TheRe is Room in this big beautiful woRld for some many diffeRent types of people. TheRe aRe men and women, they aRe tall and shoRt, fat and thin, happy and sad. They aRe black and white and bRown and yellow and Red and many other coloRs. They live in diffeRent areas, pRactice differeRnt Religions and cultuRes and go about theiR day in dRamatically diffeRent ways.
Some of the diffeRences matteR to us a great deal and otheRs do not. Religion and cultuRal diffeRences have been foddeR for many a waR, but I am unawaRe of stRife based on height - except peRhaps in middle school oR on the basketball couRt. Still, even the ones that don't matteR can be the basis for huRt and angeR. Name calling and mockeRy happens among all groups.
Some of the mockeRy is so bad that society has stepped in and set limits on ceRtain things. It is not cool to make fun of someone foR being shoRt or fat and decent people will put a stop to it in a social setting. Commenting on otheR diffeRences are less toleRated, (though it still happens faR too often.) The most obvious of those aRe Race and gendeR. TheRe aRe ceRtain woRds and attitudes which, if shaRed in a social setting, will be immediately coRRected. Some woRrds are so rRprehensible they are not spoken even when coRRecting someone. They aRe RefeRRed to only by the fiRst letteR.
FoR the past seveRal yeaRs I have been tRying to convince anyone who Reads this that the "R" woRd is equally Reprehensible and needs to be Retired. In fact, I am no longer going to even type out the entiRe word. If you can't figuRe it out, you can find it on the link at the bottom of this post.
Some folks aRe Resistant to this believing that if they use the "R" woRd to mean stupid, oR dumb oR asinine, they aRe not doing any haRm. They aRe wRong. the woRd is faR moRe poweRful than they aRe. It is packed with hatRed and discRimination and needs to go.
TheRe aRe so many ways to descRibe people or situations. TRy using another woRd, almost ANY otheR woRd because the R word has to go.
Today is the day. Take the pledge not to use the woRd and help be paRt of the solution instead of paRt of the pRoblem. I uRge you to go http://www.r-word.org/ and take the pledge.
I know there are
those who believe we should be quiet and hope Ann Coulter goes away. I know there are those who say we should rise
above it, that we should not lower ourselves to her level. I know there
are those that believe giving her the attention she craves is playing into her
hand. I know also that there are those saying to stop talking about it because this
detracts from the “real issues.”
I know all of this. However, I wonder, do they know ME?
Seems doubtful; if they did, they would know that I cannot and will not be
quiet. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.
First, this has nothing to do with the election. In 11 days, one of two men will be elected
President of the United States. Then the election will be over. But in 12, 13,
15 and 100 days my daughter will still be disabled and mean spirited people
will still mock her, some because Ann Coulter says it’s ok. This is as real an
issue as there can be for my daughter and her peers.
I have the same right
to freedom of speech that Ann Coulter has and, as a bonus, I happen to have manners
and decency as well. I think that gives me a slight edge and I plan to continue
to speak out against the use of this word and defend a group of people who are
not always able to defend themselves. That
is precisely the reason she picks on this particular group, she is relying on
the fact that they are powerless to rise up against her.
She is wrong. The
best response came from a John Franklin Stephens, a man with intellectual
disabilities in the form of an open letter to Ms. Coulter. To my knowledge, she has not responded directly
to this letter. In addition, those
disabled individuals who are not as articulate or able as Mr. Stephens have
brothers and sisters, mothers and father, grandparents and cousins, nieces and nephews, teachers
and classmates and friends and neighbors who will stand up and speak for them.
I am proud to count myself among them.
In the days since her infamous tweet, wherein she referred to the President of the United States as a "retard," Ann Coulter has
repeatedly defended her use of this word. Part of her rationale: she did not
use it to describe a person with “mental challenges’ (her words) rather she
used it in what she considers the proper way, which is to describe a “loser.” She
puts this word in the same category as moron or imbecile or other such words
that once had a clinical definition.
