All Hail to Thee

I attended St Rose Academy, a small Catholic girls high school. Those of you who have preconceived notions of the piety and reverence that went on in schools like this may be shocked to learn that it was a raucous good time. Those of you who attended similar schools will not be shocked.

St. Rose was in the most beautiful building. It was built as a school but resembled more of a grand mansion. The cornerstone of that building said 1904, but the school was in existence for 42 before this building was completed.An earlier building had been destroyed by fire. The place survived the 1906 earthquake and fire. Sadly, though it did not survive the 1989 earthquake. The building was so badly damaged in that quake that the girls then in attendance could not return. The building had to be razed. Classes were handled off site and the school closed for good in June 1990. It was the end of 130 year run. 

Geez, that means the youngest St. Rose girl is pushing 40. I don't know how that can be when I'm only 29.

If your mother attended St. Rose and you followed you were a "rosebud." There were always several in each class.Maggie will not get that chance (disabilities notwithstanding). With her feisty nature, she would have made an excellent St. Rose girl. I was not a rosebud because my mother went to Presentation High, another girls Catholic school. Presentation is gone too. In fact, many are closed, and it didn't take an earthquake. When I attended high school there were 10 Catholic girls high schools and 3 Catholic boys highs schools. Today some of those schools have merged into coed schools, but many have closed. Today there are 3 small girls schools,  2 small boys schools and 2 larger coed schools. (My boys attended one of these). Times and styles change.

Tonight, however we will take a quick trip into the past. There is a mini reunion of St. Rose girls for the Classes 1973 to 1978. One or more of the women organizing this event has the great idea of having some of the St. Rose women "adopt" or mentor girls from Immaculate Conception Academy (ICA), one of the three remaining girls schools. It's a great idea because if St. Rose was still around we would probably be contributing to an alumnae fund, so why not spread the sentiment. Whether people decide to join this cause or not, tonight should be a good time. It will be a ton of laughs.

 I might just roll up my skirt for old times sake. And I might not.  

Ready....GO!

Our weekends are generally low key, just hanging out with Maggie and heading to the park etc. Not this weekend. We were going every minute and generally in all different directions.

Maggie and Steve had a cultured weekend. On Saturday they went to the deYoung museum, usually one of Maggie’s favorite places. That was less than thrilling because the museum is preparing for the arrival of the King Tut exhibit next week and lots of things were in flux and not available for viewing. Bah! Undeterred, they spent Sunday morning at the watercolors exhibit at the Presidio Officers’ club. They both enjoyed that.

I did not join them on either jaunt for other, less culturally sophisticated reasons. On Saturday, Tim spent the morning looking for a job with mom as the driver. (Cannot spend time, energy, or money you do not have on parking when you are job hunting.) On Sunday, I met up with my high school girlfriends for 24 hours of eating, drinking, and talking each other’s ears off. We accomplished all three goals. We stayed in a hotel in Fisherman’s’ Wharf and ate in touristy places and had a ball.

When I returned after 24 hours away, Maggie was less than thrilled with me. Before I arrived on Monday morning, she was, according to Steve, acting like a pill. This girl is S P O I L E D and does not approve of any change in the program that is not previously approved by her. Mom is supposed to BE THERE in the morning. Dad and Tim are capable, but not acceptable, substitutes. She was happy to see me, but not happy with me.

In addition to all that, we had parties for two cousins graduating from high school (yay!) and another cousin leaving San Francisco after a year at USF. Saturday afternoon, Steve and Tim loaded up his stuff and drove to the East Bay where his parents (Steve’s brother and sister in law) were scheduled to arrive at the grandparents’ house. At the same time, I headed to the North Bay to my sister’s house to attend the first of the two graduation parties. Maggie stayed home with the nurse.

Monday afternoon after arriving back from time with my girlfriends, we headed to Oakland for the next graduation party. This time Steve, Tim and I went together. Again, Maggie stayed home with the nurse. She was not pleased. The combination of Memorial Day traffic and the large set of stairs at my sister’s house made that decision for us. We were not gone very long because the nurse who was here needs help with all the procedures for Maggie. That gave us a total of three hours to be gone, including 30 minutes of driving each way (without possible traffic delays).

