Tree by Maggie

The tree is up and decorated. There was great debate between the Douglas Fir and the Noble Fir. I really like the fullness of the Douglas and Steve really like to be able to see the ornaments on the Noble. I let him choose and he went Douglas for me. Really, though, no matter what kind of tree we choose, I am always pleased once it's decorated.

It's generally a rather drawn out process taking perhaps three days to complete. The process includes   getting the tree, letting it sit in its stand drinking water for a day,  bringing it upstairs, cleaning up the trail of needles, putting on the lights, waiting for us to be together to put on the ornaments. We were going to decorate it Sunday night, but Tim didn't get home from work until almost 10PM.  So it waited another day. It was done last night and now I have to put the empty decoration boxes back downstairs. Hopefully that won't take me another day.

Putting on the ornaments and the other decorations is fun. Each ornament brings some memory or story or remembrance. We have an abundance of fishing ornaments that have been given to Steve over the years, several from the kids early years, a Santa wearing a Giants shirts and this year we received a nutcracker wearing a Giants uniform, which goes perfectly with our extensive nutcracker collection.

 Tim was intrigued by an ornament that said "to Sally from Joey" and wondered who "Joey" was. He thought he had stumbled on a great story, and  seemed disappointed when I said SHE was my secretary in about 1992.

Maggie helps too. Tim makes her hold the ornament or decoration and then point to where she wants it. It's a S L O W process but he is very patient with her. He makes he laugh which only slows things down further but certainly makes it more entertaining. After every successful placement he would say "tree by Maggie" and she loved it.

Here's a minute or so of their interaction. This had already been going on for several minutes before I turned on the camera. She wasn't being very cooperative making him do all the work, but he would have none of it.

May all your decorating be as fun!

Snoozing

Chillaxin with my bro. Ahhhh.

Hanging with my bro

I know I've posted the second picture before, but I don't care.

Tim came home from work quite worn out and still grabbed Maggie out of her chair to hang out and watch the olympics with her. She fell asleep. Once Oscar Pistorius ran, his race, Maggie didn't care about Track and Field any more.(see below)

Here they are about 15 years ago in almost the same pose - I just can't swear that they were watching the Olympics then. It was probably Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of something. 

Funny, Maggie has the exact same colors on, but in reverse.  

And because I cannot get over how very cool this is, here's South Africa's Oscar Pistorius who qualified for 400 meter semi final this morning.

A great day for disabled people and all people everywhere. 

Looking Back

My sister in law sent me an envelope full of pictures the other day. These were pictures she brought up for Maggie's birthday party and displayed on the table. There are several, all of which are good, but this one just melted my heart.

It's from 1998. Tim (age 8) is carrying Maggie (age 4) out to the dance floor at my niece's wedding. I love The proud look on Tim's face. I also love that Steve is letting Tim do it, but standing at the ready to support Maggie's head . I wonder if they danced like that.

This is Kelly's wedding in Helena, Montana in which Maggie was the flower girl. I've written about that before in Maggie World: Big Sky Invasion. Seems like yesterday, but Kelly and James are approaching their 12th anniversary and has three lovely daughters, all of whom are older than Maggie is in this picture.

Steve looks a lot younger than he does now, which is interesting because I haven't aged a bit.

Tempus fugit.

What's UP?

Tim is always quick to pull Maggie out of her chair and sit with her.

Maggie's chair holds her head in place very nicely. As soon as she gets out of her chair she tends to go into extension and her head goes straight back.

Tim just joins her and says, "What the Hell do you see up there?" That cracks Maggie up and I had to grab this shot.

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Happy Birthday Tim!

Today is Tim's 21st birthday. That is just a little bit mind boggling to me because it seems like yesterday he arrived in our lives. It is fascinating to me that my offspring can be adults while I have not aged. The wonders of Science!

Tim was born on Fathers Day. He was a few days late and I was more than ready to be done with the pregnancy. That morning I gave Steve two Father's Day presents, one from each child, because I assumed we would already have the baby by Fathers Day. As I handed the gifts over to him I said, "if this baby isn't here by midnight, you have to give one of those back". Charming, wasn't I. Tim did not let his father down, he arrived in time for the 10PM news.

When Tim was born something clicked in me. "I thought, OK, this is a FAMILY." I don't know why. Eddie was already two years old and we had been caring for him and doing all family things since he was born. But the arrival of child #2 was the end of the novelty of being a parent and the beginning of honest to God real life parenting. On the way home from the hospital I was completely overwhelmed with this thought. As we drove, we passed my old high school and other landmarks from my childhood. I was thinking - I had a whole life before I even knew Steve and now we have TWO KIDS!. Steve, not knowing what was going on in my head asked why I was so quiet. I looked at him wide eyed and said/shrieked:

"We have two children and I hardly know you."