I will not stand by and allow Ann Coulter- of all people - to redefine when it is
ok to use the “R” word just so she can sell more books to other mean spirited
people who want to read what she has to say. Perhaps in 100 years this word
will be so archaic as to be acceptable, but it is not today. This word is hurtful and offensive and
everyone knows it. Even Ann Coulter knows it but she is trying to change the
conversation to make this into something other than her purposeful attempt to
insult the Office of the President of the United States and the most vulnerable
group of citizens.
She talks about
political correctness and whining. She agrees the “N” word is not okay but
dismisses any similarity to that argument. She also argues that if we keep challenging
words based on “political correctness” there will be a huge book of words we
cannot use. I have news for her, that book already exists under several names, “Good
Citizenship”,” Common Decency” or “How to get ahead using Good Manners.” I doubt she has read any of them. Further, no one is telling her she CANNOT use
it, but we can object to it and perhaps she will tire of the objections and
change her vocabulary or begin to realize how very very moronic she sounds.
Finally, to Ms. Coulter’s assertions that people representing
the disabled community are simply a bunch of whining liberals I will say this: Disability is truly equal opportunity. It knows
no political, racial, religious or any other limitations. This is not a
political issue. This is not an issue of conservative or liberal. I do not
believe for one minute that Ann Coulter speaks for my many decent friends who
happen to have a different political outlook than I do.
If you want to pick sides, identify them correctly. This is not conservative vs. liberal; this is decency
and kindness vs.callousness and greed.
Take action. Write to
your newspapers and favorite websites. Tell others to do the same. Rise up and
be heard and tell Ann Coulter to sit down and shut up. Tell the televisions shows
that pay her that you will not watch their shows if she is a part of it and
tell their sponsors you will not buy their products. Tell others to do the same. If she is impervious to
appeals to her decency, perhaps we can hurt her where she will feel it – in the
wallet.
Let her know that this vulnerable group of Americans and the people that love them are mad as hell and they won’t take it any more.
If you need some courage, watch Peter Finch in Network.
It is two weeks until the National Election. The race is
close and the insults are flying from both sides of the aisle. It is tiresome.
Apparently there are STILL undecided voters out there who can sway this
election, but how anyone could be undecided at this point is mind boggling to
me. There is a clear choice because the candidates and their visions for this
country are very distinct from one another. Pick somebody, it does not matter who you vote for, as long as
you are informed and vote.
.
Like many voters, I know who I’m voting for and really don’t
want to hear anything more from ANYBODY because it has become tiresome and
mean. No one is going to change my mind
now and I doubt there are others whose position will shift based on the
negative campaigning. Only the meanest among us are still listening to all this nonsense and
that’s simply to give their meanness
more fuel. I know I’m old, but I really don’t remember things being so mean spirited
when I was a kid.
There are times when the politics is simply an outlet for
meanness; the speaker is just a mean person and uses politics as a screen to hurl
invectives. I believe Ann Coulter falls
into that category. She is known as a “conservative
pundit.” While I agree that she is indeed conservative, I do not believe that
she speaks for anyone but mean people when she repeatedly uses the word “retard”
to describe people for whom she has no respect. She has used it to refer to people who support
President Obama and last night used it on twitter to describe the President himself. How can there be such an utter disregard for
decency by someone in a position like hers? She is unrepentant, however, tweeting later
that “only people too retarded to get it will care.”
Coulter does not speak or tweet for anyone but herself and other mean
spirited people who lack grace and decorum . Decent minded conservatives are distancing themselves from her and calling her out on the remark. Conservative
Michele Malkin from the social media
website Twitchy responded “what a shallow stupid thing to say Ann.” I cannot imagine this is something Mitt Romney’s people would endorse. I can only hope they
condemn it.
