Thomas

My neighbor died. He was a fixture in our neighborhood for over 20 years. His name was Thomas.

Thomas was a very kind man and a very gentle soul. I saw him several times a week for many years - more than I see most neighbors. He always greeted me warmly and wished me well. You couldn't help but smile after an encounter with Thomas. 

We all knew him. When my boys Eddie and Tim were little they would point him out if we were passing him in the car shouting, "THERE'S THOMAS!" and wave. He rarely waved back because he wasn't watching passing cars. He lived right where he was. If you saw him while walking, he always had a wave and a kind word. Thomas was homeless and mentally ill. And he was lovely and seemed very happy.

For the last several years, Thomas lived in the trees along Park Presidio and spent his days on Clement Street. When I would see him at 9th and Clement he greeted me like an old friend.  For many years before that he lived in Golden Gate Park off JFK Drive, right by 8th avenue. I know that because at one time he proudly showed me his "home" in the trees.

Thomas was a fixture in the park for many years. Maggie and I were also fixtures in the park and ran into him all the time. He would jump up when he saw her wheelchair coming and spout blessings and wonder and lovely things. He delighted Maggie and he loved Maggie - but then again he loved everyone.  I've seen him many times since Maggie died and could never bring myself to tell him. I didn't want to do anything to make him sad.  

We saw him all the time in the Park or at Safeway or just around the neighborhood. I tried to bring him a plate for Thanksgiving one year, but he was nowhere to be found. Tim tried to give him money one time, but Thomas refused it. He never asked for anything. He just spread joy. 

Once my sister Ellen and two of her kids came to the City for a jaunt to the Park with Maggie and me. Her son Jeff and Maggie were both 3 or 4 years old and her daughter Leigh was probably 7 or 8. As we approached the area that Thomas frequented, I wanted to give them a heads up. They live in the suburbs and and Thomas was part of the colorful tapestry that makes the City so interesting. It was very different for them and it was entirely possible that he might scare them. As we got closer I spied him on the bench and said, "OK guys, this guy knows Maggie and he is going to say hello. He is a very nice man but he acts different than most people." I barely had the words out of my mouth when Thomas saw us coming, jumped up in his tattered clothing, with his beard and dreadlocks and threw back his head in greeting saying something like. "Oh there she is, my friend, she is blessed and she is beautiful and I love her. Hello Hello Hello my friend."  Maggie gave him a big grin as she always did, and Leigh and Jeff looked wide eyed at the unusual man. They took it in stride, though and we went on about our day. 

A few months later Ellen was driving a bunch of Leigh's classmates on a field trip to the Park. As they neared the park she spied a homeless man (not Thomas) walking along and said, "Hey mom, isn't that Auntie Sally's friend?"  Her classmates were starting at her mouths agape wondering who in the world her Aunt Sally was. Thomas gave me street cred with the 3rd graders from Santa Rosa.

I learned of Thomas' passing from Eddie. He sent me the article linked below. Eddie lives 400 miles away now, and has for many years, but this hit him because Thomas was part of our life. I am so glad someone wrote this article and if you have time I encourage you to read the comments. Everyone had almost the same experiences that we did.  

The Richmond District might not be the sexiest or most exciting part of San Francisco, but when you read the kind comments, you will see that it is truly the heart of this City.  Here's the link: http://richmondsfblog.com/2016/10/27/thomas-resident-homeless-man-at-funston-clement-passed-away-wednesday-night/

Rest in Peace, Thomas. And thank you for so many years of kindness and love.  

Playing Catch

It is perfectly normal to go to the park to play catch with your daughter, but when we go we play catch WITH our daughter. And she loves it. Fortunately neither of us has ever failed to make a catch.

Swiss Misses

Steve took Maggie to the park and I'm supposed to be working on getting more things put away. I was doing just that when I received a call from Steve's cell. It wasn't him, though. It seems he dropped his phone in Golden Gate Park and four beautiful Swiss girls found it. They called the last missed call on it, which was from home. They told me where they were and I ran over to get it. I left the house so fast I didn't even think to bring a reward, but they would not hear of waiting for me to go get one. I told them the Swiss were heroes and they liked that quite a bit. Lovely young women and I am very grateful to them.

I'm sure Steve doesn't even know it's gone yet, because he would be completely freaked out and would have started retracing his steps immediately. It would be very very bad if he lost this phone, that's for sure.

Of course he will still have to answer to me for not picking up my call.

And I will insist on a reward.

Memorable Statue

We spend many a weekend in Golden Gate Park.  We almost always end up in the concourse a few blocks away. That’s where the bandshell , the DeYoung Museam, the Academy of Sciences and the Japanese Tea Garden are located. If we have the dog with us,  we hang out by the fountains and keep walking around. If we don’t, we generally head into either the museum or the Academy of Sciences, which houses the Aquarium.  

