Just a little off the top, Doc.

Another random memory.

As I was brushing Maggie's hair this morning I noticed the large spot on the back of her head where the hair has broken off from the constant movement of her head against the headrest. It's been there for years. It's not a bald spot exactly, but the hair just breaks off after it gets around 1/4 inch long.  With the configuration of the new headrest (which still needs some work) there is a chance her head won't rub and maybe, just maybe, her hair will be able to grow back there. It doesn't really matter, no one can see it; but it would be nice.

Thinking about that made me remember the 50+ times Maggie had surgery to repair or replace the shunt in her head and would come out of surgery with half of her head shaved. It was hard to see, but like everything else we got used to it. It takes about 6 weeks for the hair to come back in to cover the spot fully and then it would not be noticeable.  (As a matter of fact, the spot I'm describing on the back of her head looks like she's about 7 weeks out from surgery.)

This was just a small rather inconsequential part of the drama we went though all the time. When your child is headed for brain surgery, the last thing you care about is her hair, at least the first 25 times. Then you get more practical.

In 1998, when Maggie four years old, she was scheduled to be the flower girl in her cousin Kelly's wedding. We were all heading to Montana for the wedding. Then, as now, we were never sure until the day we left if Maggie would be stable enough to make any trip or outing and my family learned to go with the flow. It would have taken a lot for us to cancel this trip, though.

About a month before the scheduled trip, Maggie's shunt failed again. She needed surgery. Sometimes these things came in clusters and she might have two or three surgeries in a couple of weeks. We crossed our fingers that it would work the first time so we could make the trip.

We were in pro-op going through all her history and allergies etc. The anesthesiologist was there as was the neurosurgery resident and the surgical nurse. When they were wrapping up their questions they asked if we had any questions. Steve and I had been through this many times and were very familiar with the procedure. He was surprised, then, when I said, "Yes, I do."

They all looked at me and I asked, "Who is in charge of shaving her head." The resident looked at me puzzled and said, "I am."  I looked right at him and said - "Do not shave any more hair that is absolutely necessary. She has to be in a wedding in a month and I don't want the pictures to be wrecked." Steve rolled his eyes and the anesthesiologist and the nurse both started to laugh. The resident looked more puzzled than ever. Very few parents give beauty instructions to a brain surgeon; but there is a possibility I am not like other people.

Maggie came out of surgery like a champ,  the procedure worked the first time and we were able to make the trip. And my fashion instructions worked too. Maggie had just about a two inch bald spot that never showed in any pictures.

Sometimes it pays to be practical. 

Big Sky Invasion

In 1998, when she was four years old Maggie was a flower girl in her cousin’s wedding. My niece Kelly had dozens of little girls from which to choose, and she chose Maggie. There have been many kindnesses afforded to Maggie in her life, but I cannot think of another gesture that has touched me more than this did. Many brides would not be so selfless, but then Kelly was not your average bride as you can see from the picture. (Admittedly, Maggie looks a bit freaked out in this picture, but this was before the widespread availability of the delete button and digital cameras, so you took what you got.) Despite the face, Maggie had a great time and loved being the center of attention. In fact, that day may have set the stage for Maggie demanding the spotlight evermore.

The wedding was in Helena, Montana where Kelly went to college and still lives with her husband James. They now have three daughters. That means my brother Ed is a grandfather, and for some reason that still cracks me up. (He is not that much older than I am.) He also happens to relish the role and he adores those girls.

Ed’s three granddaughters, Sydney (9), Jaymee (7) and Katie (5) are the only members of the “next” generation. Ed and his wife Dianne live in Los Angeles, 1200 miles from their granddaughters, but there is a lot of travelling back and forth between LA and Montana and they see them quite often. Those trips do not often include San Francisco so we are limited to pictures and stories. Last night the two oldest made a rare appearance in San Francisco and we were able to hang out. It was a blast.

Sydney and Jaymee are big enough now that they get to visit their grandparents without mom and dad. They flew down with their aunt (my niece Tootsa) and will fly back with their grandmother. Ed and Dianne are taking them everywhere and the kids are having a great time. Yesterday they drove the 400 miles to San Francisco so they could visit my mom, their great grandmother. It is a whirlwind visit. Today they are heading back via Monterey so the girls can go to the aquarium.

I invited everyone over here last night and we ordered pizza and caught up. Those girls were hilarious. They synced the Wii that Steve and I have not been able to figure out and made Mii people for us. They entertained us with song and dance and hung out with Maggie. I told them Maggie likes “All the Single Ladies” and when we played the song, they immediately started dancing with her. Maggie was beside herself with joy. I do not usually capture moments like this.

These girls are their mother's daughters, that's for sure. Seems this family is a source of some great moments in Maggie’s life.

Have a great trip back to LA and then to Montana, ladies. Please come again and bring your sister!