Showing posts with label pioneers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pioneers. Show all posts

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Ahead of the curve



Maggie, like many of her disabled peers, is ahead of the curve in so many ways.  She is the product of advanced medicine, alive and thriving in a world that doesn't have an infrastructure in place to deal with her needs.  She is a survivor and lives in a world that is not set up for her.

 This is not limited to disabled children, either. Kids with various health care needs are surviving longer. They may need assistance but there is nothing in place because they are the first generation to survive. There is not sufficient infrastructure for any members of society who depend upon the net of social services, but for these first generation survivors, it is really up to the families to get things set up. And families are tired because they are already completely overtaxed.

I do believe that the state and federal government WANT to help, but it chokes on its own bureaucracy. Things are pieced together from this program and that program. If you shove a round peg into a square hole, there will always be gaps.  Change happens, but on a glacial timetable. (Wait, even the glacial timetable is faster now that the polar ice caps are melting so quickly.) The piecemeal approach and the delays in addressing the reality of the populations these programs serve have drastic effects on many many lives.

On Sunday I had the pleasure of sharing the story of Maggie and how we make it all work. I went to Jack's Camp a weekend camp for families who have a child with a brain tumor, or deal with the after effects of the brain tumor, even if those are none. Check out Jack's Camp, it's one of two family camps in California sponsored by We-Can, a non profit organization  was founded by a couple of MOMS to address a need that was not being met for survivors of brain tumors.  This is all funded by the Taylor Family Foundation.

The families at camp can socialize and exchange information with other families who "get it".  I participated in a large group discussion at the Camp and a lot of the discussion involved the ways the system doesn't address the kids who have brain damage and lingering effects of surviving a brain tumor. Maggie has never had a brain tumor, but as I told them, we were simply in different cars on the same road. It was the same story I hear with parents of kids with disabilities from any number of causes.

One mom pointed out she was "lucky" that her daughter was diagnosed with cerebral palsy because that opened doors to programs that her daughter would not have been able to access with only a brain tumor.

Reread that last sentence. Does that make sense to you? Of course not. If there is a child in need of services, and the services are available -- which they ARE -- why on earth would one cause be covered and another not.

Before anyone out there pounds their fist and screeches about too much government, I am not saying that we necessarily need more services, but they must be available to the children who need them. And under the antiquated service delivery system in place they are not getting there. The system doesn't recognize the Maggie's of the world or the disabled survivors of childhood brain tumors because they simply weren't part of the world when the system was set up. But they are here and part of every community.

We Can, and the Taylor Family Foundation are doing great work, but they cannot do it all. With an efficient system delivery service at the government level, organizations like these could get so much more done.



It is time to streamline and upgrade. Governmental agencies need to stop protecting what they conceive to be their territory and make sure the services get to the people who need them.  I am certain that services could be delivered in a more efficient and cost effective way and help more people.  And isn't that why they are in place.



Just don't make the families do it all. We have been pioneering for years and we are really really tired of the hardscrabble life on the Prairie.





Thursday, November 15, 2012

Gratitude and sadness for a man named Tim

As I was parallel parking the car yesterday I heard that little "ding" that let me know I  had an email. Often  I don't even hear the tone and, even if I do, I generally ignore it when I'm out and about. But I was just about to run a bunch of Maggie errands and took a minute to read it after the car was stopped.

The email advised me that a man named Tim died yesterday morning. Tim was a middle aged man with significant disabilities.I did not know Tim, but I have corresponded with his sister Lisa who reads this blog regularly. She related to my stories about Maggie because she grew up with Tim as her brother. She adored her brother. In fact their relationship made me think of the relationship my son Tim has with Maggie.

 In a time when it didn't happen very often and against the advice of doctors and the "establishment", Tim grew up at home with his family. There were not many support services in place and getting him an education was extremely difficult. But he grew up surrounded by the love of his family and thrived. Eventually Tim had to live away from his family to get an education but his family was near him and spent a lot of time with him. From all I have learned from his sister, Tim was a delight to be around. And now he's gone and his family is devastated.

Reading that email  made me very sad and I mourned for this man across the country that I do not know. I sat in my car on Clement Street and started to cry. Tim lived his life in quiet grace, yet was largely invisible to society. That's true for many people, but especially for the disabled. Even though I didn't know him, Tim wasn't invisible to me.

Tim was a pioneer and raised by a family of pioneers. He stayed home at a time when "those kids" didn't. He was an integral part of his family, who made many sacrifices to give him the kind of life he  - and everyone - deserved.  They did it with love and dedication. They did it without the support I get for Maggie. The sacrifices that people like Tim and his family made a generation ago woke people up and because of that there is more support for the Maggies of today's world.

After a few minutes I got out of the car and went in to buy the supplies I needed for Maggie. It struck me how lucky I was to be able to get what I need so close to home because the world is just a little bit easier than it used to be. There is still a long way to go and I hope the next generation will benefit from Maggie's sacrifices as well. For now, I thank Tim and his family and families like his from the bottom of my heart.

Spend a moment today and send a prayer or a good thought to this lovely family who is mourning the loss of their son, and brother. And if you have a family member with a disability, send some gratitude to this family for their part in making our lives just a little bit easier.

Rest well, Tim.