Ann Coulter is not the first famous person, or even the
first partisan person to use this word. Rahm Emanuel did so when he was
President Obama’s chief of Staff. (I wrote about that too. See this post or any of the other nine posts under the tab "Language Cop"). Sarah Palin, the
mother of a child with intellectual disabilities took great offense and
demanded that Obama fire Emanuel. I hope Sarah Palin is equally outraged now that it is coming from a conservative. (She was
strangely quiet when the word was used by a County Republican party chief in
Pennsylvania, but that was not a national stage.) I hope too that people are outraged that
someone could show such utter disregard for the office of the President of the
United States, regardless of their politics.
I have waxed poetic on this issue many times in the past. The
use of this word is mind-boggling to me. How can people call a sweater “retarded”
or refer to another person as “retarded” as a synonym for stupid. Anyone who
uses that word reveals more about themselves than anything else. They reveal
their complete lack of intellect, compassion and sensitivity. There is a
concerted effort to rid the world of this word. If you are so inclined, please
go to this website - www.r-word.org -.and take the pledge not to use it
And then take action. When you hear someone use it, educate
them. Tell them it is insensitive. Tell them it is not a synonym for “stupid”
or “dumb” or anything of the like. Most people do not even realize they say it
and as soon as they learn that they are offending people they stop. Because
most people are nice and want to do the right thing.
Before you tell me about Freedom of Speech, believe me I
know. I am not questioning her RIGHT to say it or anyone else’s right either. I
am delighted she has that right just as I have the right to say this. She has
the right to disagree with me and I with her. That is the basis of what makes
this country work. But, we all know
freedom isn’t free. There is a price for offending people with your words. There are consequences for saying certain things. Don’t believe me? ask Don Imus, the former
shock jock who disappeared from the airwaves after an especially offensive
comment in 2007. No one denied his freedom of speech – he just lost his
audience. He was completely off the air for awhile. I believe he's back now, but he's irrelevant.
My fervent hope is that the good people will stand up to the
bullies, that Ann Coulter and anyone else who thinks it’s ok and amusing to use
such a hurtful term will lose their audience. If I cannot get to her, I will get to her
audience. Do not listen to her. Do not tune in shows that give her or anyone
else who uses that term a say. Make them pay the price, make them irrelevant.
Because if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one
there to hear it, it does not make a sound.
And in this case silence really would be golden.
________________________
Addendum 10/24- This letter/response to Ann Coulter was written by a man with Down Syndrome. Eloquence and grace exudes from every word. If you haven't read it, please click below. It would indeed be a badge of honor to be compared to you, Mr. Stephens.
I know many cringe at political correctness and I know I've been on this soapbox before, (see Language Cop tag), but it is way past time to stop using or laughing at those who use the word "retarded" as a synonym for stupid.The only stupid ones are those insensitive enough to use it and offend challenged individuals everywhere.
Now it has entered the political arena.
"At an election party last night, Pennsylvania’s Allegheny County GOP Chair, Jim Roddey, brought the crowd to laughter and applause by calling an Obama supporter “mentally retarded.” Roddey, who is a long-time supporter of Mitt Romney, told the joke to a crowd of about 200: “I was very embarrassed. I was in this parking lot and there was a man looking for a space to park, and I found a space for him. And I felt badly — he looked like he was sort of in distress. And I said, ‘Sir, here’s a place.’ And he said, ‘That’s a handicapped space.’ I said, ‘Oh I’m so sorry, I saw that Obama sticker and I thought you were mentally retarded.’” http://thinkprogress.org/election/2012/08/08/655801/obama-sticker-mentally-retarded/
I can't even count the things wrong with this, but I can start with 1) a political party chair, albeit at a county level, finds it OK to use in an official capacity and 2) that 200 people would laugh and applaud.
I don't care what your politics are or who you are going to vote for or why. This is America and everyone gets to think what they want and vote for whomever they want for whatever reason. I have mine, you have yours. Great. That's what makes this country work.
We also have free speech, and I am a huge supporter of that. But as the saying goes, freedom isn't free. Saying whatever you want comes at a price. People will hold you accountable for the things you say. Yes, you can SAY whatever you want, but people can also object to or agree with it as they wish. That too is what makes this country work.
