Farther Down the Road

I recently learned about a little boy who has some of the same issues Maggie does. His family members are trying to connect us. I hope I can provide a little guidance or reassurance to this mom. It’s a hard road, especially in the beginning, and it would be great to extend a hand to help someone navigate the steepest parts – but only if she wants it.

Many a hand was offered to me along the way. The problem is, though they were all well meaning, not all of those hands were helpful. When I turned to someone who did not help, it made things more difficult. Often it was easier to go it alone than to find out I grabbed onto the wrong hand. Of course that means sometimes I passed up hands that really would have been helpful, and slogged through on my own unnecessarily. Eventually you find out those who really do have helpful hands outstretched are always there. If you miss them the first time, they will happily reach out to you again. And one day the sun rises and you realize maybe you don’t need the help, even the good help, because you are ON IT and know what you are doing.

Thinking about this boy makes me remember Maggie’s first two years. They were hell. We didn’t know if she was going to survive. She was in the hospital more than she was out. I had to learn a new vocabulary and medical procedures, and deal with the emotional, financial, social and other effects for me and the rest of the family. Also, I still had to deal with the boys; Eddie and Tim were 5 and 3 when Maggie was born. Looking back now, I realize those boys kept my feet on the ground and probably kept me sane.

Thinking about this also makes me appreciate how far she has come from then and, despite the setbacks and drama, what an amazing life she leads and the amazing life I have led because of her.