Teach your Children well

We went to Mass at St. Ignatius on Christmas Eve. St Ignatius church is an amazing place. My family frequently went to this church for special occasions, including my dad’s funeral mass. The place means a lot to my family and to about 10,000 other families like mine. The church is visible from many parts of the city because it sits on top of a hill right in the middle of town. Our house is just a few blocks below it and we can see it out the back windows upstairs. Though not politically correct, the church is lit up at night and it is spectacular. It is also enormous. I think the church holds something like 3500 people. On a regular Sunday with the regular churchgoers it seems almost empty; but on Christmas, the place is packed.

There is a Christmas Mass at 4PM on Christmas Eve. That is perfect for families who want to go but cannot get everyone to church on Christmas morning. It is perfect for us too because we start our Christmas with that Mass and come back here for Christmas Eve dinner. As I noted before, Maggie was well enough to join us this year, so everything felt right.

There were HUNDREDS of little kids there. They were all dressed up and running around. It is very cute. They stare at Maggie open mouthed, which is not that cute. She sits in her wheelchair in the aisle, so she is quite visible to all of them. The bravest kids walk right up to her chair and start investigating all the nooks and crannies. We are talking little kids, maybe 1.5 to 2.5 years old. It does not bother Maggie and therefore it (generally) does not bother me. (Ok, it does a little). I understand that Maggie is different and her wheelchair is a HUGE draw to the children. I guess I do not always understand their parents. Or many parents.

One little boy wandered by uninterested in Maggie. He was about three. He walked up the aisle, back down and up again. He was looking for his parents. I watched his face change, saw the lower lip go out and knew he was lost. I told Steve to watch Maggie and approached him. “Do you want me to help you find your mom?” He nodded and took my hand. We walked up and down a couple of aisles. I presumed I would see his mom or dad frantically looking for him. Nothing. I walked across the back of the church and asked the people standing if they knew to whom he belonged. Nope. They thought he was with me. We went half way to the front to the church and I picked him up figuring again, that I would be able to see someone searching for him and he would be more visible in my arms. Remember, there are over 3500 people in this church. Nope. I asked him his name, told him mine, and said, “Let’s go up another aisle.” He was scared to death and trying not to cry.

We walked around for at least 10 minutes. I went farther across the back of the church when suddenly a man appeared, grabbed the child and said to him angrily, THIS is why you don’t wander away from me.” Not a word to me. Not ‘Thank you’, not ‘Merry Christmas’, not ‘Keep your hands off my son’, Nothing. He just grabbed him and walked away scolding the frightened child. I just stood there and quietly said to no one, “You’re welcome”. A woman standing next to me saw the whole thing and just said, “Poor kid.” My thought exactly.

I missed a good portion of the mass dealing with that little guy. That is fine, but his dad was a creep. I am sure his father was frightened and I hope he had been looking for him the whole time, but … please.

You do not know what you have there, mister. He is a perfectly healthy little boy who needs you to tell him he is safe. He needs you to keep him safe. Do not blame him when you screw up. Pay attention. Be a responsible parent.

I made my way back to my family and sat down. I just shook my head and watched the kids investigate Maggie’s chair again. It did not bother me so much after that. They may have been slightly inappropriate and their parents seemed to encourage the inappropriateness, but at least those parents were watching their children.