Shooting stars

 The first few weeks after Maggie passed away were absolutely crazy. There was the service to plan and attend, visitors by the dozens, cards arriving every day, phone calls etc. I've written many thank you notes and have many more to go. Please know I appreciate whatever you did for us, and eventually I will formally acknowledge that. I find the energy for those only sporadically. The hubbub has tapered off at this point.

Now, it's quiet. Very quiet. 

We still receive cards in the mail, and I have to say I treasure every single one. They are all sitting in a basket in my dining room that is overflowing with cards and love.

 As I drove up the other day I noticed a manila envelope on the front porch. I opened it to find a bound copy of the screenplay to the movie "Jack"  autographed by Robin Williams, who starred in the movie back in 1996.  The screenplay was a gift from my friend Joanne. Though it was very cool, I was initially puzzled by it. "Jack" is the story of a boy with a rare condition that causes his body to age four times faster than it should. He is physically an old man by the time he graduates from high school. Her card indicted that she had marked a couple of passages in the book that made her think of Maggie. When I read them I had to agree and I want to share those with you now. The passages are lovely, but so much cooler in the screenplay format that I am including that as well.


                                            Woodruff (Jack's teacher)
... Did you ever see  shooting star Jack? Oh, it's wonderful. It passes quickly, but when it's here it lights up the whole sky. Most beautiful thing you'd ever see... It's such a beautiful sight that the other stars actually stop and watch it. So spectacular that people wish upon shooting stars. And they're very rare, quite rare. You almost never see them. But I did. I saw one...

His eyes hold on Jack.  Jack's eyes gaze off.

                                                     Jack
        I just want to be a regular star.

                                                 Woodruff
        Jack, you're not regular at all, you're spectacular

Then later in the play Jack, who is physically a 72 yer old man, is giving the valedictory address at his high school graduation.

                                                      Jack
As these final days wear down, we think of times forgotten and we pray for new beginnings. And some of us worry about our future. What am I going to do? Where am I going to be in 10 years?  But I say, let us not worry...

Woodruff stands, proud of his student

                                                      Jack
...Because in the end, none of us have very long on this earth. Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky, when the stars are strung across the velvety night, when a shooting star streaks across the blackness turning night into day, make a wish and think of me.  Make your lives spectacular.
                      (a beat)
I know I did.

Thank you Joanne. This meant more to me than you can know.

From Angelina with love.

My Uncle Jack Casey passed away the other night. He was a great guy and I am sorry he's gone. He was 91 years old, and he lived every single one of them. He was still driving and and going to work right up until he suffered a stroke in December.

I come from a large Irish American family. Jack was one of seven kids. One died in infancy but the other 6 lived long busy lives producing 32 children between them. With his passing, my mother is the sole survivor of those siblings. That is hard to believe because each personality was so distinct and such a part of my life, I can't imagine they are all gone. What a reunion must be going on in heaven now!

Jack was the patriarch, the host of the family reunions, the teller of family stories and the keeper of family history. Many of us heard the stories multiple times, some only once or twice. Once you heard them, though, you didn't forget them. Thanks to Jack, my kids know about my great grand father Michael Casey as well as their own great grand father (my grandfather) John Casey and their contributions to San Francisco and to our family. That is a tremendous gift for which I am ever grateful.

Uncle Jack also had a great sense of humor. When I was a kid I was just a little bit darker skinned than all of my fair Irish cousins. There were several blonds, a few redheads and many brunettes. Even the brunettes had the fair Irish skin, though. Except me. I had dark hair, dark eyes and eyebrows, and skin of a more olive complexion. Because of this my Uncle Jack thought I looked Italian and always called me Angelina Baciagalupi.

And I always answered to it.

The other day my mom and I went to see him in the hospital. We knew from his kids that the end was near and wanted to visit. My mom was at his bedside and though he was weak and half asleep,  it was clear that he recognized her and was happy to see her.  I was next.  I wondered if he would know who I was. (He was Uncle Jack to a LOT of people). As I leaned over to kiss him, I remembered what would set me apart and said,

"Hi Uncle Jack, it's me. Angelina Baciagalupi."

His face reacted immediately. My cousin Alice, his youngest daughter said," Well THAT brought a smile." Alice didn't know the reference because she is younger than me. The whole Angelina thing was done by the time I was about 10 and she was too young to remember. I pulled that out of the deepest recesses of my childhood memories. Besides, even if she was old enough to remember,  I like to think that was something just between Jack and me.

