid parenting magazines at the pediatrician’s office. Ronan has given us a terrible freedom from expectations, a magical world where there are no goals, no prizes to win, no outcomes to monitor, discuss, compare.
But the day-to-day is often peaceful, even blissful. This was my day with my son: cuddling, feedings, naps. He can watch television if he wants to; he can have pudding and cheesecake for every meal. We are a very permissive household. We do our best for our kid, feed him fresh food, brush his teeth, make sure he’s clean and warm and well rested and ... healthy? Well, no. The only task here is to love, and we tell him we love him, not caring that he doesn’t understand the words. We encourage him to do what he can, though unlike us he is without ego or ambition.
Ronan won’t prosper or succeed in the way we have come to understand this term in our culture; he will never walk or say “Mama,” and I will never be a tiger mom. The mothers and fathers of terminally ill children are something else entirely. Our goals are simple and terrible: to help our children live with minimal discomfort and maximum dignity. We will not launch our children into a bright and promising future, but see them into early graves. We will prepare to lose them and then, impossibly, to live on after that gutting loss. This requires a new ferocity, a new way of thinking, a new animal. We are dragon parents: fierce and loyal and loving as hell. Our experiences have taught us how to parent for the here and now, for the sake of parenting, for the humanity implicit in the act itself, though this runs counter to traditional wisdom and advice.

NOBODY asks dragon parents for advice; we’re too scary. Our grief is primal and unwieldy and embarrassing. The certainties that most parents face are irrelevant to us, and frankly, kind of silly. Our narratives are grisly, the stakes impossibly high. Conversations about which seizure medication is most effective or how to feed children who have trouble swallowing are tantamount to breathing fire at a dinner party or on the playground. Like Dr. Spock suddenly possessed by Al Gore, we offer inconvenient truths and foretell disaster.
And there’s this: parents who, particularly in this country, are expected to be superhuman, to raise children who outpace all their peers, don’t want to see what we see. The long truth about their children, about themselves: that none of it is forever.
I would walk through a tunnel of fire if it would save my son. I would take my chances on a stripped battlefield with a sling and a rock à la David and Goliath if it would make a difference. But it won’t. I can roar all I want about the unfairness of this ridiculous disease, but the facts remain. What I can do is protect my son from as much pain as possible, and then finally do the hardest thing of all, a thing most parents will thankfully never have to do: I will love him to the end of his life, and then I will let him go.
But today Ronan is alive and his breath smells like sweet rice. I can see my reflection in his greenish-gold eyes. I am a reflection of him and not the other way around, and this is, I believe, as it should be. This is a love story, and like all great love stories, it is a story of loss. Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.


Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Pre teen and pre trach

Girls Rock Camp did not go well today. Maggie is coming down with something and making me quite nervous. She cannot seem to stay awake. She is "with it" - not lethargic (which is VERY bad) but she seems completely exhausted and she needed extra oxygen for a little bit today. She perked up later in the afternoon, but she spent her time at camp and most of the rest of the day like this, sound asleep.
You cannot see Barb who is holding her because there are other kids visible and I don't want to put up pics of kids I don't know. Barb was Maggie's physical therapist in middle school. Yesterday we saw Carmen who was her PT at the end of elementary school and today we also saw Alana, who handled Maggie is her early elementary years. Alana recently found these pictures from those days - maybe 8 or 9 years ago and shared them with me. These were from a power mobility camp. Maggie was trying to learn how to use the power chair. She still does it some, but we gave up on the joystick and now she drives with her head. It is very difficult for Maggie, but she loves loves loves doing it. 


There she is, pre-teen and pre-trach, missing teeth and all. I do miss her curly hair. It just disappeared over the years.  I always think she looks so young until I see the pictures from many years ago.

If Maggie doesn't perk up, tomorrow may be "Doctor Rock" camp instead of Girls Rock. 

Monday, May 16, 2011

Pushing toward Friday

Maggie continues to inch her way toward wellness, but it is excruciatingly slow. According to the doctor improvement is the key, even if it's measured in nannobytes.

The end of the year activities are coming fast and furiously. As I wrote the other day, Maggie missed Special Olympics day, which was spectacularly unfair.* Today was the picnic, and I did take her over there for a while. She still needs supplemental oxygen and does all right for a while, and then you can see her fade. It's like a curtain comes down on her energy level. Fortunately the picnic was in Golden Gate park, about 5 minutes from the house, so we could pop over and leave early without difficulty.

