Friday, May 9, 2014

Changes big and small

There have been so many changes n my life in the past few months since we lost Maggie. Everything changed. Everything.  The biggest change is , of course, losing her. That's the one everyone is concerned with and rightfully so. It outweighs all the others 100 fold. But there are other things, dozens of them, some big and some small  and each little change is a constant reminder of the big change. .

Some of the biggest changes are noise and schedule. My house was a hotbed of activity when Maggie was here.There were nurses coming and going, oxygen deliveries, diaper and food deliveries, socal workers, teachers bus drivers and any number of other people we would see on any given day. All of that is gone now and the house is very quiet.  The change to my schedule is huge. Before I was like a tether ball. I could not go very far and had to get things down in a very tight time frame so I could get back here to help with Maggie. Now I can go whenever and wherever I want,  and for now all I want to do is stay home. Ironic, I know.

There are a million little changes too. I just came across two of them. Garbage and laundry.

Today is Friday which means today is garbage day. I just went downstairs to put the now empty garbage and recycling cans back in their place and marveled at the changes. It used to be we had so much garbage we had a double sized can that was constantly overflowing and we received nasty notes from the garbage company and/or city nearly every week. A couple of weeks ago I had to call the garbage company and request a smaller can because we have about one bag a week instead of the 20 we used to have. I just stood there looking at that little empty black can that was just as empty before they arrived as it was afterward.


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As I walked way from the garbage I headed into the laundry room. It's a force of habit. Maggie generated 2 to 3 loads of laundry a day so I made it a habit to throw a load in whenever I was downstairs. We needed the machine to be going constantly to keep up  Now, I have one or two loads a week, about a 90% cut. . When I entered the laundry room today, there really wasn't anything to wash.

Having less garbage and laundry isn't a bad thing, of course, It's just two examples of changes in my life that leave me scratching my head and wondering what to do with all the time that I suddenly have. 

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