(There is a slight possibility the hormones were at play there.) That phrase has become a staple in this house. If I ask Steve something mundane, e.g.if he wants mustard on his sandwich, he will sigh and say, "You hardly know me." It still makes both of us laugh.

Tim was a wild man as a baby. His favorite thing to do was to bang his head on the hardwood floor and then give a huge grin when I would rush over to stop him. He was big and brawny from the get go and he and Eddie were a hilarious pair. They still are.

When Maggie arrived, she and Tim formed an instant and lasting bond. He loved to hold her when she was little. I've put this picture up a few times, but it is my favorite.

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If he's here and watching the game or something, he will pull her out of her chair to sit with him. He talks about the strategy of baseball. Maggie is a great listener. If something goes wrong in the game, he tells her, That guy is a BUM and Maggie signs yes.

Maggie adores Tim. She adores Eddie too, but Tim is here and I get to see it more often. When he walk into the room she starts jumping around in her chair, even if he's just been upstairs for 20 minutes. He gives her advice about school and boys. She listens intently and then laughs in his face, as any little sister would. He gets s stern face and points at her and then she laughs so hard she almost stops breathing. By then he's laughing too.

Tim is the middle of the 3 kids and in many ways the anchor for the other two.  He is fiercely loyal to friends and family and absolutely hilarious to be around. He was here last night and left at 11:00 to ring in his birthday at midnight. It was off to a rousing start, but having to be at work at 7AM may have slowed things down a bit. Maybe I have aged a bit, because that is FINE with me.

Here he is in his white sport coat, circa 1962 and painting shorts as he heads out for what I'm sure was his very first beer* on his 21st birthday.

*oh, except for the one in his hand.

Oscar night

Like the rest of America we watched the Academy awards tonight. Tim took Maggie out of her chair and sat with her, making predictions and asking her opinion. Here they are putting their heads together.

They were Social network people and we, the old folk, were King Speech people. They disagreed with the Best Director who advised all to "listen to your mother."

Twenty Years

Today is my son Tim’s 20th birthday. It is hard to believe he is 20, standing on the threshold of his life. It is an age where everything is possible.

Twenty years ago, June 17th was on Father’s Day. I was 41 weeks pregnant and I had a two year old. I bought two father’s day presents for my husband, one from Eddie, the two year old, and one from the new baby that I expected to be about 10 days old at that point. On the morning of Fathers Day I gave both presents to my husband and said if this baby doesn’t come today, you have to give one back. Tim did not let either of us down, but arrived in time for the 10:00 news that night. He was a hilarious kid right from the get go. He used to entertain himself by banging his head against the hardwood floor and then grinning at us when we stopped him.

After Maggie arrived, it seemed there was always a health crisis for her on Tim’s birthday. She had to be rushed to the hospital and into surgery on his 4th birthday, (she was just 3 months old). Tim was oblivious. I told him in an upbeat voice that he and Eddie were invited to his cousin’s house because Auntie Ellen was having a birthday party for him. He was happy as a clam. I was not. I sat in the surgical waiting room feeling miserable. I can still remember that day as if it was yesterday. It was the day OJ Simpson made his “slow speed” getaway in the Ford Bronco. I sat there watching this bizarre story unfolding on television and worried about one child while I felt I was disappointing another.

When Maggie was not sick, we had some excellent birthday parties for Tim over the years. We were never the type to throw lavish parties and one up the other parents. No. With my boys and my husband, the parties were creative and entertaining. One year Tim had a track meet for several friends at Kezar stadium, another year Steve turned the back yard into an obstacle course and a dozen or so boys were put through their paces. (That might have been for Eddie, I can’t remember). The kids always had a huge amount of fun and went home tired and happy.

Many birthdays were spent together with his cousin Matt. That's the two of them in the picture a couple of years ago. They are just two days apart in age. Matt grew up in San Diego, and the June birthdays fell, just after school was out so several times we were in San Diego or they were up here. Ironically, now Matt lives and attends school in San Francisco and Tim is away at school. I invited Matt to dinner on his birthday but he had plans to watch the NBA playoffs with his buddies. We decided to make it tonight so I could fix a birthday dinner for someone even tough Tim is not home. Of course tonight is game 7 and Matt is a Lakers fan (which means he still has something to learn about being a San Franciscan.) I left him a message that we can reschedule if he wants – we shall see.

Now that he is 20 and living elsewhere, I am not as involved in his birthday. Of course, I will call him, and I sent gifts etc, but if there is a party, and I am willing to bet there is, I am not invited. That’s ok. He is a grown up now.