I nagged Steve and Tim to get ready so we could maximize our three hours between procedures. I was pleasantly surprised that there was no traffic at all on the way over there. We arrived at 1:30. Interestingly, there were no cars in front of my sister’s house. Hmmm. I looked at Steve and Tim, those kind and patient members of my family I had rushed out the door and said, “Uhhh, it might start at 2.” We went in anyway (don’t you LOVE people who show up early to a party!) and helped with the last minute preparations. My sister and her family just laughed at us.

Of course, we still had to be home by 4 to help the nurse, so our time at the actual party was even shorter than originally planned. Mercifully, there was very little traffic on the way home too. After all that running around, I had to take a nap. The nurse left at eight and I just hung out with Maggie on the floor and tried to make up for lost time after barely seeing her over the weekend.

She forgave me. She always does.

Old (and I do mean OLD) friends

I have three close friends from my childhood, whom I’ve written about before. We have all known each other since we were little girls, 700 years ago. In fact, the connection goes back another generation as some of our parents also grew up together.

How is it that we could have stayed friends all these years through all of life’s ups and downs? Many other people I have known since childhood have drifted in and out of my life. What made the four of us stick together? Two of us went away to college in different cities and returned to the area at different times. We all had busy lives with kids and work. We settled down at different stages and our kids went to different schools at different times. Why has this worked?

Well, for one thing we know each other’s secrets. Keep your friends close and your old friends closer. Another is geography; we all stayed in the Bay Area. We live in four separate counties but easily within 20 miles of one another. Still, many other people fall into those categories but have drifted away over the years as lives change.

I think the biggest reason we have remained close friends is effort. All four of us have made the effort to remain in each other’s lives, no matter what differences there may be. Maggie is the youngest of all our kids by four or five years. When she was born and in the years since, these women have helped me in so many ways, often by taking me away for a few hours, putting a drink in my hand and reminding me of all the foibles of my youth until I laughed so hard I cried.

I was the last of the four to settle down. In the ten or so years after high school I went to college in Los Angeles, moved to Boston, came back to San Francisco for a while and then decided to go to law school and moved to Sacramento. I returned here for good in 1985.
In those same years the other three went to college, one going away for a short time but returning after a couple of years, and the other two staying put. Two of them, Nonie and Sharon got married within one week of each other in 1981, before I even started law school. By the time those weddings happened, though, Lori had been married about 5 years and had two girls, Jennifer and Julie. Lori was always the first to hit the “next stage.”

I remember playing with her baby daughter Jennifer in an apartment I had in San Francisco. She was maybe 8 or 10 months old. I remember it so clearly, because I was playing with the baby on the floor and not watching closely enough and Jennifer hit her head. Unhhh. That still gives me a sick feeling. Lori scooped up her baby and soothed her and me at the same time. She was calm and forgiving. She was a mom and even though I was not anywhere close to that myself, I was impressed. (For some reason she did not let me hold Jennifer again. Hmmmm.)

Apparently, there was not too much lasting damage to Jennifer. She grew up, became a teacher, got married and, as of three days ago, has two kids of her own. Her daughter Catalina (Lina for short) came home yesterday to meet her big brother Thomas. (When she reads this I will never get to hold her baby)

That means Lori is a grandmother twice over. Once again, she enters the next stage before the rest of us. Nonie, Sharon and I are very happy to call her grandma as often as possible. (Lori IS, after all, the oldest of the four of us.)

And though I’m nowhere close to that stage, I am once again impressed by Lori and the ease with which she moves into the next stage of life with gusto and shows all of us how easy it is. She is a fun grandma or “noni” as she is called. She is obviously completely smitten by and wrapped up in these grandchildren and we are happy for all of them.

She cannot shake us; we are those crazy friends of Noni’s that these children will make fun of for years to come.