I solemnly swear

Maggie swore in class yesterday. I have a daughter who cannot talk, cannot emit sound, does not have swear words on her communication device, and she said HELL out loud in class.

You need some background to appreciate this.

Vocal speech is a physiological phenomenon. A person can emit sound because they vocal chords move as we exhale and they can control their mouth and tongue to formulate words. The ability to talk and gift of gab are different from the physical ability to make sounds; they are complicated intellectual and neurological functions. Most people effortlessly combine the two abilities and engage in meaningful speech. Some people lose or lack one ability or the other. Babies have the physiological ability, but lack the intellectual function/maturity and have not developed the neurological pathways to talk. (They quickly figure it out, though.) Sometimes a stroke or other neurological event disrupts the intellectual functioning or the neurological pathways. Likewise, but less frequently, something happens to the physiological area. For example, damage to the vocal chords or even surgical intervention due to cancer affects one physically but the intellectual function remains intact.

Maggie’s inability to talk is mostly physical for a couple of reasons. The damage to her brain, commonly known as cerebral palsy, affects her motor skills, including the movement of her mouth and tongue. She could make sounds, but formulating words was very difficult because of the complex movements required. The intellectual functioning is there. In fact, she could say a few words (MAMA was the best!) and she could use tone and volume to convey messages. When she got the trach in 2007, there was a disruption in the physiology and she could no longer even make sounds. She does not make any sound when she laughs, cries or screeches in joy. It is a simple matter. The trach tube itself prevents air from coming through the vocal chords. She exhales through the tube, not through her mouth, hence no sound. Maggie needs the tube to get enough oxygen so the trade off is an easy one.

Ok, maybe not EASY.

There is a valve that can go over the trach forcing air to go through the vocal chords thus allowing a person with a trach to speak. Maggie is not a candidate for that because 1) she cannot tolerate having her trach covered for even a few seconds because she is totally trach dependent for oxygen and 2) she still has the motor impairment that prevents her from formulating words efficiently.

Yet she finds a way. Remember, that intellectual functioning and her strong personality are both working overtime.

Maggie has learned that tilting her head a certain way will block off a portion of the trach, not so much that she cannot breathe, but enough to allow some air up through the vocal chords, and make noise. It is not reliable. She cannot always pull it off and sometimes she does it unintentionally, but it always delights her. When she is laughing hard, she can sometimes emit a high squeal for a second. Occasionally you will hear an enthusiastic YEAH!

Apparently, Maggie is perfecting this technique. Yesterday she said HELL while working in the classroom. The teacher and the nurse both heard it and asked her if she meant to say that. Maggie, being delighted at the sound and the attention, signed an enthusiastic YES! They asked if her parents knew she said that and again she proudly signed YES! (Really? Thanks for that, Mag. Just throw the parents under the bus.)

Her inability to speak does not prevent her from lying or swearing. I could not be prouder.

We are staying in this weekend. Maggie is grounded.*

In addition, maybe I will start watching my mouth.**
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*before you comment, please know I am only kidding about grounding her

**this is true.