This statue of a man working a grape press is perched along the concourse and we walk by it every time. I remember seeing this statue when I was a little girl going to the park with my grandmother. It is just part of the backdrop of many of the days of my life. One day it took center stage. Steve didn’t know that or the feeling I get every time I pass that statue, until I told him on Sunday.

It goes back to 2007. That was a terrible year for us. My dad died in January and Maggie got very very sick in March.  We did not know if she was going to make it and they ultimately had to put the trach in. For the first several months following the trach placement, things were very very rocky for Maggie health wise.  We have only had to contact paramedics twice in Maggie life and both times were in the months after she received the trach.  

One of those 911 calls was when Maggie stopped breathing. It was the middle of the night and the nurse was yelling. We came running to find Maggie struggling. The trach was clogged. She stopped breathing. I changed the trach as fast as my fingers would allow and she still wasn’t breathing. Steve was on the phone to 911 and I was doing everything I knew how to bring her back. I quickly considered mouth to mouth, but I though no – that won’t work because of the trach. I just blew into the trach and after what seemed like a terrible delay, Maggie’s body responded like an engine sputtering to life.  

The paramedics arrived. In my state of confusion and eerie calm I told them it was ok now, she was breathing. I apologized for making them come. They were so young and so professional. The  paramedic  asked how long she was "down" and I said about 2 minutes.  He knelt next to me (I was sitting in the chair holding Maggie and holding her trach in place) looked me in the eye, and said, “you can’t just stop breathing and not check it out, we should take her to the hospital.” I was like a child being led through the darkness.  I just looked at him and nodded.  I said we have to tie the trach on first and tried to do it but my hands were shaking so badly I couldn’t make it work.  I remember being surprised at my shaking hands because I felt so completely calm. It was as though I was watching myself in a nightmare.

We got in the ambulance and the paramedic driving (who didn’t look old enough to have a drivers’ license) said.  “We are going in Code 1 but don’t let that worry you”. I told him I didn’t know what that meant and he said, “it means we are going lights and sirens.”  I nodded again.  They were taking care of me and Maggie at the same time.

It was a beautiful night with a full moon.  The hospital is just across Golden Gate Park.  I sat in the front of that ambulance. We went through the concourse and that statue was glimmering in the light of the moon, and then it turned red when the ambulance light fell on it.  I remember looking at the statue and feeling grounded. He was still working that press, turning that wheel as hard as ever.  If that statue was there this was real. But it felt surreal.  Everything was exactly where it’s supposed to be, everything looked amazingly  beautiful and I was sitting in the front of an ambulance not knowing if Maggie is going to be ok.  I was completely in the moment and it was a terrible moment.

Maggie  was ok, eventually. She had to stay in the hospital about two weeks after that. It was part of that terrible year and terrible time in her health history. I think, though it was also the turning point for her. She started getting stronger after that.  There are still setbacks, and there always will be, but I think the nightmare started wrapping up after that episode.

Even though I relive that terrible memory when I see that statue, it is ok.  I like that statue.  I feel like it brought me back to earth in a moment that could have gone either way.

 The irony that the man in the statue is making wine is not lost on me either. I raise a glass to him regularly.  

Go long!

Golden Gate Park is a large rectangle shaped park on the west side of San Francisco. It’s about 4 miles long and maybe ½ mile wide. All in all it is 1,017 acres of wonder. It covers a lot of real estate in San Francisco, which is only 46 square miles in size. We are lucky enough to live 1/2 block north of the park close to the eastern edge (in the picture that would be the top left corner of the park) and we are within walking distance of many of its most impressive attractions, including a world class museum, the Academy of Sciences and the Conservatory of Flowers and the beautiful gardens just to name a few. We do hang out at all those places, but Maggie's favorite place is someplace much more modest.


There is a walking path entrance to the park at the end of our street. However, in order to get to it you have to run for your life across Fulton Street with its four lanes of speeding cars. I will do that when I’m walking the dog, or when Maggie isn’t with us; but doing that daredevil move pushing a wheelchair seems less than prudent. Even if we are lucky enough to make it across Fulton alive there is no curb cut on the other side and we have to lift Maggie and her chair (approx 170lbs) onto a high sidewalk. Best to walk to the signal and do things safely.

There is a signal at 6th Avenue, just three blocks west. Many of you know that 6th avenue once went through and into the park, but vehicle access has been blocked for several years now. A nicely paved walking path opens up to a fully paved road after about 10 yards. The other end is also blocked so vehicles cannot access this area at all. This ½-block stretch of pavement is the best spot for roller skaters. They never have to worry about cars. On the weekend afternoons, this spot if filled with roller skaters racing about or doing tricks and jumps in the middle. They are fun to watch and people gather around the edges for the free show. The skaters take great care of their little spot; in fact, they bring brooms and clear away any leaves or branches. The pavement is always perfect and smooth.

