The Good, the true, and the Beautiful

A couple of weeks ago I flew to Southern California to attend the funeral of Leonard White. He was 89 years old and led an extraordinary life. My reason for attending was to pay my respects to him, his wife and three daughters who I have known for over 20 years. His daughter Clare is my sister-in-law, married to my husband’s brother. I went because it is the “right thing” to do. However, I heard something that day that stayed with me and, as is often the case, doing the “right thing” was more “right” for me than anyone else.

Leonard’s daughter Theresa spoke lovingly of her father and his insistence that his three daughters be independent women – teaching them to change the oil in their cars was one of the many ways he did that. She spoke also of his strong faith that framed his life. He did not just talk the talk, but he walked the walk and quietly helped many people throughout his life.

All of those things are lovely, of course. But there is something else. The philosophy he taught his daughters sticks with me. Theresa said her dad always taught them to look for “the good, the true and the beautiful” in any situation. It is easy, of course, to find the bad, false and ugly; finding the good the true and the beautiful might take a little more effort, but there is great benefit to be realized.

What an amazing thing to instill in your children. I cannot get that out of my head. I found myself researching the phrase to figure out its origin. There are books with that title, and someone referred to their high school teacher in the 50’s instilling that, but I could not determine where it came from. It does not matter. It is something we should all do.

Though I never heard that particular phrase before Leonard’s funeral, I like to think that has been my approach to Maggie. Not all the time, and not every day, but more often than not I see the good the true and the beautiful in a situation that screams the opposite. And the rewards have been amazing.

When I arrived home from my one-day trip to Southern California, I was exhausted. I left the house at 5:30 AM, flew down there, attended the funeral and reception and flew home arriving at about 9:00 PM. Tim, my 19-year-old son, picked me up at the airport that night and I told him about looking for “the good, the true and the beautiful.” I also told him how impressed I was with the concept and what a positive thing that was to instill in children. As I dozed in the car, I told him to pretend I said that to him every day while he was growing up. Retroactive parenting could work, right?

For the past three weeks, I have been thinking about this phrase and trying to come up with something clever to convey the message. It does not need anything clever. It is simple and perfect.

Just look for the good the true and the beautiful. You will find it.

Thanks, Leonard.