Sometimes when people disagree they boycott your business as we've seen recently in the Chic-Fil -A debacle. Sometimes when they disagree, they change their vote.
It will be interesting to see if anyone touches this.
I went to the movies last night. Shocking, I know. I had a wild night out - but was home before 10. My girlfriend suggested Contagion and something else heavy and I gave both the thumbs down. I don't get to go to the movies very often and I want to either see an excellent drama or escape completely. I didn't get either.
She had already seen the movies I was most interested in and we settled on My Idiot Brother. I love Paul Rudd and the SF Chronicle actually gave it a good review. (That should have been my first clue.) Allow me to assist you here. Save yourself the time and money.It's a forgettable piece of junk. The movie should have been called "I'm a nice guy with three sisters who lead screwed up lives and blame me for their problems." I do still love Paul Rudd, though. In this movie his character is kind and so trusting that he's socially clueless. He speaks the truth but won't hurt anybody. There is no disability here at all, he's just sort of a true hippie out of time.
Whey then would I bother you with any information about this movie.
Because a Hollywood movie made in 2011 used the word "R" word at least twice. Really? Still? Because of his innocence and social cluelessness other characters refer to him as "retarded." At one point he smiles and nods and says "I get that a lot." I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I searched through my giant bag to see if by chance I had and tomatoes I could throw at the screen but all I could find were feeding tubes.
If anyone still needs a lecture, here you go. Think before you speak folks. Think about the words that are coming out of your mouth and what effect they have on others. If you have to call somebody names, at least use words that make sense.For additional ranting by me on this subject, click on the Language Cop tab at the end of this post. Or for an official viewpoint join Spread the Word to End the Word
The R word is pejorative and hurtful. Don't use it. Correct other who use it. It is a slam against people with intellectual disabilities and puts up another wall that society has been trying to break down for many years. People who use it as a synonym for "stupid" sound ridiculous, childish and idiotic.
Because I am sounding so preachy I am just going to re post the link to Stephen Colbert's interview with Tim Shriver, the head of Special Olympics. The two of them say it so well. (I tried to embed the video, but I can't figure out how. There is a short ad first, but this is worthwhile watching. )
The campaign to end the "R" word has been near and dear to my heart for many years, well before Maggie came into my life. I am glad to see the movement taking off. You will be seeing this public service announcement on tv. Pay attention and Spread the Word!
You know when you see this title and picture that I'm getting on my soapbox again. But this time I'll let others do the talking.
Last night Tim Shriver, CEO of the Special Olympics was on The Colbert Report stressing the importance and humanity of eliminating the "R" Word from our language. I can't embed here, unfortunately, but I can give you the link. It's funny because Colbert is the perfect foil. There's a commercial first, I am sorry to say, but it's worth the wait!
Ahhh, just when you think it's safe to go back in the water......
There's a tsunami.
There actually WAS a tsunami here today, an after effect of the horrific earthquake in Japan. All good thoughts and prayers for the people in Japan most directly effected by this nightmare. There was no damage in San Francisco, but coastal communities north and south of us sustained significant damage to their ports and the boats moored there. Wild. The earthquake causes an upwelling that races across the Pacific Ocean at 500 miles an hour and rips boats from their moorings thousands of miles away. It's destructive and sad, but it's an awesome display of Mother Nature's power. As the saying goes, nature bats last.
Everything else seems small and insignificant in comparison.
Oh, and speaking of small and insignificant, a state legislator in New Hampshire had some choice opinions to share about individuals with various types of disabilities. I saw this on the Facebook page of "Spread the Word to end the Word":
Barrington Republican Martin Harty told Sharon Omand, a Strafford resident who manages a community mental health program, that \"the world is too populated\" and there are \"too many defective people,\" according to an e-mail account of the conversation by Omand. Asked what he meant, she said Harty clarified, \"You know the mentally ill, the retarded, people with physical disabilities and drug addictions - the defective people society would be better off without.\" Harty confirmed to the Monitor that he made the comments to Omand. Harty told the Monitor the world population has increased dramatically, and \"it\'s a very dangerous situation if it doubles again.\" Asked about people who are mentally ill, he asked, apparently referring to a lack of financial resources, \"Can we afford to bring them through?\"
This does not even bear any commentary at all. None. OK, just this: The scariest thing to me is that this guy is saying what many others think and are afraid to say.