Generally, when we walk through there early in the morning the skaters have not arrived yet. There might be a couple of skateboarders but the place is a nice wide expanse for the wheelchair. This is Maggie's favorite spot in the park. It is our favorite place to play catch with Maggie.

Just so you know, when I say "play catch with Maggie", I am not talking about throwing a ball to her. She could never catch it and the game would get old very quickly. No. I mean we play catch WITH Maggie.  Before you get on the horn to CPS, we are not tossing her about willy nilly. She is in her wheelchair and we shoot her back and forth between us. Each of us has to catch Maggie as she rolls by.
 Steve is better at it than I am, He can really get her chair to go a long way. I am a weakling and Maggie goes slower and less distance when I am pushing. Apparently, I push like a girl.

Even when her pathetic mother is pushing, though, MAGGIE LOVES THIS.

Even if you don't live next to someplace as cool as GOlden Gate Park, I hope all of you find that little stretch of pavement where you can roll free.

Flagging Maggie (with apologies to Flogging Molly)

We went for a walk in the park this morning. Eddie is home and he joined us - but he rode his bike while we strolled. It was a good thing he was there because we were about 4 blocks from home and I went to suction Maggie and realized we forgot the suction machine. That is a first for us. Eddie zipped home on his bike and was back in about five minutes. Crises averted.

I think we were so focused on Steve lashing the American Flag to Maggie's chair that we forgot the suction machine. Her understated patriotism brought a lot of smiles to passers by. Hope everyone is enjoying their 4th of July.

sorry I just edited - I hit post instead of spell check.

Accesible Rhododendrons

I decided to take the dog for a walk in Golden Gate Park before Maggie gets home from school. Once she is here time just slips away. Between the rain and the painters, it has been difficult to find any time before Maggie gets home; but I cannot let another day go by without getting him out and about. The painters finished the touch up stuff this morning and the sun is shining.


We wandered through Rhododendron Dell. If I was asked what flower makes me think of San Francisco, I would have to say Rhododendrons. My  mother has a huge bush in front of her house and many many other houses do as well. Not ours. We've tried, but we kill them over and over. It's a good thing, then, that we live so close to Rhododendron Dell. 

This part of the park has been undergoing renovation for months and months, but today we found the gate opened and in we went. There have been back ways to access it during construction, but I rarely did. Ten years ago and past this Dell was a spectacular place filled with rhododendron bushes. There were solid flowers of all colors for several acres. The trees and shrubs aged. When a huge storm hit several years ago a lot of them were wiped out, along with many trees that shaded the whole area. There are still a lot of Rhodos in there, but not like before. The workers have done a ton of work to allow it to return to its previous splendor. It will be fun watching to come back over the next few years; but even without the wall-to-wall flowers of yesteryear, it is still lovely back in there.

I was very happy to see how much work they did to make the whole area accessible to wheelchairs, too. Before it was unpaved paths, that worked all right when it was sunny and dry, but if it rained at all you could forget that whole area. Now it is not only paved but it is clearly marked with signs for wheelchairs including the degree of slope on the various paths. There is nothing worse than heading down a path or into an area and finding out it is a dead end for wheel chairs. Steep up or downgrades can effectively be a dead end so that information will be helpful to many. I do not really know what at 18% slope is, but I would figure it out pretty fast if it were too steep. Since there are loops to this area, you can easily find an alternate accessible path. I have never seen that information before and I think it is thoughtful and thorough to include it.

Not everyone will notice the accessibility and extra effort because it does not affect them and it blends in perfectly. Since I am always complaining about lack of accessibility, I thought it only fair to tip my hat when I see something working.

Monkey Monday

Monday.

Time to get back into the swing of things. The best way to to that is to have a strong cup of joe from my new Monkey cup. It's amazing -- I drink coffee and immediatlely start swinging from the scaffolding.

This weekend was great. Any weekend that starts out with a gift of a monkey mug can only be great. My sister Mary gave it to me because 1) we've had a rough go the past few weeks/months/years and 2) I love monkeys and chimps. You have to love the handle.

On Saturday we took Maggie to Golden Gate Park with Aunt Mary and made another visit to the Academy of Sciences. Sunday we went for a walk at Crissy Field. The weather was INCREDIBLE. There were a million people there and everyone had a smile on their face. Maggie pointed out the bridge for confused tourists (uhhh - it's RIGHT THERE!)  and posed in front of Alcatraz with Dad.

Saturday was #1 son's 22nd birthday. That is unbelievable to me. I know he had fun and I'm glad, but I miss the days of birthday parties with a bunch of little boys running an obstacle course or heading to the "Big Park" (the playgournd in Golden Gate park). Now the parties are different and I'm no longer invited. Ahh well. I'll just drink out of my Monkey cup and all will be well.

This week will see the completion of the house painting. It's 95% complete now and it looks fantastic! It has given us a renewed interest in things. I will post pics when the scaffolding is down.