Planning what?

We decided to take a short road trip. Just the three of us, Maggie, Steve and I. The boys are off to school so they're not invited. We have not taken Maggie anywhere overnight in at least two years. She's either been too sick or it's been too much trouble to organize. But this weekend is different. Maggie has been healthy - complicated, but healthy. It's time to give it a try.


These plans were made about a month ago, shortly after we learned that our nursing agency was abandoning Maggie as a patient. They gave us 30 days, which ends tomorrow. Hence, tonight is the last nursing shift. Since we weren't going to have nursing anyway and I was going to be up all night every night for the rest of my life, might as well go somewhere. I can miss out on sleep anywhere. Since then we have been working with golden Gate Regional Center to find another way to handle the nursing. Of course it means thousands of dollars and a ton of work for me, but at least I can sleep at night. We have nurses starting under the new system on Sunday. That still leaves 36 hours without nursing, so we planned the trip. We have learned to squeeze alot of entertainment into very short periods of time.


We're leaving at 6am tomorrow, when the night nurse leaves. Or at least we are supposed to. As if on cue, Maggie's having some trouble today and I believe I will be spending the day at UCSF Urgent care. I cold take her to the ER right now, but I know from expericnce that they will send us over to wait for urgent care to open. (Perhaps it should be - NOT THAT URGENT care. ) You may think I'm inattentive typing this while I'm on alert for a dash to the hospital. But I have learned. Thousands of days in the hospital have taught me when to observe and when to rush. Relax. We are in observation mode and I can see her from here. The osygen is on and she's improving, so this may be nothing - but I suspect she's developing pneumonia. Pneumonia is serious and Maggie has had it at least 50 times. At least. Every single time is scary, though.

You know the fear doesn't change. The experience of handling emergency after emergency teaches us how to handle a lot of things, and people often marvel at our ability to deal with these crises. We don't have a choice, so we do what we have to. Experience has also taught me that observation mode can change in a heartbeat. So we are always scared.


My antenna is up and plans for our mini vacation are up in the air. Maybe I'm wrong and we will go after all. Maybe I'm not and she'll be admitted. If that's the case I hope we at least get a room with a view.