Thursday, June 22, 2017

Remembering the unforgettable

Today is the "Day of Remembrance" at UCSF Benioff Children's hospital. This is to remember the children of UCSF/BCH who passed away. This is my second year going. It is a sad, sweet program to honor those children, from tiny preemies, to cancer victims and everyone else who lost their fight.

I am bringing this picture of Maggie and her friend Tyre. This is from their "prom" date. Prom is in quotes because Tyre was in the hospital and did not get to go. Maggie and I went to the hospital beforehand so they could have some time together. His mom had him all dressed up to match Maggie's dress and he had flowers at the ready. Tyre was a ladies man. Just take a look at the way he is looking at Maggie.

Tyre passed away about a year after Maggie did, and then Tyre's mom passed away shortly after that. I feel like it is my duty - and honor - to remember Tyre today.

And Maggie is at the forefront of my mind and my heart, today and always.

I remember him. I remember her. It's not hard to do. They were both unforgettable.

I salute all the children and all their families who remember them everyday.

Thursday, June 8, 2017


It is early, but I am wide awake. I've had two cups of coffee, thrown the frisbee for the dog and read several chapters of a book. Steve is still.asleep. Now I am listening to the birds song and the wind blow through the trees. And there are a lot of trees.
I am in Graeagle, California, a place of unbelievable beauty.  We arrived yesterday at our rented cabin filled with kitschy decor  - lots of bears and moose. It is exactly what we need.
Thus is the calm before the storm. But it is a happy storm approaching.
My son Eddie is getting married on Saturday. His bride, Grace, has really been part of the family for years, the wedding just makes it official. But a wedding is first and foremost a celebration and that is exactly what this wedding will be.
Friends and family start arriving today and keep coming over the next 40 hours or so. I am smiling just thinking about it.
I think how much fun Maggie would have at this wedding and I miss her, but it doesn't make me sad.  I have learned that missing her is different from sadness and grief.  I smile thinking of her joy and just wish she was here. I have also learned to recognize and respect emotions as they come. And this is a good one.
I believe this is called Happiness. I am happy that Grace will be my daughter in law. I am happy that my son is happy. I am looking forward to seeing Tim as Best Man. I am looking forward to the wedding itself.
Steve and I are so proud and happy and somewhat in shock that this moment has arrived. In our minds Eddie is still about 4 years old bossing everyone around.
I wish everyone could be here to share in this happiness, even if it is not on the same level as the mother of the groom. I do wish Maggie was here. I always do. She would probably be happier than me. 
And that is very happy indeed.

This beautiful engagement photo was taken by Grace's mom Kim. It is timeless.