Pay It Forward

The Family Advisory council (FAC) met last night. This is an advisory board of sorts for the UCSF Children’s Hospital. The head of the hospital attended the meeting to thank the council for its commitment to the Children’s Hospital. We do not really see the effects we have anywhere but she assured us that we have a lot of power within the institution. For example, if the FAC has approved something, folks are reluctant to mess with it. That was nice to hear, because it’s easy in a large bureaucracy to feel small and insignificant.

Several new members joined the board last night and we took time to make introductions and explain why we are members of the board. For the parents on the board, the reason is simple: we have a child that was or is served by the UCSF Children’s hospital and want to give something back.

Many of us have been part of this board for two or three years and know the stories of each other’s children. With all the new members, though, everyone explained their situation just a little more clearly. On the other hand, maybe I just decided to listen closer. The stories are as varied as the children themselves. There are patients who spent weeks in the hospital protecting their unborn babies from high-risk pregnancies, some with positive results, and some without. There are parents of children who needed just one outpatient procedure and those (like me), whose child has permanent and ongoing medical issues. There are parents whose children made amazing recoveries from the brink of death and those who lost children despite the best efforts of a great hospital.

As we went around the table telling our stories, I was struck by the individual drama of each story and each parent’s willingness to put that drama aside and work to make UCSF Children’s Hospital a better place for all families. It was humbling but it made me proud; I was feeling two competing emotions at the same time.

If the only change we effect is small, it is worthwhile. It is worthwhile to hear and understand that other families have stories more compelling than mine, and that they appreciate the importance of sharing their unique body of knowledge to assist others in the same position.

There is nothing good about having a sick child, or losing a child, but something good can come from it