Maybe decency can also bat last.
It's time for a walk off home run.
Addendum: I just learned in a comment from Elizabeth that Rep Marty is a 91 year old freshman republican. Wow! I checked that out and it's true. Wow Wow! He says he was kidding with these comments and they just got away from him, but WOW again. I generally give a wide berth to the elderly whose viewpoints are outdated, but sorry, when a person is an elected official that wide berth narrows considerably..
Today is March 2. It is my sister Mary's birthday. It is also my niece Mary Clare's birthday (named after her aunt) and I wish them both a wonderful day. Tomorrow is Maggie's birthday, so I have a ton of things to do to get ready for her Mardi Gras party.
In addition to the celebrations and preparations, though March 2 is something else. It is the national day of action in the campaign to end the "R" word. It is "Spread the Word to End the Word" and it is a cause I wholly support. This has been the subject of previous blog posts and because there's nothing like repetition, I am simply going to recycle what I've said before. It is symbolic, not lazy. The message is so simple, but people need to hear it over and over again. There's nothing new to say, so here's what I said in November 2008 and a few times since.(see language cop tag). Join in. Go to http://www.r-word.org/ and take the pledge to end the R word.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Warning: I’m going to play language cop. And just to irritate you further, I’m going to make some sweeping generalizations while I do.
Over the past generation, there has been a marked decline in the use of many ugly words in the English language. Well, at least from the language of decent people. Racial and ethnic pejoratives are no longer the norm, or at least not in public places. Some people call it political correctness others call it common decency. Either way, significant progress has been made. Certainly, there is a long way to go; but we have learned as a culture that these words are hateful and hurtful. Admittedly, many individuals have not yet learned this, but overall the collective consciousness has been raised and good people refrain from using them.
Middle schoolers and those of similar developmental maturity still use the word “gay” to describe things; and generally it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. “That jacket is ‘gay’” simply doesn’t make sense. Of course, that term or others like it are still used to tease, judge and hurt. Culturally, we have farther to go in this area, but hopefully this too is waning.
One word that is equally hurtful, but has not seemed to resonate with the cultural language cops is: “retard”.
For some reason using this word hasn’t come under the same microscope and remains acceptable even among the decent folk who would never consider using racial, ethnic or cultural pejoratives.
It needs to go.
Describing someone as a retard is …. Well …. no, I won’t say it.
Presumably, the use of the word is meant to imply that someone is stupid or unable to do a simple task. Of course, that has nothing to do with actual intellectual disabilities, which is an innate disability over which the person has no control. Equating that disability with stupidity is ignorant. Using the term in an effort to be funny is anything but.
The term is in the same class as the racial, ethnic and sexual orientation pejoratives. Though it may not be intended as such, using it in that way is equally hateful and hurtful. We need a collective cringe
When my boys were younger they knew not to use that word in my presence. When their friends were in my house or my car and used that word, they were immediately lectured. Several people have learned not to say that word – or at least not to say it around me. I can remember one friend of #1 son saying that in the back of the car and I looked in the rearview in time to see #1 sock him in the leg and say, “Don’t get my mom started.” I just smiled. To quote George W. “mission accomplished.” I didn’t have to say anything.
I do not suggest we start beating each other up to eliminate the word, but I would hope everyone will try to refrain from using it and be aware when you hear it that it is just not “ok” anymore.
