Will they ever return?

It's Monday morning. It's a holiday for some - Maggie for one - but it still feels like Monday. There is a malaise in the air which is due in part to the sad finish to the 49ers season yesterday. We will marshall on. It's what we do.

We had an extremely busy weekend mostly dealing with issues involving Steve's Dad. Lots of logistics at play there. Last weekend was the same and though I promised Maggie a trip to the mall, it never materialized. That meant we HAD to go this weekend. Maggie really doesn't ask for much in the way of outings, so it's the least I can do. Saturday afternoon we were going to be moving my father in law's stuff, Sunday was the game (I didn't realize it started so late). If we were going to get a mall visit in, it had to be Saturday morning. One problem. Steve was using the van to take his dad out. We cannot fit two wheelchairs in the van. What to do?

I know. Easy peasy. We will take the bus. Steve could drop us off downtown on his way to get his dad. Maggie and I could hit the fancy malls downtown and take the bus home. The San Francisco Municipal Railway (Muni) is handicapped accessible. We have done it several times on the metro (trains) but had never tried the bus. I've seen others in chairs on the bus and know many of the buses are equipped with lifts. We can take any of four bus lines from downtown to here and have only a two block walk.  If one bus isn't accessible, the next one will be. We can do it! It will be an adventure.

It was.

We waited at a stop serviced by 3 of the 4 possible lines. (5, 21 and 31). I hoped for a 31 because it was not an electric trolley. Those trolley's are kind to the planet but are very jerky for the riders. First bus to appear was the 31. Wish granted! And it had a lift for the chair. This was going to be easy. As a bonus we had the nicest, most accommodating driver in the City. We're off!

Sort of.

The lift takes a few minutes to do and we were taking a while to get settled. I maneuvered past another wheelchair on the bus. That man was giving me directions on fitting past him. No problem. The driver had readied a spot for the chair, flipping up a seat to reveal a place to lock in. I got her chair into place and realized only then that the left brake was broken on her chair. Not GOOD. I tried to hold it in place with only one wheel locked but could not maneuver the straps. A kind passenger from the back of the bus came up and put a seat belt around her chair. I decided I would have to just stand behind her and hold the chair in place while holding on to keep from falling myself. Not good. And also not terribly effective. She wasn't rolling around the bus or anything. One wheel was locked and there was a seat belt, but she was pivoting around on the unlocked wheel with me trying to hold it steady. My wrist still hurts from that.

The driver stopped the bus and came back to lock her chair in better. I feared the broken brake would put us on the streets, but that was not a problem. There were giant tie downs, but I could not get them to move. Neither could the driver. Again, I thought we were out of luck.  Another passenger, a lady with two different shoes on, started giving the driver directions. Push that BUTTON, right THERE! He listened to her and voila! the tie downs unlocked and Maggie was secure. I thanked the driver and the lady and the man in the back and I sat down wiping sweat from my brow. Now we could have the regular adventure of riding a bus across the city, which is more than enough, believe me.

The man who originally helped me got up to disembark. He was getting off the back of the bus and the driver yelled at him to come up there. I watched warily. I thought if that guy didn't pay his fare or something I was going to do it for him. If he was going to get in trouble I was going to intervene. Not to worry. I heard the driver say "Thanks for your help before" and hand him something. I don't know if it was a pass for another bus ride or what.  As the guy walked past me I said "Thanks again" and he just nodded.  Nice moment.

I thanked the lady with the mismatched shoes as she left too. She just waved it off. Nice people on the sometimes rough 31 Balboa on Saturday at noon.

Maggie rides buses all the time and was non plussed by the entire thing. In fact she fell asleep while I sat on the edge of my chair for the entire 20 minute ride - made 30 minutes because of us.

Finally we arrived at our stop and I could not undo the tie downs. The driver said, "this is your stop." I said "I know, but she's stuck." I thought we were going to be like Charlie on the MTA and never return. (Listen to this great song below.) The driver readied the lift and then came back to help. At first he couldn't do it either. I longed for the mismatched shoe lady, but she was long gone. Suddenly the driver got it and Maggie was free.

 I went to get off, thanked everyone on the bus for their patience, thanked the driver and told him I needed a drink. He said, me too, but I can't for several hours yet. Fortunately, this is the store between the bus stop and our house. It's actually called "Drink Liquor." I didn't partake, but it's nice to know it's there.

