Maggie can be a wild girl at times. Yesterday was one of those times. I am never sure what sets her off, but once it starts you know you are in for a long afternoon/evening. She is not upset or anything. In fact, she thinks it is funny. It is not. She kicks, scratches and carries on when we are trying to change or feed her. Ignoring her means she will pull on her trach or, if she is lying in bed, start ripping her diaper apart. She wants attentions, but when you give it to her she scratches. It is a trying situation.
Generally, these outbursts are not directed at me. It has happened, certainly, but I do not put up with it. I just grab her hand, tell her not to scratch, finish whatever she needs and walk away. If she grabs her trach I simply hold her arm, but I do not talk to her. It is all business. She seems to respond or more likely, she just gives up because she is not eliciting the desired effect. That is not true 100% of the time, but it works a lot.
Maggie’s afternoon nurse takes a completely different tack, one that is far less successful, but rather entertaining. The nurse is in her 70’s and speaks perfect English with an accent. (She is a Filipina) She has been here since Maggie was a baby and these two love each other. This nurse is the most frequent target of this behavior. Perhaps because of the way she handles it.
I work just outside of Maggie’s room. I can hear everything that goes on in there but I do not get involved unless they need me or Maggie is actually calling me. I listen and I am aware, but I would get nothing done if I engaged with the two of them all afternoon. The nurse needs help lifting, diapering and handling Maggie, which I do. Yesterday Maggie arrived from school already worked up. In fact she was acting out at school too, something she never does.
The nurse, Fely, was scratched right away. I heard “Maggie why are you scratching me. I love you and I take care of you, it is not good behavior to scratch.” I can tell Maggie is laughing. Then, lots of kicking of the side of the bed followed by a high pitched, “Maggie, Maggie Maggie, why are you acting so. I want to take care of you but you are making this very difficult.” Maggie is still laughing.
Mom enters. “Maggie cut it out. And Fely, do not talk to her; she is playing a game with you. It is not a nice game.” Maggie is compliant for about 30 seconds. We put Maggie in the chair. Fely puts a bandage on the scratch (a bit overdramatic, but that’s cool). I sit back down. Maggie is kicking the footplates on her chair and trying to arch back, but she is laughing like crazy. I can see her from my desk. Fely starts in again. (and the accent makes it here) “Maggie I am your nurse and I want to care for you but you are having bad behavior.” Maggie reaches out to scratch her again, but fortunately hits the band aid Fely has just placed on her arm. Fely’s pitch gets even higher, “ Maggie Maggie Maggie, why are you scratching me?”
Maggie’s laugh gets louder. Mom’s patience grows thinner.
I said let’s set up her talker, She needs something to do and she will keep doing this as long as she is getting the attention she wants from it. We do that. The nurse continues the chatter. I roll my eyes. Maggie gets her talker set up and pushes several buttons to make a sentence.
“Fely, I am good”
I stifle a laugh. Fely, in her accent says “Baloney”
Maggie laughs her head off. Then “Fely I am good, Fely”
Fely: “good girls do not scratch their nurses.”
Maggie laughs again. I am not interfering but thinking “let it go, already”
Maggie clears her talker and makes a new sentence: “Fely is good.”
I look up and Maggie is beaming at Fely, who is also smiling and says. “Thank you Maggie.’
They worked it out on their own.
Great post. I admire you -- your patience, your quietness, your humor. And Maggie, at least as you describe her, cracks me up!
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