Sunday, November 20, 2011
Home again home again, jiggity jig
Maggie is home and fine. We came home Saturday around noon. There was no reason to stay. There was really nothing from which to recover. After all that it was a bit of a non event. The highlight of the stay was a visit from Tim on Friday evening. He climbed right in bed with Maggie carefully moving tubes and wires.
For the past 18 months we have lived under a cloud. Maggie had a life threatening condition. Maybe it had been there a long time, maybe it was newly formed. It was a time bomb and was going to effect her life. It certainly explained her continuous difficulties and symptoms that would not go away. We waited and waited for something to happen, but gathering all the needed specialists took months. Finally we had a game plan, but then the surgeon declined to get involved. Back to square one, a little more bruised and frightened and more than a little angry.
We found other surgeons who proposed a minimally invasive procedure that might help. We jumped at it. We knew it might not work, but we had to give her every chance. I worried that we were going to cause more harm than good. I worried that it would not work. I worried that we would get even worse news. I worried that we were playing with fire. I fretted and wondered but decided to proceed.
Everything was arranged around this surgery. We arranged it to happen after our German visitors left because that was just too much of a cultural exchange. Once we had a date, everything was focused on the weekend. Though he has gone every year since I've known him, Steve declined tickets to the Big Game (Cal/Stanford for those of you not in the Bay Area). I declined a couple of invitations to things so we could focus on Maggie. Of course we canceled the school bus for this week so Maggie could recover from this delicate procedure.
The procedure was Friday. They went in and were done in 40 minutes. The condition did not exist. There was nothing to fix. I guess that's good news, but her symptoms will not improve because this problem is not the cause. The doctors who declined to help her any more made that decision on erroneous information. All that anguish and anger were for nothing. I am more than a little irritated.
It's Thanksgiving week and I am trying very hard to focus on the grateful part of this story. I am very grateful that Maggie does not have this condition. I am very grateful for the surgeons at Stanford who were willing to go in and try to fix it and let us know it wasn't even there. I guess I'm grateful to know who I can depend on when the going gets tough and who will walk away.
I'm also grateful that it rained so hard last night and Steve didn't mind watching the Big Game from the living room while he folded laundry. I'm grateful for the uninterrupted sleep I got Saturday afternoon and evening even though I missed the two events.. And even though it's too late to arrange for the bus this week, I am grateful that Maggie can go to school on Monday and Tuesday.
Mostly I'm grateful that it is over and Maggie is fine and that black cloud that has been hanging over her head for 18 months is finally moving on. Or was never there.
I'm grateful the worst thing to come out of this surgery is frustration.