Happiness

It is early, but I am wide awake. I've had two cups of coffee, thrown the frisbee for the dog and read several chapters of a book. Steve is still.asleep. Now I am listening to the birds song and the wind blow through the trees. And there are a lot of trees.

I am in Graeagle, California, a place of unbelievable beauty.  We arrived yesterday at our rented cabin filled with kitschy decor  - lots of bears and moose. It is exactly what we need.

Thus is the calm before the storm. But it is a happy storm approaching.

My son Eddie is getting married on Saturday. His bride, Grace, has really been part of the family for years, the wedding just makes it official. But a wedding is first and foremost a celebration and that is exactly what this wedding will be.

Friends and family start arriving today and keep coming over the next 40 hours or so. I am smiling just thinking about it.

I think how much fun Maggie would have at this wedding and I miss her, but it doesn't make me sad.  I have learned that missing her is different from sadness and grief.  I smile thinking of her joy and just wish she was here. I have also learned to recognize and respect emotions as they come. And this is a good one.

I believe this is called Happiness. I am happy that Grace will be my daughter in law. I am happy that my son is happy. I am looking forward to seeing Tim as Best Man. I am looking forward to the wedding itself.

Steve and I are so proud and happy and somewhat in shock that this moment has arrived. In our minds Eddie is still about 4 years old bossing everyone around.

I wish everyone could be here to share in this happiness, even if it is not on the same level as the mother of the groom. I do wish Maggie was here. I always do. She would probably be happier than me. 

And that is very happy indeed.

This beautiful engagement photo was taken by Grace's mom Kim. It is timeless.