It's a stamina issue. I have to push her a little so she can increase her stamina, but not too much so she goes in the wrong direction. It's a balancing act.  But there is a goal. Maggie's prom is Friday night. We need her well enough to go.

This afternoon after the nurse arrived and we did all the procedures I decided it was time to plan for the positive. I bought Maggie's prom dress. It's not easy to find an appropriate dress for a variety of reasons. Maggie is very small in stature and we have to buy it in the little girls department. But her body, while small, is not that of a little girl. While she has certain physical attributes, she does not a shred of modesty. Any low cut dress or spaghetti straps are a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. The dress has to be malfunction proof, which means a high cut party dress..  But this is not a 8 year old birthday party, it's a high school prom. So we have to use more sophisticated  accessories. I think this just might work. Maggie perked up when she saw it and reached her hand out to feel the fabric.


Now let's hope she gets to wear it.


*quoted from Notting Hill. We've been stuck in the house watching a lot of movies.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I see the sky because we are looking UP.

Just a quick update. Maggie does seem better today and I am hoping that means she has turned the corner. Nights are the hardest, though because all her symptoms are worse when she's lying down. Still, things are better today than yesterday. She still needs oxygen, but I have safely lowered the rate. Couldn't lower it yesterday without creating difficulties. Not sure if the antibiotics are working now that they've been on board for two days  or if it's viral and it's finally starting to break down. Either way, I'll take it.

This is a direction I would like to continue following, thankyouverymuch.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

What's Brewing?

Maggie's school year will be over by Memorial Day. That means we are down to the last couple of weeks when all the fun stuff happens. Maggie has a huge week or so scheduled. Special Olympics is on Friday. The special ed picnic is on Monday and the Prom is NEXT Friday.

And today she is getting sick.

Come ON. Don't make her miss out on this stuff. It is just not fair.

She's needed supplemental oxygen since yesterday and now she's sleepy and coughing up strange colors. I've called the doctor, but I suspect we will have to wait for this to fully rear its ugly head to deal with it. She could be brewing up another pneumonia - that seems to be her "go to" illness. And, if I'm right that will knock her out for a week or so.

I hope I'm wrong, but my antennae are up
.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A break from Spring break

Maggie is off school this week. It is her spring break.We planned a fun outing at least once a day in the morning before the nurse arrived. We haven't done that well. We did go shopping on Monday, we went to grandpa's house on Saturday and had a trip to the park on Sunday. Monday was just one errand in the afternoon. Tuesday we did have fun doing some shopping for the opening of baseball season - including a walk around AT&T park in Maggie's panda hat.

 (For those of you NOT SF Giants fans 1) why not? and 2) "Panda" is 3rd baseman Pablo Sandoval's nickname.)



Today was supposed to be another trip to Fisherman's wharf. The weather is fantastic and we were going to hit the wharf early. But it was not to be.

Early was redefined.

Tim arrived home at 1:00AM and the nurse told him to wake me up to come and check on Maggie. She was needing increased oxygen. I hung out for a while evaluating and basically told the nurse to marshall on. Yes. It was concerning and I needed to check in with the doctor in the AM. The nurse may have wanted more, but Maggie just wasn't sick enough to justify a trip to the ER in the middle of the night. Basically they (read "I") would have monitored her all night and I had a private nurse to do that. I went back to bed and tossed and turned until 6:30.

In the morning, Maggie looked better. The nurse left and I was in charge. She was doing ok, but I had to report this. i called the nurse practitioner. The message said she was on vacation but the other NP would be checking messages and returning emergency calls. Were we an emergency? No, not at that point. I chatted with my sister on the phone and kept an eye on Maggie. By 10:30 she was looking pretty pale. I told her O2 sat and it was alarmingly low. I put the oxygen on and decided to page the pulmonologist. (First time I have used her direct pager since she gave it to me a couple of months ago.) I was hoping we could just get an order for a chest xray and whatever labs Maggie needed. Nope. We had to go through channels. She told us to go to urgent care.