I just don’t know how that can be when I haven’t aged at all.

This little piggy went weee weee wwee wee all the way home

A certain young woman arrived from school with a broken foot plate on her wheelchair and a missing shoe and sock on the opposite foot. The shoe and sock were on the floor of the bus and the footplate was in the bag with her valentines. The screw was sheared in half. She has done this several times. I need to get a kryptonite screw to withstand the constant pressure and strength that is Maggie. I cannot even imagine how she does these things.

Here's a closeup

Unrelated photo. My son decided to take a dip in Lake Tahoe in January. That Lake is cold in the summer when you don't have to run through snow to get into it. Now the water temp has t be in the 30s, maybe 40 at most. Do you think he looks cold?

Enjoy your Friday evening folks.

because I must

As I wrote the other day, Maggies' brother Tim has a new job that requires him to wear a kilt. I would be remiss if I didn't post a picture.

What do I say when my almost 19 year old son looks better in a skirt than I do.

Ever since Maggie’s birthday party in March, we begin our morning listening to the "Maggie Mix" on the IPOD. This is a playlist of the songs from her party that were suggested by her girlfriends and cousin. We bought about 30 from ITunes and made the mix. Each partygoer received a double CD set as a party favor. It was a big hit.

On school days, the nurse does the morning routine for Maggie very early. Maggie is being dressed, changed, medicated, etc by 5:00AM or so. I come down about 6:30 and get report from the nurse. Often Maggie has gone back to sleep by then. There is still a lot to do to get her out of the house on time. Generally, I get as much stuff ready the night before as possible. However, several things have to be done at the last minute so that she will be on the right schedule for school. We have to start our “get out of the house” routine/race about 7:15 or 7:30. If she has fallen back to sleep, I let her do so for as long as possible.

My computer is in the dining room, just outside her bedroom door, so I can tend to her needs, suctioning etc. On the days she is asleep I work quietly until I hear her stirring – usually before 7:30. (Once in a great while I have to wake her.) She starts shaking the side rail on the bed to demand my attention. I try to finish whatever I am doing, buying a little time by saying “Just a minute Mag” “Let me finish this”… etc. When I hear things really start rocking, I know she has had enough. I better get in there and turn on the music.

We have to start at the beginning of the mix. It has to begin with the same song every morning. As soon as Maggie hears the beats of Beyonce’s “All the Single Ladies” she gets excited. I crank it up and we get ready to the sounds of pop music. Not my favorite, but tradition is tradition, even if it has only been 3 months.

We may have to adjust this routine a bit. Tim is home now and asleep just above the music player. He begins work at noon so he does not have to be up early. He has to adjust to the fact that he does not live with a bunch of college students any longer. I am sure the parents of the small children in the house next door are hoping that adjustment comes soon. But we have to adjust a bit to his different sleeping schedule too.

Considering I yelled at him to turn his music down before 10 last night, I guess fair’s fair.

Tim's Home

Maggie is delighted that her big brother Tim is back. He came home last week but basically just dumped his stuff, including at least 10 loads of laundry and left again after a couple of days. He’s back to stay now and that makes her H A P P Y.

I spent the last few days doing that giant mound of laundry. I told Tim I would wash and dry it and leave it for him to fold and put away. The pile of clean clothes piled on the futon in the laundry room is impressive. Fortunately, there’s a tv down there too. He can put in a movie and just sit there and fold.

Somehow, Tim has to find a job. That’s not going to be easy in this economy. He looked into a few things last week before he left and lots and lots of resumes have gone out on craigslist this week. Now that he’s back he’s going to go into some of those places and let them see his handsome face. These employers need to see that he is a big strong guy because the anonymity of the internet is not helping him. The jobs he is qualified for (at not quite 19 years of age) are limited and there’s a lot of competition out there. He did get one bite, but nothing definitive.

Fortunately, San Francisco is a tourist mecca and there’s always work in that industry. There’s competition to be selected, but there’s always work. Tim would do well in that industry. He is very affable and knows the City like a book.

If he doesn’t find something I will hire him to do fix-it jobs around here. Things like painting and stripping the deck. This stuff needs to be done, but are not priorities. I will not spend the money on them unless Tim needs work.

Maggie would love it if Tim worked for me because he would be around that much more. Those two have a special connection and always have. Maggie will say something on her talker and Tim will just look at her as if to say, Really? You going there with me now? She knows it’s coming and waits for it. He delays…and then delivers. She laughs her head off. They can spend hours doing that.

Hmmm. If he works for me, I’m paying by the job not by the hour.