One Man's Ceiling...

It is rare that I stop and say a quick prayer of Thanksgiving for Maggie’s circumstances. Do not get me wrong, there have been numerous close calls and I am always very thankful they work out for the best. IN addition, I do realize that caring for Maggie has made me a better person and I am thankful for that as well. However, Maggie’s circumstances have never been something for which I was thankful. That changed a little this week.

I met a woman about my age that has a severely disabled sister. The sister is 49 years old and is cared for at home by her aging but capable mother without any help. The mom does not want any help and has devoted her life to caring for her disabled daughter. The woman I met said that her sister cannot do anything like Maggie can. She does not have any communication (except her mother always understands what she wants/needs), does not have any activities, etc.

I realized then that Maggie would be in exactly the same boat if she were born a generation earlier. IN fact, there is almost now questions that Maggie would not have survived if she were born even a few years earlier. It is not the cerebral palsy, but the several other complicated medical issues with which she was born. I told the woman, Maggie could not do anything either, but they started working with her when she was just a few months old. I did not understand the purpose of many of the things they did in those early days, but I went along because Maggie seemed to enjoy it. I understand now that all those toys and activities were building blocks for Maggie to use to develop skills for communication, positioning, etc.

I am thankful that Maggie was born in 1994 and not 1960. I am thankful she was born in a big city so close to the cutting edge medical care she needed (and still needs), and that she received therapy from dedicated talented professionals who worked together and separately to give Maggie a better life. Moreover, while the passage of time generally means advancement in technology, I find myself thankful that t she was not born now when many of these programs are disappearing under the budget axe.

I am thankful that the great school program that she is part of exists in San Francisco and her great teachers, from Pre-K to High school believed in her and helped her learn. I am thankful there is a place for her in the world and that people get to spend time with and enjoy her sense of humor. I am especially thankful for the nursing help I have because I could not do for one week what that mother has done for 49 years.

I still wish Maggie were a typical teenager giving me fits for her behavior in typical ways, not for the way she behaves when her diaper is being changed. I wish I did not have the insight I do to realize how lucky she is. But I do and she is. And that makes me thankful.