Friday, June 26, 2009

Is there a problem here?

A while back, someone asked how Maggie tells me if there is a problem or if something is hurting her. Specifically they wanted to know if her talker had a button or buttons for that. The answer is yes, but no. (Don’t you hate that?) The talker does have several buttons to describe various problems, but that is not how Maggie tells me. The way she communicates these issues depends on the specific problem. Physical problems, like pain, are communicated differently than physical needs such as hunger or environmental and entertainment needs. Technical issues with the talker present another challenge entirely.
If Maggie has a physical problem, I just know. I cannot really explain it, any more than any other mom can explain why they understand the different cries of their newborns. You just know. It might take a while for me to understand exactly what the physical problem is, but I am like a detective zeroing in until I figure it out. It is not just mother’s intuition, though. Anyone who spends any time with Maggie can read her cues easily when it is a physical problem. Her entire affect changes. I may be faster at figuring out the precise problem, but she does manage to communicate the existence of a problem.
For physical needs, she tends to use the communication device. She has only recently started using her “I’m hungry” button, which she follows up with “Can I have breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack.” That amazes me because she always uses the right meal that corresponds with the time of day. Remember, she eats exactly the same thing every two hours, so there is no reason to differentiate, but she has figured that out with her own innate sense of time. Her newest trick is the “I have to go to the bathroom” when she needs a diaper. That is very important and it will help her as an adult. For now, it is a way to communicate and a way to get attention. We can finish a diapering session and just get her back in the chair and strapped in and she will hit “I have to go to the bathroom”. I just look and say “NO! You don’t.” That is cause for uproarious laughter by her.
It is more difficult when the problem is technical rather than physical. For example, her communication device can be glitchy, programmed incorrectly or just have a loose connection causing it to work improperly. She cannot use it to communicate those problems if it is not working. For one reason or another, I may not realize there is a problem right away. In those cases, Maggie starts smashing the buttons and pounding on the tray until she gets my attention. Inevitably I will say,” Is there a problem here?” If I catch on soon enough she will smile, but if it has taken too long to respond, she just looks wild-eyed and keeps slamming the tray. I say,” hold up there Tiger, I can fix this.”
If she doesn’t like the music we are listening to or the book we are reading, she just slams her fist down – her sign for “NO!” over and over and over again. Generally, we will let her do this about ten times before we innocently say, “Oh, I’m sorry do you want something else?” That is another cause for laughter. If she doesn’t cut it out, I tell her to stop shouting and let us fix things. If it is bad enough I walk away, I do not want to reward that behavior. I figure slamming her fist down loudly is the equivalent of another kid screaming to get what she wants. When she stops, I fix it.
I am glad that she uses both high and low tech to convey her message. If she is completely technology dependent, she is out of luck when it is on the fritz, or mom forgets to charge it or some such thing. Her yes/no signs, affect, temper and laughter are always present and never need charging.

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