I give you grief.

Like half of America (plus 200,000) I am not happy that Donald Trump was elected President.  As election night progressed and his victory looked inevitable, I had to go lie down in the dark. For the 24 hours after I refused to look at any media, missed speeches and insights because I just couldn't handle it. My husband was a little worried about me because I would only watch the Hallmark Channel.

 Then on Thursday, I got up and faced the new America. I am still not happy, but I am an American and this is my country. I will not change my attitude toward the civil rights of my fellow Americans, those who immigrate to this country, or the environment because of the person in power. In fact that will only steel my resolve.  It is a call to action. 

I am now seeing articles describing the "grief" of many Americans about this election. I recognize I had a strong emotional reaction to this election, but I bristle at the use of the word "grief" to describe it. Grief is different, grief permeates and eats away at you. Grief is lonely. Grief is powerless. 

Though I have been living with grief for the past 33 months, and have tried to define it through my writing and thinking and any other way I could,  I realized I never really looked up the word. Here is the dictionary definition:

grief

ɡrēf/

noun

1. deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death.

   "she was overcome with grief"

   synonyms:

   sorrow, misery, sadness, anguish, pain, distress, heartache, heartbreak, agony, torment,affliction, suffering, woe, desolation, dejection, despair; More

   • informal

     trouble or annoyance.

     "they won't give you any grief in the next few days"

     synonyms:

     trouble, annoyance, bother, irritation, vexation, harassment;

It seems, then, that my bristling is unfair. Grief is not limited to the deep sorrow caused by someone's death, it is ANY deep sorrow "especially" that caused by someones death.

So to those of you "grieving," you have my sympathy. I sincerely hope this is the worst sorrow you ever experience.

Just remember, you are not powerless. You have the power to change this. It might take four years, but you have power. 

Those who are grieving after a death cannot do anything to change the situation. If there was anything we could DO we would, but it is impossible. We are helpless to change the outcome. We can work through our grief and hopefully come out the other side, but we cannot bring back our loved ones. 

Unlike the loss that comes from a death, however, you are not helpless. You can DO something about this. If you don't want a Trump president DO something. Work for change and maybe, just maybe, LISTEN and try to understand those who voted for Trump, because they were clearly ignored for far too long. They are not all racists and misogynists, and name calling will not effect the change you want.

I've lived with grief for a long time now and if you want that word to describe this, it's all yours. I literally give you "grief."

Perhaps what we need a new word to describe the particular deep sorrow that follows a death, because I guarantee you, it is very different than this.