Urgent care has punted Maggie to the ER too many times for my liking. They decide based on her description alone that Maggie has to go to the ER. Maggie is not sick enough to need the ER and it is a waste of time and money to go there. I called Dr. Aicardi, her private pediatrician. As usual, they were extremely accommodating and we could be seen there at 11:30. Perfect.

We were there for an hour. Maggie had (another) breathing treatment and her numbers improved dramatically. We took a prescription along with orders for blood work and a chest xray to use if she got worse instead of better.  It could go either way. We waited for the drugs for 45 minutes and then gave up and went home, arriving around 2:00PM. By 3:00 PM I talked to the doctor and they changed the antibiotic they had just ordered. I needed to go back to Walgreen's to get the new drug. ugh.

Tonight Maggie's numbers are a bit lower again. She is a little worse, but not terribly. Still, things are not gong in the right direction. It looks like our outing tomorrow will be to the lab for the blood work and xrays.

Too bad. We had much more enjoyable things planned.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Energy Crises

I have tremendous respect for pneumonia. The illness manifests in many different ways, but it always kicks your butt.   Maggie is recovering from her latest bout with this bug now and she is doing fine. Until she isn’t. It just sort of sneaks up on her and saps her energy. She will be mid sentence  with  her talker and suddenly fall sound asleep.

 Pneumonia ordinarily means  horrible coughing and a high fever.  In her countless past episodes of pneumonia, I’ve certainly seen both more than once.  She has neither this time around. Her chronic cough is a little worse than usual, but not terrible.  Her usually low temp is more in the normal range, but nothing I would call a fever.  This time it is all issues related to energy and stamina.

Maggie was exhausted for a week before I took her to the doctor on Monday. I assumed she was adjusting back to a full school day after two weeks of Christmas vacation. By last weekend she was needing a little oxygen during the day, which is unusual. That little bit would reenergize her for  several hours.  I sent her to school Monday warning the nurse that something was off.  After a couple of hours the nurse called to tell me that she needed oxygen constantly or her oxygen levels would drop.

That was my tipping point. If she needs that much help it had to be a pneumonia. It was time for the doctor.
Now we are on day 5 of antibiotics and Maggie is much better. I tried to send her to school yesterday but she didn’t last more than a couple of hours.  She’s a wee bit stronger today, though and she went back to school this morning. She has already lasted longer than she did yesterday. Now theres a  three day weekend, so she should be in good fighting shape by Tuesday.

Then we’ll get back to the wind sprints.  

Friday, November 19, 2010

Who's the Boz?

Maggie did have to go to urgent care on Friday. We spent over three hours at UCSF but we got a lot done. She had a chest xray, a flu shot, a respiratory treatment, some steroids and two prescriptions. She was sicker than I thought. The chest xray was not terrible, but it was not clear either.They said "maybe" a viral pneumonia, but definitely a sick girl.

 Getting the xray is always a chore, but I have to say today went fairly smoothly. The woman in charge was helpful, knowledgeable and actually listened to my concerns.

 As always I donned my lead apron to ward off the radiation and helped hold Maggie in the various positions.
When they do the lateral view I'm supposed to hold her hands over her head while she leans forward in the chair.  This is extremely difficult. Maggie has difficulty lifting both hands over her head at once and if she doesn't want to do it, you cannot believe the strength she has to fight it.

 I used her favorite song against her.We listened to Beyonce sing that song about 20 times today, so I know exactly when she would react. I waited for the right moment and said
"All the single ladies, put your hands UP".
She did. I grabbed them and they got the picture. The picture was clear, but the lungs were not.

Incidentally earlier in the day we were putting various tunes on the Ipod. Maggie actually let me play a different set list. I heard the song linked below and tried to explain to her that this was my high school song. This was my "single ladies." She smiled sympathetically, much as I did to my parents as they tried to convince me how great Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey were. Turns out they had a point. Perhaps Maggie will see the light one day too.

For all the St. Rose girls out there, here's Boz Scaggs doing Dinah Flo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBMltO6yvog&playnext=1&list=PL2E0DF64D49EA0179&index=13


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Sick Sense of Humor


Maggie is under the weather. You can tell by looking at her. She has been fighting off the blahs for several days and it finally caught up to her. Hopefully it is only a cold, but Maggie’s system is so sensitive that any disruption in the force sends her into a tailspin. I have called the doctor, but I do not think we need to go unless she gets worse.