I know I am spoiled having our van. I know there are hundreds of people who go through this every single and I am very very glad not to be one of them.

I am not used to relying on the kindness of strangers, but I had to on Saturday and the good people on Muni came through for me.

Here's Charlie and the MTA. I've been singing it all weekend.

Presidents and Waiters.

America is an amazing place. In the last 12 hours I've been equally inspired by the President of the United States and a waiter in Houston.  Talk about equal opportunity. The president promoted lofty ideals without specific ways to achieve them and the waiter demonstrated how to make it happen. 

Let's start with the President. We watched the inauguration this morning. The pomp and circumstance was beautiful and very moving. Maggie politely sat through the speech because her girls Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce were going to sing. She did seem to be listening to President Obama, though. Good thing, too, because it seemed to me that he was talking about Maggie and her peers. My favorite line was this:

We do not believe that in this country, freedom is reserved for the lucky, or happiness for the few. 

Maggie definitely has the happiness part pegged.  In fact, we should all strive to be as happy as she is. But her freedom is very limited by access issues, lack of tolerance, and so many other things.  There are places we cannot go because Maggie is not welcome or will not fit or makes people uncomfortable or whatever. Some of that is my doing. I simply cannot do all the things necessary to care for her and face the crowd at the same time. I stopped wishing for miracles long ago. Maggie is just Maggie and that's ok. But I would love it if we could live in a world in which (if she cannot be healthy and able bodied) Maggie can be free to go wherever she wants without difficulty and without judgement. 

The president did not mention how exactly we can accomplish that as a society.  But another excerpt from his speech gives a clue. ...we must be a source of hope to the poor, the sick, the marginalized, the victims of prejudice - not out of mere charity, but because peace in our time requires the constant advance of those principles that our common creed describes:  tolerance and opportunity; human dignity and justice. 

Apparently the waiter in Houston is already making it happen because his action preceded the President's speech by a day or so. 

Michael Garcia, a waiter in Houston,  refused to serve some people in his restaurant who moved tables to avoid sitting near a child with down syndrome and then followed with derogatory comments about the child. There was no doubt as to why they moved because they said, among other things: "special needs children need to be special someplace else." Even though they were regular customers, Mr. Garcia refused to serve them.  He put his job on the line but he did the right thing,  (see the whole story here or a million other sites http://www.myfoxboston.com/story/20637480/2013/01/21/waiter-refuses-to-serve-customer-who-insulted-down-syndrome-boy)

Michael Garcia, who did not lose his job,  is making it happen. He took a stand for tolerance and opportunity, justice and dignity. We all need to follow suit. 

Our country needs us.

_________________________

Here are the excerpts from President Obama's speech that seemed to be aimed at me and Maggie. 

We, the people, still believe that every citizen deserves a basic measure of security and dignity.  We must make the hard choices to reduce the cost of health care and the size of our deficit.  But we reject the belief that America must choose between caring for the generation that built this country and investing in the generation that will build its future.  For we remember the lessons of our past, when twilight years were spent in poverty, and parents of a child with a disability had nowhere to turn.  We do not believe that in this country, freedom is reserved for the lucky, or happiness for the few. 

…..

 And we must be a source of hope to the poor, the sick, the marginalized, the victims of prejudice - not out of mere charity, but because peace in our time requires the constant advance of those principles that our common creed describes:  tolerance and opportunity; human dignity and justice. 

Kindness of Strangers - really this time

Encounters with strangers are frequently very strange when Maggie is with me. People will say the oddest things. They always have the best of intentions but we have been on the receiving end of some bizarre encounters many of which I have shared here. Once is a while it's just nice and sweet, and that deserves to be shared too.

Maggie and I were leaving UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital the other day after visiting her friend. The Children's hospital is located on the 6th, 7th and 15th floors of the two hospital complex that makes up part of the medical center. It is a very confusing place to navigate. Only certain elevators go to certain floors and unless you know your way around, you poke your head out of an elevator wondering if you are in the right place. A new free standing Children's Hospital is under construction and will open in 2015, but until then newcomers to the Children's Hospital walk around lost and bewildered.

Getting an elevator with Maggie's giant chair is also quite a trick. We take up the place of about four people.  We were on the 6th floor and the first elevator looked pretty full. I said, "Thank, we'll wait for the next one." An older man said Nonsense and moved folks around so there was room for us. I thanked him. He and his wife (I presume) admired Maggie's talker and she gave them one of her winning smiles. We arrived at the first floor and Maggie and I got off and I saw them peer out in that familiar "Where are we?" look. The man said "How do we get back to Parnassus? (The name of the street the hospital is on). I said, "Follow us."

