I had one of those dreams last night. You know the type. You are trying and trying to get somewhere or get to something and no matter what you cannot get there. Last night it was a bus at the top of a very steep hill. I was slogging up the hill so so slowly and would get pulled off the street to do various tasks. I would hurry through those only to found myself back on the hill trying to get to the top in super slow motion.
I suppose that means I am searching for unattainable goals or something. Shrug. Who knows. Who really cares. I can tell you for sure that when I have these dreams I wake up more tired than I was before I went to bed.
But last night was different. On one of my many attempts to get up the hill a woman (whom I have known since the 5th grade) appeared and asked why I had to get to that bus. I could not answer her. She suggested I take a different road because Maggie was waiting for me. I ran down the other road that was flat and easy to travel and started running fast, so excited to find Maggie.
Then I woke up.
And she was still gone.
And I was so sad all over again.
But I can't quite shake it. I was working so hard to get something I didn't really want or need when, at least in my dream, something I really wanted was - or seemed to be - so much easier to get. And what is the significance of my childhood friend's sudden appearance. Someone is trying to tell me something? Something or someone from my past will lead me where I want to go? But reality may prevent me from getting it?
Maggie is actually not in my dreams very often. Perhaps because she is constantly on my mind, my sub conscious gives me a break. When she is there, she is smiling and happy and I take comfort in that.
I loved the feeling I had in the dream when I was running toward where she was. And hated the feeling when I awoke.