Right now, I have her hooked up to the oxygen because she keeps fading away without it. It is like gas in the tank. It is exactly like gas in the tank. The problem is when the oxygen works its magic, Maggie’s energy comes back and then she yanks the oxygen tubing off, which causes her to fade again. We will play this game all day. It is not particularly fun.

This morning Steve was running around looking for nail clippers because Maggie had a broken fingernail. He went upstairs grumbling when he could not find them in Maggie’s room. While he was up there I just fixed the issue with my hand.

Ok, alright, I pulled it off.  If it were on my hand, I would have done that. You would too, be honest.

Steve came back down the stairs and I said I already took care of it.  He said you didn’t yank it off did you? I smiled and nodded. He jokingly chastised me a bit saying you are not supposed to do that.  I teased him back that he would have us head to the ICU for a broken fingernail.    Maggie just listened with a weak smile on her face.

As Steve was leaving for work, he told Maggie to feel better. He asked where it hurt and she pointed to her throat area. He said “Anywhere else?” She looked very tired and reacted in slow motion. Eventually she grabbed her finger with the now repaired nail and gave a sly grin.  Steve gave me a look of (mock) disapproval.

She may be feeling ill, she may be a bit weak, but her teenage attitude and sense of humor are just fine, thank you.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Have a Seat

Finally checking back in after several days of feelin’ poorly and not posting. Friday I snuck off to Monterey with two of my sisters, despite feeling less than 100%. That was fun, but I overdid it and felt worse when I returned.  It was totally worth it.We spent the day laughing our heads off, driving to beautiful Monterey and visiting my niece Bridget. It was a real day off for me. I was gone for 11 hours and it felt like a week’s vacation.  Nurse Josephine was here to meet Maggie’s bus when she arrived from school. Those two have a great time together so Maggie was not even mad at me when I returned. (If I am gone for a change of shift, Maggie really gets “mad” at me.)  I had to go to bed not long after arriving, though because I was exhausted, so she spent the rest of the evening with Steve.

On Saturday, I decided not to be sick anymore and just went about my day. That caught up with me by the end of the day.  We need a new chair for the nurses to use in Maggie’s room. The one that‘s in there is shot. This is not an easy task. It is difficult to find the right chair because it has to fill so many requirements at once. It has to be sturdy and comfortable but it cannot be too big because space is at a premium.  This chair will be in use 16 hours a day with people of various shapes and sizes getting up and down constantly. Because of the configuration of the room, this chair will have to be able to sustain numerous hits from the wheelchair, which means it should be upholstered, not wooden so the dings will not show. Finally, the night nurses need to be able to put their feet up and relax a bit when Maggie is snoozing, but there is no room for an ottoman. We have had a slim recliner in there for years; that seems to be the only thing that fits the bill. They wear out, though and need replacing every few years.  

 I saw an ad for a sale at the lazy boy store and went for a ride to South City to check it out. South San Francisco is not very far away but it takes a long time to get there from here. There are lots of signals and slow going, but eventually I arrived and started testing chairs.

Let me give you some advice. When you are physically worn out and pretending not to be sick, do not go test recliners. Every single one of them is so comfortable; it was all I could do not to fall asleep.   I decided that was like grocery shopping when hungry and left the store without making a purchase.

It's a good thing I didn't see this one, though. In addition to whatever physical bug I'm fighting, I'm still not over World Series Fever.

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November Thankfuls
November 5 – for my sisters, for the beautiful California coastline and for clam chowder
November 6 - for recliner stores, afternoon naps and for young enthusiastic nurses who want to care for Maggie
November 7 – that Tim arrived home safely at midnight and will be here until tomorrow.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Labor Day

 It is a beautiful day here. Gorgeous. But I'm too grumpy to enjoy it yet. 

The night nurse didn't arrive at 11:00PM as she was supposed to. Maggie is sick. She has bronchitis that we are desperately trying to keep from turning into pneumonia.  She needs oxygen all the time until this clears up. I had been dealing with a lot all day. Even when the day nurse was here I was talking to the doctor and making trips to the pharmacy. 

I was more than ready to hit the hay at 11:00. No Lucy.11:15 no lucy. I called her cell. No answer. I called her house. No answer. I texted. No response. Arrgh. 