As we walked down the long hall toward the front of the medical center, they were behind us and I could hear them talking. The man said, "That baby is beautiful." I smiled to myself, glad that they were in the hospital for a happy reason instead of a sad one. I brought them outside through a different door they had entered. Now they were totally confused. The woman said, wait, we need to get our car on the third floor. She started to go back inside but I pointed across the street and said, the parking lot is over there and you go down to the third floor in the elevator over there.  She looked completely turned around but her husband had his bearings.

Maggie started to laugh uproariously and pointed at the parking lot mimicking me. The woman started to laugh then and said "She gets it and I don't."  Maggie laughed harder and reached her hand out for the woman. The lady held Maggie hand for a minute and melted. She asked Maggie how old she was and I responded for Maggie. The woman was smitten. Her husband looked at me and asked if Maggie was my daughter, I said "yes she is."

He looked straight at me and said, "She is terrific, You are really blessed."

It was so simple and so heartfelt that it was very touching. i just smiled and said, "yes, I am, Thank you very much."

I left to go to one set of parking lot elevators and sent them down to the other. As I waited for the next elevator I thought about that exchange. It was so sweet and the context made it more so. He was responding to Maggie specifically, not to the general situation of a girl in a wheelchair. If that man had walked up and said that out of the blue it probably would  have creeped me out, but I knew they had interacted with Maggie and that made it OK.

More than OK, it made it great.

Nice Wheels!

Little kids are hilarious. If you listen to what they say, you cannot help but laugh. I especially love to listen to kids ask their parent questions about Maggie.

After this many years of pushing her around in public I recognize the curious tilt of the head of a 3 year old seeing Maggie and her gear. If its possible and not obvious or intrusive, I try to hear what they have to say. Often it will be why is she in that chair? Or what happened to her? Moms will generally just tell them it’s a wheelchair and she can’t walk of something equally straightforward. Once in a while the adults response makes me cringe, but not usually. The kids questions never make me cringe. They are kids. They are learning. How will they learn if they don’t ask?

Last week Maggie and I walked all over the place doing errands. I didn’t want to take the car because all the people attending  the huge concert in Golden Gate Park were parking in my neighborhood. Any time saved by driving to do my errands would be used tenfold looking for parking upon our return.  We walked to the pharmacy, the grocery store and the bakery. There were a lot of bags hanging off the chair.

As we left the bakery, I saw a mom with two little boys, maybe three and four years old.  The little one looked at Maggie for a minute and then cocked his head. I slowed down because I knew he had questions. I wondered if it would be about Maggie, the computer attached to the front of the chair,  or all the bags hanging off the back  It was none of these. He  turned to his mom and announced loudly,

“Now that has a lot of wheels. There’s a front one and a back one and a front one and a back one.”

I tried not to laugh. It was a perfect observation . Maggie Schmaggie! Equipment? who cares? This baby had WHEELS! 

The mom’s response was equally perfect.  Without missing a beat she found a “teachable moment.” She said, “and how many is that?” He sighed and said in a quite exasperated manner,  “I don’t know.”  Mom:  “Well, count them.”  Boy (clearly tired of teachable moments):  “I already did, there’s a front one and a back one and a front one and a back one.”

I wanted to turn around and high five both mom and boy, but I did not even make eye contact. I did not want to spoil this perfect interaction.

Chance encounters

When you have a child with dramatic issues, people tend to approach you. Usually it's a very friendly hello or sweet smile. Sometimes it's not. (I've written before about some of the strangest encounters I've had.) It's just part of the whole package and you have to get used to it. It gets tiresome being "on" all the time, but there are certainly rewards. I had one of those encounters yesterday, and it turned out to be a wonderful surprise.

Maggie and I went to the Ferry building and walked along the Embarcadero enjoying the sun. We went to the fountain at Justin Herman plaza and I took Maggie's picture to continue our "Where in San Francisco is Carmen San Diego" series.

 There were two young girls playing behind Maggie and I waited a moment for them to get out of the shot. They were having so much fun I had to smile at the mom who was with them. She offered to take a picture with Maggie and I together and I said "no thanks, I just take pictures of her on our outings and post them on facebook to bug people."

