Safe at First

There was a new nurse orienting here the other day. She is a good and conscientious nurse and fits easily into the rhythm of our house. I wonder if she will come back. Maggie’s constant need for medical intervention scared her. She was not sure she is up to the level of care Maggie requires. That is part of what makes her a good nurse. It’s a conundrum.

Maggie was doing very well that day; it was a “normal” Maggie day. She was at her “baseline.” Maggie’s baseline means she needs a lot of care. It is constant. Figuring out when it is emergent and when it’s just “Maggie” takes time. She sounds like she’s going to choke to death half the time, but she’s not. To the untrained individual it is scary. To me it is mundane.

For the first couple of hours of the shift I did everything, so that the nurse could watch and learn. After a while, I backed off and let her do it, but I was never more than 15 feet away. If someone is really going to learn, they have to do it on their own; but if she needed help, I was right there. I never even got in the shower that day. The nurse asked all the right questions and handled things very well. She and Maggie were getting along and laughing and I heard her say a couple of times, “Maggie, be nice to me or I won’t come be able to come back and work with you.” The pitch of her voice was just a touch too high. I have learned. This is a message for me, not for Maggie. The nurse was overwhelmed.

Of course, I look like the most uncaring beast in the world. I am sitting 10 feet away at my computer not even getting up. I knew everything was well under control, and that the nurse was doing a good job. Jumping in when I wasn’t needed would only increase the nurse’s stress level. Finally, after several minutes I went in there to reassure her. I told the nurse that I panic all the time, often when it’s nothing. If I am not freaked out, she can take that as a message that this is Maggie’s baseline. It seemed to calm her down. She told me that another patient frightened her at first but she is now able to take everything in stride. That was a good sign. She thinks she can get used to this.

Therefore, our fingers are crossed. If she comes back that is great. Next time I might even take a shower. Or venture out to the grocery store. Eventually I will have the freedom to come and go easily.

Of course, that is all dependent on the nurse getting use to Maggie’s baseline. If Maggie really gets sick and her care increases, which happens all the time, she’ll be outside the baseline. Those of you who follow baseball know, that means you’re out.