Never really thought about the term "Mixed Emotions" before February 15. I used the term, and really believed I understood it, but that understanding - like everything else in my life - is very different now. I know first hand that it is possible to experience several very strong emotions at once and none are particularly in control. Case in point: I thought we had the van sold over the weekend. I was sort of blindsided by the flood of emotions that raised. Literally all at once I was sad, happy, relieved, scared, angry, anxious, and sad again. The term "mixed emotions" took on a whole new layer of meaning.
As it turned out that buyer decided against the purchase so the van remains available. When that happened I was just disappointed. I want it to go, even though all of it brings up so much angst. The going will be angst ridden, but once it's gone I will be fine. I haven't pushed it very hard yet. If there is someone in this community who can make use of it, that would make me happy. I suppose those emotions will all return in a whoosh, but next time I won't be blindsided.
So if anyone needs a wheelchair van, or knows someone who does, call me! I can't be responsible for how I react, but I keep hearing tht everything is normal.