She laughed and asked if I was from SF and I said yes. She told me she moved away 9 years ago and that she has a 12 year old a son in a wheelchair and wondered what it would be like to raise him here. I looked a little closer because I know a lot of  other kids in wheelchairs in SF and have since Maggie was born. I didn't recognize her. I asked where she moved to and she said Jacksonville Florida.  That's when the light went on. I remembered a family who moved to Florida  I said "I know you. You're August's mom." It clicked for her at the exact same moment and she said "is this Maggie?"

 Funny. we remembered the kids names but had to ask each other what our names were. That makes me smile.

It was a very chance meeting and it took us both by surprise. Ilene said she never says anything about her son to strangers and doesn't know why she said it to me. Perhaps she knew on some level that I was not a stranger.  She keeps in touch with another friend from here, but the time and distance and the realities of our lives caring for our kids has taken its toll on relationships for all of us. She was out here on vacation with her daughter while her husband stayed home with her son. I can certainly relate to that. Her husband is the author of  A Life Beyond Reason, which  I posted here a few months ago. (If you didn't read it then I recommend it now.)

It was funny to hear her trying to explain to her daughter, who was born in Florida,  how she knew this lady. Her daughter and friend were as sweet as can be and she took our picture with her mom's phone.

The whole thing was surreal, but great.  I reconnected with an old friend in person and then we found each other on facebook, instead of the other way around.

I'm glad we went down there yesterday.

Peeking around corners

Unfortunately snapping photos of children one doesn't know is frowned upon both by society and the mothers of said children.* I wish I could, though because the kids Maggie and I see when we are out and about are hilarious. The dynavox is the draw, of course. Most have seen kids in chairs before, but they haven't seen anyone talking like Maggie does.

The best are those between the ages of about 4 and maybe 9 years old. They have to be old enough to be cognizant of Maggie's differences, but not old enough to be annoying for staring. It varies.If they are too young Maggie is just ANOTHER new thing they are seeing and if they are old enough to know better than to stare at someone in public, it is annoying and I look at them disapprovingly. Of course they never see my carefully knitted brow because they are staring at Maggie. The middle ones - perfect.

Today we were in Borders book, which is a favorite destination. We can cruise all over the store and browse the books, cd's movies and other things. I will show Maggie our friend Grace Young's cookbooks, or the Junie B Jones collection (which she owns in its entirety.) Even though we have those book in our house, she find it hilarious to see them in the store. Of course the entire time we have a running commentary going. I am talking to her and she is answering on her dynavox.

There are children all over the place looking at the toys or calendars or the piles and piles of books. Maggie's Chair fits fine in there, but sometime getting around the displays is a bit tricky. I have to slow way down to navigate her chair. This is when I notice the kids most. They are holding an open book, but staring at Maggie. One kid saw me look at him and buried his head back in the book, only to lower it below his eyes. Another was looking through the shelves in a display case and a third glancing around a pole.  It was all I could do not to laugh. It is natural for them to be curious. If I meet their eye (which is rare) I say hello and tell them Maggie's name. Most are too shy to do anything.

Sometimes their mom/dad/whoever pulls them away to teach them not to stare. I can see the kid listening to the parent while keeping a watchful eye on Maggie. Other times there are older siblings trying to corral the younger ones. When i say something the older ones start asking questions. They are fascinated, know they shouldn't stare and use their younger sibling(s) to get themselves in a position to ask questions. I love those clever kids with the guts to speak up.

Ir's funny, but the same behavior from grownups or even older kids is not cute at all. It feels creepy. I don't know where that line is but I know when it's been crossed.  Until it's crossed, though, I think its delightful.

Just so you know, there's no harm in just saying hello. Even if you are over 9. Maggie would love the break from my incessant chattering I'm sure

* I did not take this picture, just found it on the internet. Some other stranger likely did it.

Small Things

Steve and I stole away on Friday night for a quick bite. We don't go out very often and we always have a great time. I really needed to get out of this house but didn't have the drive to come up with any thing. I jumped at Steve's suggestion that we go out to dinner.

We went to a little Mexican place we like. It's always crowded and very ALIVE. Every inch of that small restaurant is decorated with brightly colored paint, pictures or other things. You can't stay down in the dumps for long if you eat there. Here's Steve posing by the beers and you can see some of the decor in the background.