It probably wasn't necessary. Uncle Jack knew exactly who was who and what was what until he drew his last breath. But getting that last smile from my Uncle Jack, a guy who was always smiling, made my day.

Godspeed Uncle Jack. Thanks for everything.



Nobody laughed harder at Jack's stories than Jack himself.

Jack's obituary in the SF Chronicle is  here

Cinco de Madre

Happy day after Mother's Day. I hope all the mothers out there were treated like queens. We had a "Cinco de Madre" party here. My mom and two sisters and their families came over along with my father in law and a nephew from the other side Rather than the usual family fare, I had a taco/tostada bar for Mothers Day lunch. It was fun. Five of my nephews were here (ages 15-23) and they consumed vast amounts of food.  Maggie enjoyed all the company.

The boys watched the Giants game while they ate and when that game was over switched to the Oakland A's game. All of us are Giants fans and tolerate but don't really follow the A's. The only exception to this is my nephew Jack, who is 15. He has always been an A's fan and proudly stands out among all the cousins

My favorite image of yesterday had nothing to do with my mother or with being a mother. Rather it is an image of  Jack and came at the end of the A's game. The A's pitcher, Dallas Braden, had a perfect game going. By the end of the game all of us were in the room watching to see if he could pull it off. There weren't enough seats for everyone and several of us were standing. Jack had the leather recliner, the best seat in the room. After the first out in the 9th he was on the edge of his seat. After the second out he was standing up in front of his chair staring at the television. As the pitcher prepared to face the last batter, Jack looked like a proud father. When the perfect game was complete, Jack was grinning ear to ear. The man stands by his team and thoroughly enjoyed his moment in a room full of Giants fans.

The weekend was a nice break after the medical tests on Friday. We have discovered a downside of allowing doctors to put cameras into you body to see what's going on. Sometimes they find problems. We wanted answers to Maggie's repeated symptoms. Be careful what you wish for. We have the answers and we don't like them. Maggie will need surgery to repair a fistula (opening) that has developed between her lungs and esophagus. Not sure yet what exactly is entailed, but it will not be fun for her, or for any of us, that's for sure. This is not a new problem, because we have been fighting these symptoms for months, but now that we know it's there it has to be fixed. More news as it happens. 

Carla's coming!

It's been a couple of days - and thanks to those of you who have missed Maggie and me. Everything is cool here. We're just spinning that hamster wheel as fast as we can. It's been appointments, meetings, skittish dog and contractors. Brisco is all recovered from his encounter with the raccoon, but he's a little freaked out and we've kept him pretty close by.

This is an exciting day. Maggie has a visitor coming this afternoon. Her second cousin Carla is coming over. Carla is seven and her mom Moira and I are first cousins. Carla met Maggie at last year's family reunion and has been asking to visit ever since. She is fascinated with Maggie's communication device. We are looking forward to this. You might find this hard to believe, but Maggie doesn't have a lot of kids come over to visit. My friend's daughter Ann Marie likes to visit with Maggie and now Carla. Those two girls are definitely very high up in my book. Maggie's too.

Carla will be the first to see our new ceiling track lift system. It was installed over the last two days. It is a device that will carry Maggie from her bed to the shower and back again. It is suspended from the track installed on the ceiling. It will make our life easier and Maggie will be safer. Taking a shower will now be like a trip to Disneyland. We tried it out yesterday and Maggie thought it was hilarious. The contractor was delighted at her joy. I think he felt like he had done a good thing. He was right.

I can't wait for my nephew Jack to see it. Jack is the same age as Maggie. When he was little he often told me that we had the BEST toys in our house. That's because I would let the kids use 60cc syringes for squirt guns and other medical equipment we weren't using. Jack even tried Maggie's pulmo-vest, a device that goes on like a vest and vibrates to help clear secretions. Jack was the only one small enough back then to use that thing. He would put it on and try to talk but his voice would be all shaky. He's 14 now and already 6' tall, so that's no longer an option.

I asked the contractor yesterday what the weight limit was for the ceiling track. Maggie only weighs 61lbs, so I'm not too worried about it. Still it's good to know. Since this device is designed for an adult too, its capacity is more than we will even need. The limit is 440 lbs. Needless to say, it should last for quite a while.

Jack and the rest of the cousins will have a great time at the next family party. Carla can spread the word to the extended family, which seems to be about 1000 people.

Our reputation for having the BEST toys remains intact.