I have spent every day for the past 14.5 years dealing with disability. My daughter’s disabilities are profound, and mental retardation is not even one of them. I have seen so many children work as hard as they possibly can to overcome some disabilities and/or to adapt to others. Every minute of every day for these kids is hard work. Some of them do have intellectual disabilities, but I have yet to meet one who is stupid.
Don’t equate the two. Eliminate that word from your vocabulary. Do it just for me.
In case you do not know, the “r” word is “retard” or “retarded.” Many people use these words as a synonym for stupid. It makes me cringe. (The other day a sales clerk in Macys used it to describe a display of goods. She sounded idiotic.) Many think trying to police the language one uses is a dumb way to effect change. I disagree. Hearing that word used pejoratively works to reinforce bad stereotypes. Changing terminology alone will not change the world, but it is a start. In the words of Lao-Tzu, “’the longest journey begins with a single step.”
Because this is something I have always felt strongly about, even before I had Maggie in my life, I became a facebook “fan” of this movement and get interesting updates on this issue regularly. Today there was a link to a Community Newsletter piece written by Joe Greene and published the Journal Times in Racine, Wisconsin. This article hit the nail on the head for me. The following is an excerpt from that piece.
Unfortunately, what so many in our society fail to realize is that individuals with disabilities are not people who “suffer from the tragedy of birth defects.” They are not “victims” who must “fight” to “overcome their challenges.” They are not retarded, autistic, blind, deaf or learning disabled. They are people. They are moms and dads, sons and daughters, friends and neighbors, students and teachers, employers and employees. They are people first.
Respectful and inclusive language is essential to the movement for the dignity and humanity of people with intellectual disabilities. Stop and think about it. All members of the human race are entitled to respect and dignity. When you use a word like retarded, even during casual conversation, it strips those with developmental disabilities of their dignity.
Words are powerful. Witness the power of the written word in newspaper print, electronically over the Internet or on television. What we say or write matters.
As society’s language changes, perceptions and attitudes will change — acceptance and respect for people with disabilities will evolve. Using people-first language is a huge step in the right direction to stop hurting others. People-first language is a respectful way of speech and puts the person before the disability. People-first language uses words all people understand.
Avoid words that are misleading or have negative connotations because they contribute to negative stereotypes and devalue the person being described. Some examples of these kinds of words include wheelchair-bound, mongoloid, deaf and dumb, mute, crippled, handicapped and defective.
Replace “handicapped” or “disabled” with “people with disabilities.” Change “He/she is retarded or a slow learner” to “He/she is a person with intellectual disabilities or cognitive disabilities or a learning disability.”
All my stories about Maggie and her friends are simply trying to get across the message Mr. Greene sums up so succinctly. She is just a girl who happens to have some physical disabilities and medical issues. Those issues make her approach to life different and sometimes interesting to those of us who approach things more typically, but they don’t define her or change who she is.
It really is simple. Use terminology that describes one as a person first and mention the disability only if it is relevant to the conversation. It is contagious. The person you are talking to will likely do the same and the negative connotation will start to disappear. It is a long journey, but it is a single step.
I’m sure this will not come as a surprise to any of you, but I have to weigh in on all the recent discussion in the media about the use of the “R“ word. It makes me sick. I wrote a post about this back in November 2008 (Maggie World: Language Cop, http://sfmaggie.blogspot.com/2008/11/warning-im-going-to-play-language-cop.html#links ) and I reiterate those views here. But all this recent brouhaha warrants another commentary.
Many of you will think me oversensitive because of my daughter’s disabilities. That’s fine, maybe I am, but that conclusion should not prevent you from actually thinking for yourself. Maggie does have profound disabilities, though she does not happen to have intellectual disabilities; but that is not the reason I dislike this word so. The word is offensive and dismissive and those who use it sound childish and well…….no, I won’t go there.
To update anyone who missed things here are the recent events.
1) Rahm Emanuel, White House Chief of Staff uses the term “f-ing retarded” to describe efforts of some democrats to criticize the White House over some of the Health Care reform situation. This was classless and stupid. I expect the White House Chief of Staff to comport himself with more articulate prose and to refrain from the use of profanity and other offensive terminology.