In addition to the decorations on the walls, every chair has a name painted on the back. The names are random, there will be Jordan or Ann next to a Julio or Mike. It's just another part of the energy of the place.

I signed in for us and we waited about 20 minutes for a table, wandering into a nearby bookstore for a few minutes. We came back just a minute before they guy said "Sally, for 2" I said "right here." He held out my chair and I had to point this out to him (see picture). He smiled and said I'd love to tell you that was on purpose, but we are a little busy to match the chairs with the customers.

My phone rang during dinner. I always keep it on the table in case the nurse calls about Maggie. It wasn't the nurse, but a number I didn't recognize. I don't know why I answered it, but I did. The woman on the other end said "Sally?" I (checked the chair and) said YES?
This is Anna Romo.

Anna Romo is the lady who was so nice to Maggie and gave her the bread the other day. (see two posts from earlier this week) She received Maggie's thank you note and the note I enclosed with a copy of the post and a business type card.

I motioned to Steve and ran outside where I could hear her and she very sweetly thanked me for the note and told me how Maggie is a blessing in our life.  She invited us to visit her at Boudin Bakery again, and I promised to do so.

I came back to the table and told my confused husband that it was Anna Romo. (It was Steve's idea that Maggie write the note). I said, she got Maggie's note and was very happy about it. We smiled at each other and Steve said simply "Small Things."

What he meant by that was what a difference small things makes in someones life. Anna showed a small kindness to Maggie, Maggie sent a small note of thanks,  Anna made a phone call to thank us for that and to invite us to visit again. Three small things that add up to a lot.  And my chair had my name on it!

Everyone feels good. Everyone wins.

Remember the small things. They really do matter.

 

A Note of Thanks

We thought it was only right that Maggie should write a thank you note for the kindness shown to her by the lady at Boudin Bakery. I wanted it to be from Maggie, not from me. She's 16 years old and can do this on her own. We don't have the software at home to translate things she says on her talker to print, so I asked her teacher if Maggie could do it at school. She wrote it yesterday and they decorated it with glitter and sent it home today after it dried.

I had to scan the typed message inside the card. There is no question that Maggie wrote it.

I'm delivering it this afternoon.

the Little Engine that Could

Yesterday was election day. Like everyone else, I won some and lost some. Everyone who votes has a favorite for the big offices, but the smaller ones often slip by unnoticed unless you have an interest in that particular area. I know all the school board members because that effects Maggie, but I really don’t have any idea or opinion on the community college board. That doesn’t mean it’s any less important, it’s not. I just focus my interest more narrowly.

I did make a point to vote for a specific individual in an area that doesn’t usually get my focus. I made a appoint to find someone running for the BART Board. BART is the Bay Area Rapid Transit. I never heard of him before Monday and I voted for him on Tuesday. I can’t even find out if he won, because it’s just not making the news. 

Maggie had the day off school on Monday. We went out in the morning to run some errands and went to Safeway to pick up a few groceries.  Generally, I don’t take Maggie to go grocery shopping because it’s so difficult to push the chair and pull the cart at the same time.  Monday was different, though. What turned out to be the final  World Series game was going to start at 4:30 and the stores are packed in the hours leading up to the game  We had to get it done early that day and Maggie had to come with me.  

There were very few available carts.  I had to leave Maggie and walk way into the cart storage area to retrieve one. She was about 15 feet away from me in a relatively small area just in front of the entrance to the store. Maggie was not alone. There was one guy trying to get folks to sign petitions to get MORE initiatives on the next ballot (please!) and a nun collecting donations of food for the elderly and there was my new best friend passing out flyers and asking folks to vote for him. Come to think of it, he may have said the candidate was his friend, I’m not even sure. It was difficult to navigate through these three plus the shoppers coming and going out of the store and everyone was just sort of staring at me.  The candidate (or his friend) stopped what he was doing and said, “can I push this cart in for you.” I just smiled and said, “No thanks. Unless you want to wander through the store with me I have to figure it out.” I threaded my train into the store and smiled.

I appreciate the offer, really I do. It was a bit of an awkward moment and he bothered to notice and try to improve it. That gave me the opportunity to stay upbeat and keep control of the situation. As I walked into the store I made a mental note of the candidates name and decided right then to vote for him. He wants to be on the governing board for Rapid Transit?  Sure! Obviously he has a knack for keeping things moving. 

update - he did NOT win. 