I sent Steve to bed (he had a far more exhausting day than I and arrived home at about 9:30). I put Maggie in her bed and switched over to the large oxygen tank . I sat at her bedside and played on my computer until I could not keep my eyes open any longer. That was about 1:00AM Maggie was in a deep sleep so I reclined the chair and fell asleep.  I figured I would hear Maggie if she needed anything.. 

Next thing I knew it was 1:30 and Steve was walking in the room. Lucy had been ringing the door bell for five minutes and I didn't hear it. She overslept. She woke up at midnight and just started getting ready, showering etc, but never bothered to call or respond to my texts. Bizarre.

It scares me that I would sleep through the doorbell when I'm supposed to be on duty with Maggie. You can't really hear it in the back that well, but I was really out. That's a problem. 

I went to bed intending to sleep until 9.  About an hour later Steve says, "did you hear the doorbell." I said "that already happened, she's here." He said, " I thought I heard it again." (Now it's 2:30AM). I said "I am not expecting anyone and if it's some sort of emergency they will bang on the door." He went back to sleep. I wondered if there was some sort of emergency. (Not enough to get up and check, mind you, just enough to not sleep) 

 As a bonus for the evening, Steve forgot to turn off his cell phone alarm from his outing on Sunday morning. It went off at 7AM. I heard THAT perfectly.  Intersting because that is downstairs and I was upstairs. He ran down and turned it off and went right back to sleep. Me? Not so much.

Sleep was just not in the cards for me last night. 

I sent Lucy home. She talks incessantly and my brain is too foggy to listen to her. I would rather take care of Maggie myself than listen to her chronic mumbling. Truly I hear: " mmbllelblelmele,  right Sally?"  And I say "I'm sorry, what did you say." so she repeats it. It doesn't help. It hurts to concentrate. I told her to get some sleep and BE ON TIME tonight.

so it's me and Maggie. And a large pot of coffee.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Swing for the Fence

I have adopted a (frightening) philosophy: set your goals low and feel good that you achieve them. You get to pat yourself on the back for doing what you set out to do. It is ok to do more than your goals, but you always know you will achieve specific goals for the day. However, when you do not accomplish the miniscule goals you set for yourself, you feel stupid. Yesterday was one of those days.


My goals or “must do” list for yesterday had only two things on it. Get Maggie to her 4:30 appointment on time and sign for a package that was about to be shipped back to the sender. (They tried to deliver it when Maggie was in the hospital.) Staying in the house all day made that easy. Or so one would think.

Up to the time we had to leave for her appointment, Maggie and I stayed in all day yesterday trying to get both of us healthier. I should have made this one of my goals, but it was not a “shoe in” so it did not make the list. I am happy to report that Maggie no longer needs supplemental oxygen during the day, hence staying in was a good decision.

The nurse arrived at noon and worked with Maggie while I went into our downstairs room, which houses the laundry and all the junk we do not know what to do with. I started throwing things out and filling boxes for donating. I was down three for three hours and finished the laundry too. Quite the accomplishment, and it was not even on my “must do” list.

Because I have a tremendous head cold, my energy was sapped. At 3:45 PM, I sat in the living room with a late lunch and promptly fell asleep in the chair. I woke up at 4:10 and had to scramble to get Maggie ready to go to her appointment.

I decided to leave a note and my signature for UPS to leave the package or deliver it to a neighbor. As I went to tape it to the front door, I saw the post-it note indicating he had already been there. ARRGH! He must have come while I was downstairs. The nurse was with Maggie on the main floor, but she never heard the door. There is always a suction machine or nebulizer going which makes it difficult to hear anything. It is also possible my doorbell did not work, it is a bit fussy.

That package will now be returned to the sender. I cannot worry about it. I did not order this stuff, one of Maggie’s therapists did. It was supposed to be delivered to the school or directly to him, but they shipped it to us. Now it will be another couple of weeks before we get them, but c’est la vie.

I had to shake off this dashed goal so that I could accomplish my other miniscule goal of getting Maggie to her appointment on time.

We were 10 minutes late.

Today my goals are attaining world peace and cleaning up the oil in the Gulf. I figure if I am going to fail to achieve goals, I might as well swing for the fence.