2) Sarah Palin, former vice presidential candidate, darling of the right wing and mother of a child with down’s syndrome calls for Emanuel’s resignation for his use of this term. This is overblown and stupid, though I happen to agree with her distaste for the comment.
3) Rush Limbuagh uses the term “retard” in his commentary. This is classless and Stupid
4) Sarah Palin says it’s ok for Rush Limbaugh to use the term because he was kidding. This is stupid, inconsistent and transparent.
5) Steven Colbert mocks Sarah Palin’s inconsistencies. This was hilarious.
6) SNL mocks Rahm Emanuel’s apology. This was hilarious
7) Lewis Black, who I normally adore, does a very unfunny riff on the whole debate. This was offensive and stupid.
Even though there was some good comedy, #2 through #7 never happen if Rahm Emanuel doesn’t use the word in the first place. The word needs to go.
Special Olympics is waging a campaign to get rid of the “r” word. This is something I can get behind. As I looked into this campaign further (http://www.specialolympics.org/why-the-r-word-must-go.aspx )I found that Spread the Word the End the Word day is March 3, which is Maggie’s birthday.
I always have such a hard time with Maggie’s Birthday, but this year we can DO something positive. Go to http://www.r-word.org/ and take the pledge to not use the R word and spend Maggie’s birthday spreading the word to end the word.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Warning: I’m going to play language cop. And just to irritate you further, I’m going to make some sweeping generalizations while I do.
Over the past generation, there has been a marked decline in the use of many ugly words in the English language. Well, at least from the language of decent people. Racial and ethnic pejoratives are no longer the norm, or at least not in public places. Some people call it political correctness others call it common decency. Either way, significant progress has been made. Certainly, there is a long way to go; but we have learned as a culture that these words are hateful and hurtful. Admittedly, many individuals have not yet learned this, but overall the collective consciousness has been raised and good people refrain from using them.
Middle schoolers and those of similar developmental maturity still use the word “gay” to describe things; and generally it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. “That jacket is ‘gay’” simply doesn’t make sense. Of course, that term or others like it are still used to tease, judge and hurt. Culturally, we have farther to go in this area, but hopefully this too is waning.
One word that is equally hurtful, but has not seemed to resonate with the cultural language cops is: “retard”.
For some reason using this word hasn’t come under the same microscope and remains acceptable even among the decent folk who would never consider using racial, ethnic or cultural pejoratives.
It needs to go.
Describing someone as a retard is …. Well …. no, I won’t say it.
Presumably, the use of the word is meant to imply that someone is stupid or unable to do a simple task. Of course, that has nothing to do with actual mental retardation, which is an innate disability over which the afflicted person has no control. Equating that disability with stupidity is ignorant. Using the term in an effort to be funny is anything but.
The term is in the same class as the racial, ethnic and sexual orientation pejoratives. Though it may not be intended as such, using it in that way is equally hateful and hurtful. We need a collective cringe
When my boys were younger they knew not to use that word in my presence. When their friends were in my house or my car and used that word, they were immediately lectured. Several people have learned not to say that word – or at least not to say it around me. I can remember one friend of #1 son saying that in the back of the car and I looked in the rearview in time to see #1 sock him in the leg and say, “Don’t get my mom started.” I just smiled. To quote George W. “mission accomplished.” I didn’t have to say anything.
I do not suggest we start beating each other up to eliminate the word, but I would hope everyone will try to refrain from using it and be aware when you hear it that it is just not “ok” anymore.
I have spent every day for the past 14.5 years dealing with disability. My daughter’s disabilities are profound, and mental retardation is not even one of them. I have seen so many children work as hard as they possibly can to overcome some disabilities and/or to adapt to others. Every minute of every day for these kids is hard work. Some of them do have mental retardation, but I have yet to meet one who is stupid.
Don’t equate the two. Eliminate that word from your vocabulary. Do it just for me.
