Say what???

Maggie is 15, and 15-year-old girls can be mean. Maggie is not immune from this despite all her disabilities and medical issues. Apparently, she was mean to her friend Sierra the other day and really hurt her feelings.

I have written about Sierra before. She is a girl who befriended Maggie – really the first to ever do so. Maggie’s world is limited socially because of her situation. All of her friends were always other special ed kids who had parents with whom I liked to socialize. They were “play dates” way past the age your mom should be picking your friends. The rest of her friends were the adults in her world. Maggie did not have any control over her social life. I knew that and wanted it to be better, but if I tried to control that, I was manipulating it.

Then she met Sierra. I think it was last year that Sierra and the other girls started coming into Maggie’s class. Sierra led the charge and Maggie now has several typically developing friends. That has done wonders for Maggie. She likes pop music because Sierra and the girls like it, she wants to wear certain clothes because Sierra and the girls wear them. All appropriate social stuff for a 15 year old.

Maggie used her communication device to “diss” Sierra in speech class the other day. Sierra does have some learning issues and she attends a group speech class with Maggie. Everyone in the class prepares a sentence to share. Maggie uses her communication device and the other students use pen and paper. Then they take turns sharing. As soon as Sierra started speaking, Maggie hit “whatever” on her talker and then “Speak Up, Sierra.” Sierra’s feelings were really hurt.

Maggie is getting better at her communication device and she KNOWS exactly what she is doing. Yes, that is a huge breakthrough, but turning on Sierra is not smart. According to the nurse who was with her it was very clear that Maggie knew what she was doing and was not kidding. Sierra was shocked. Maggie used her talker to apologize, and Sierra forgave her.
Maggie is learning more and more the power of communication, not just positive, but negative. Of course that is important because as the saying goes “words hurt”, even if they are coming out of a synthesized machine. She may be exploring that concept and Sierra is a trusted place to practice, but Maggie has to be careful she does not lose the friend that changed her world.

The thing Maggie has to learn, and probably already knows, is if she wants people in her world she has to be MORE welcoming and nicer than others are. Her wheelchair, trach, suction machine, communication device, feeding tube, attendant and just the amount of space she requires in a room keeps people at bay. She will have to compensate for that with kindness to make people feel comfortable. Maggie is very good at using her smile to put people at ease and now she has to learn to use communication the same way.

It is just teenage, middle school drama, with a techno-twist. Maybe they can do a sequal of "Mean Girls" with a special ed, augmentative communication theme. Do you think Hollywood is ready for that?