Having Maggie home from school yesterday was not fun. Sorry, but sometimes it is just difficult.

We started out having fun. We took a short spin around the neighborhood with the dog. All quiet on the western front. (Veteran’s Day reference) Then we went to get Maggie her flu shot. That went smoothly as well – she did not even react to the shot. Puh-leaze. After all this girl has been through, a flu shot is peanuts in a world of elephants.

We went to Mountain Lake Park so the dog could play at the dog park. That was great. Maggie loved all the dogs. They are always a friendly bunch there. Because the dog park is unfenced, people have to have control of their dogs. We walked the long way back to the car and Brisco found a smelly puddle of mud to roll in. The ride home was not pleasant. However, squirting him with the hose when we got home was hilarious. Brisco did not really think so, but Maggie enjoyed that immensely.

We came in the house and Maggie was due for feeding and everything else. As I was getting the feeding ready, she pulled out her trach. It was just the two of us at home and re-tying the trach really takes three hands. Especially when she is in the chair with the headrest covering her neck. Maggie cannot be counted upon as a helping hand, so I had to do it on my own. I grabbed the emergency supplies and reinserted the trach. I could not figure out how to hold it and tie it at the same time because I needed a hand to lean her forward in the wheelchair. I considered just holding it there for 30 minutes until the nurse arrived, but realized that was ridiculous. I could not even leave her to open the front door. I held the trach in place with one hand and threaded one side with the other. Then I leaned her forward and basically held her in place with my hand on the trach. (Ouch) I was quite impressed with myself when I got it re-tied in short order.

Before I could even reach around to pat myself on the back, it came out again. The trach was broken. The little flange where it is threaded had a slit in it and the tie came right off. We had to do it again. All in ten minutes. I grabbed a new one and did the whole thing again. My heart was pounding. I felt very vulnerable and I really felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Maggie was and is fine. She pulls and pulls on the thing and eventually it comes out. We have tried to teach her not to do this, but we have been unsuccessful. She knows exactly what she is doing, but she cannot stop herself. As I told someone yesterday, this behavior is somewhere between teenage obstinance and obsession.

But there may have been a breakthrough today. She knew I was upset. I hooked up her talker after these back-to-back incidents and she just said, “Mom is mad.” I said, “Yes Maggie, mom is mad. You have to stop doing that.”

Maybe that will work. I hope so. The nurse arrived and a little later, the nurse’s aide arrived. I made a cup of tea and went upstairs. I did not intend to take a nap, but I fell sound asleep for about an hour. That was good.

So this morning I am putting Maggie on the bus and leaving town. My sister is coming with me. I am going to visit the boys at school. I’m sure they will be thrilled to see me. Sadly, the economy is so bad that the hotel room is practically free. Well, not sad for me, I guess. I have not been up there since Tim left and it is time to check in. I will be back before she gets home tomorrow afternoon. Dad is in charge. Nurses are here and lined up for virtually every hour I am gone.

Moreover, since the boys are in Nevada, I will do a little gambling and hope my luck changes.

So I’ll post again on Friday.