Tragic Flaw

Like everyone else in the world, I was shocked at the recent arrest of Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius and even more shocked that the charge was murder of his girlfriend Reena Steenkamp.

I don't know what happened. I know that a young woman is dead and that police had been called to the home previously for domestic violence issues. Oscar Pistorius is the only living soul who knows and he says he shot who he thought was a burglar. The police dismissed that theory immediately. I really want to believe it because I want it to be true.  It is possible, I suppose, but not very plausible.

The whole sordid story is very Shakespearean. He was the hero of his own making brought down by his own doing. He had a tragic flaw that led to his ruin. Pistorious overcame unbelievable adversity to compete in the Olympic games. A foot racer without feet. Unimaginable.Heroic.Moving. He was the epitome of grace and sportsmanship throughout the Olympic games. Now we see a darker side that is anything but.

 Many thought his "flaw" was physical. Many defined him by his disability. But there was more to the story. There always is. Usually it's something good that no one sees because they cannot see past the disability. In a TV movie he would be a senstitive artist or the savior of the town or something. But in real life that's not the case. Often there is no happy ending. Certainly not in this story, no matter what the truth turns out to be.

Human beings some in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ability levels. We cannot define them by any of those traits. Some humans are good. Some humans are bad. Some get caught in terrible circumstances. Some do terrible things. Some are tragically flawed.



Rest in Peace Reena Steenkamp

Inspirational or demeaning?

I do not have a disability and cannot speak for those who do. I speak as the parent of a person with multiple disabilities and share her world of which I am a keen observer. Sometimes I forget because disability is so much a part of my life, but the difference between being a disabled person and caring for a disabled person is vast.

Lately I have read numerous posts, articles etc written by people with varying disabilities and have noticed a very common theme. These writers, and I suspect they speak for many, find it objectionable to be considered inspirational because of their disabilities. This post is probably the one I've seen most.  They are not on earth to inspire others or to have their ability to meet real day to day challenges attributed to a good attitude.

The following picture is fantastic, but the caption is not. Captions on a picture like this one suggest that attitude is the key to overcoming challenges.

If that quote were true, Maggie would be a ballet dancer today because no one has a better attitude than she does. Obviously that's not happening.  A good attitude will not make disabilities go away and this "abelist" way of thinking is disrespecting people as individuals. ("Abelism", I am learning, is the continued marginalization of disabled individuals by those who do not have disabilities)

 Respect, accommodation where needed, recognition of challenges are welcome, but people are working hard to live their lives as well as they can and don't want to be inspiring simply because they have a disability. Frankly it simply adds to the pressure. In addition to meeting their challenges, they have to balance on a pedestal. These are human beings with strengths and weaknesses -- and by weaknesses, I am NOT referring to their disabilities. The disability does not define humanity, but it seems to be how others define persons with disabilities all the time.

I get that. I really do. I have written many times about how uncomfortable I feel when strangers make comments about how wonderful I am, or how blessed we are, or what a gift Maggie is. I appreciate it, but it makes me squirm. Strangers don't know anything about us and they are automatically impressed, inspired, or ready to canonize Maggie or me.

 But I have to be honest. I understand why people are inspired by Maggie. I am inspired by her every day. I am inspired by many of her peers as well. The kids I see in the hospital who are smiling and joking while hooked up to countless machines also inspire me. And anyone who wasn't inspired by or in awe of Oscar Pistorius (Olympic runner pictured above) is made of stone.

I am inspired to quit whining about what ever has me down. I am inspired to try harder. I am inspired to be happier and more thankful for the things I have in life, including an able body.

I really don't know how to reconcile these things. I get that there is a risk of further marginalizing disabled individuals by touting those dealing with disabilities as inspirational, but I remain inspired.

Perhaps the lesson is to be inspired by individuals instead of by disability.

I welcome any thoughts here.....

Olympic moment

I am so impressed and amazed by Oscar Pistorius from South Africa, the 400m runner who uses prosthetic legs. His ability to compete at an Olympic level is nothing short of amazing. When he qualified for the semi final the other day I felt proud for all disabled people everywhere - and for all people, disabled or not because it was a huge step forward for humanity.

He didn't make the finals, but he certainly made the Olympics for me. Then the icing on the cake came at the end of the race - in which Oscar finished last - when the winner of that heat, Kirani James of Grenada, asked to change bibs with him.  This was an excellent moment in sportsmanship.

Now I'm rooting for Kirani James to win the Gold

check it out on this video. Oscars interview at the end is also great.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/track-and-field/highlights-oscar-pistorius-bows-out-in-400m-semifinals.html