Hats Off!

One of the many difficulties with dressing Maggie is finding things that will work with her wheelchair. I've mentioned before the difficulty of wearing skirts because of the wheelchair straps at her hips which come up through the legs. It is just not acceptable for a girl to sit like that with a skirt on, even if you didn't go to Catholic school.

Another problem is the headrest on the chair. It is a complicated two part system that does a great job keeping her head in the right position, but wreaks havoc with any hat she might want to wear.  Brims are OUT. The hat gets knocked forward or completely off her head. Baseball hats work for a few minutes, but Maggie's constant movement and rubbing against the headrest makes the hat slowly knock down over her eyes. It's a problem when it's cold or particularly sunny (not a problem this summer). We can't keep her head warm or shade her face from the sun. 

Lately, though., Maggie has found success from a varied collection of hats. They may not be completely practical, but they have been entertaining. 

The easiest fix for the cold, of course is hooded sweatshirts. The hood stays on and keeps her warm. Of course Maggie discovered the string for the hood and has a great time wearing it like this.

 It is a little dangerous when we're driving and she can't get out of it, though.

Undeterred, however, Maggie recently acquired other head wear that stays on her head and she can't get herself into danger wearing either. In fact, she looks quite frightening in both - except for the HUGE smile she's wearing.

This hat was only a loaner. She wore it for a few minutes at the giants game the other Day. I believe this was a giveaway at a giants game earlier in the season. We posted this on facebook and my cousin Dennis said Maggie has to attend all the games and wear this hat because she brings them luck. He may be right. They haven't won since the day she wore it. 

But the best hat of all may be this gift from Nathan T. Nate is the son of some friends and recently traveled to Ireland with an organized group of kids around his age. (14?) He purchased this lovely pink viking hat that says "Ireland" across the front. Maggie is quite the imposing looking marauder, don't you think? When she's wearing this we should really use the full Irish name, Mary Margaret McDonald.

Thanks Nate, Now we can keep her warm, safe, and a little scary. That's perfect. 10th grade is tough. Even for a sweet little Irish lass.

Soft Serve

This short summer school day is still throwing me off and there are only eight school days left. It appears I will not adjust after all. The mornings are not the problem, we seem to have figured that out, but now I’m having trouble timing my errands with the bus arrival in the afternoon. Especially when he’s early (grrrr) as he was yesterday. Given our ambitious undertaking yesterday, missing the afternoon bus by 30 seconds was pretty impressive. (Remember that Maggie has a nurse with her so she’s safe.)

Yesterday Tim and I headed to the DMV, which is always a treat, and perhaps even more so on the Monday after a three day weekend. I had to replace the stolen/lost/disappearing handicapped placard and Tim needed a copy of his clean driving record to show potential employers. We arrived around 11 and stood in line #1 to obtain our numbers which would show us how long we had to wait.


The guy behind the counter in line #1 was a big gruff looking fellow. He looked at my completed paperwork for the placard and asked “Is Mary (Maggie) with you today?” “No,” I responded, “she’s in school this morning.” He just harrumphed and gave me the #. It crossed my mind that he was indicating I would have a problem but it was clearly not something he was going to discuss with me. His job was to distribute the numbers. I could deal with my paperwork problem AFTER I waited in line. My number was B033 and Tim’s was G099, which means nothing until you saw they were on B002 and G060 at the time. Ok, time to get comfy. Tim, wasting no time, went across to the market/deli and applied for a job while he waited.

The DMV is only about 5 minutes from here, but at noon it became clear that I wasn’t going to make it. Maggie’s bus comes at 12:30 and there were still 17 people ahead of me in the “B” line. Tim’s line was moving fine, though. He was about two people away. I got back into line #1 and told Mr. Gruff I had to go meet her bus and asked if I could do this by mail. He said yes, but it would take awhile. I then asked for an appointment to come back but he said the first appointment was mid-July. He then looked at me straight on and said, “how old is Mary?” I said, “she’s 15 – and she needs total care, so I have to be there when she gets off the bus.” Mr. Gruff suddenly softened and said “follow me”. He took me right up to a window and told the woman to wait on me next.


Yes, that’s right. Special treatment! At the DMV! By a scary looking guy that I thought was messing with me. I got the placard before Tim got his driving record. I felt pretty good about the world and vowed to stop misinterpreting people.

Also I changed Mr. Gruff’s name to Mr. Softy.