German Invasion Day 9

Our exchange students Betty and Vanya have been with us for nine days now. I believe they are enjoying themselves and getting a lot out of their visit. I KNOW we are. It's an amazing thing that in such a short amount of time these girls have become such a part of our lives.

Vanya and Betty are in a group of about 14 students who came from Germany. The kids are spread out among various host families connected with the high school.  Most of the host families have students at the school. Our connection is more tenuous, my brother is a teacher there. I was glad to get two students (who are already good friends) because they don't have a host student in the house.  Maggie attends a different high school and, though you may find this hard to believe, she is not that hip on the social aspects of being a San Francisco teenager.

Betty went with the rest of the visiting German students to Los Angeles for four days. Vanya stayed in San Francisco. It was interesting to watch Vanya adapt to school and to us without her friend around.  Of course she did great. But when Betty returned last night, I realized how much I had missed her and saw how happy Vanya was to have her back again. It was a sweet reunion for all of us.

These girls are 16 years old and I can tell you that teenagers are teenagers regardless of their country of origin. They giggle and converse and give each other a bad time. Vanya told Betty that she (Vanya) was now our favorite daughter because she bonded with us while Betty was in Los Angeles. Betty just stuck out her lower lip in reply and we all laughed.  They joke with each other and with us and even get Steve's sarcasm. It feels like the energy level in this house has increased in a very positive way.

In addition to the constancy of teenagers, there is also the constancy of parenting. Steve and I find ourselves worrying about them and wondering where to set limits. There has not been any issue whatsoever, but there is a dance at the school tonight. Also Halloween is Monday and they are invited to any number of parties. Fortunately it's a school night so they won't go too crazy.

You have to realize that the only teenager in this house now is Maggie. We have many worries about her, but heading out to dances and Halloween parties unsupervised are just NOT among them. I worried about stuff like this with my sons too, but let's face it, the issues are different with boys than with girls. Also, I had known all of their friends for many years and knew what to expect. I also knew their friends parents and could track them down with relative ease.

It's been several years since we've had to consider these issues. We will figure it out, but we are realizing that we both feel somewhat energized by the circumstances. I just have to keep Steve from roaming the streets on Halloween looking for any signs of mischief.

Talk about scary!

Red Tape for $500 Alex

Medical drama for Maggie.  She's fine, but she had to have a brain scan on Monday. It was clear.

I dealt with some of the best specialties available, anesthesia, post anesthesia care, neurosurgeons. But no one could help with with a HEALTH issue. Perphap medicine is a bit too specialized. No one can address the whole PATIENT. And when you have a Maggie, with multiple problems, I need someone to think about the whole person, not just their specific specialty.

Maggie had to be anesthetized for the scan because she cannot stay still. She was out for about 5 minutes, if that. Even though it was short,  they had to send her to the recovery room. That was a first - generally they just let her wake up and I take her. Maybe they used different anesthesia. No one could explain the change - why would I want to know?  I'm only the mother.

While in the recovery room she developed a separate, unrelated but acute and dramatic issue, one that required medical attention. Good thing I was already in the hospital, or so I thought. I quickly called the nurse who looked very alarmed and asked if this had happened before. I told her it had once before but she was already an inpatient at the time.  The nurse looked through Maggie's paperwork and said "But that's not what she's here for." Right, this is a new problem.  "Then I suggest you call your primary care doctor immediately."

I was dumbfounded. I'm sitting in a hospital, Maggie is bleeding from places she should not be and I can't get help.

My primary care doc is at a different location. We had an appointment with the neurosurgeons after the scan and I could deal with everything at this place. I said perhaps you should call someone who can help her now  and the said I really don't know who to call. I gave her the name and department of the doctor who would handle this problem but it wasn't going to happen. I had to leave Maggie in the recovery room to go out into the hallway to call the other specialist's office to get the test ordered. (no cell reception in the recovery room). Even that office  were reluctant to do it becasue they could not fit Maggiein  that day and would have to charge for an office visit. I said, I have already collected the sample, I just need an order for it to go to the lab.  Done - reluctantly, but done.

Now it's been 72 hours since that happened and I still haven't heard form ANYONE up there about this. I called my pediatrician (and good friend) less than 24 hours after the tests who got the results and started the antibiotic immediately.  Maggie has now been on antibiotics for 48 hours, not that anyone at the hospital knows that. By the time the specialists deal with this Maggie will be an old woman. If they ever heard this story they would shrug and say , well it all worked out. Yeah - no thanks to you or anyone else up there.

I get that specialized medicine is necessary. In fact I know the specialists have saved Maggie's life on numerous occasions. But some common sense should be injected into the equation at some point. Should I have to machete my way through red tape to get Maggie what she needs? 

Kissy Face

Maggie has issues with anything touching her face. She can touch her face herself, but anything else makes her wince. In fact, this is the face Maggie makes whenever she gets a Kiss, even from Tim.

Believe it or not, she actually loves it, but ooooh, that face!

Carlos Santana

Maggie went to an assembly at school yesterday. Yawn. Not big news. Every high school has assemblies. However, not every high school has Carlos Santana play a concert at their assembly. Very cool.

 Santana graduated from Mission in 1967 and according to one news story, hasn't been back since.  Yesterday he came to celebrate Mission's accomplishment of getting an 85% college acceptance rate.Mission is making great improvement in academics in recent years. (maybe since Maggie arrived?) Here is the school principal Mr. Guthertz on the school stage with Santana. (Two men I admire for completely different reasons.)

 He not only played, but had the guitar Club from the school on stage with him for at least one song. Someone from the school posted this video on you tube.

 Maggie and her fellow wheelchair users were right up against the stage and she  loved it. We were listening to Santana all weekend in preparation.  She liked the music and especially liked the fact that I LOVED the music. During the assembly itself, the nurse said Maggie was very fidgety while Santana inspired the kids with his words. He told the kids to remember they were significant and that each individual matters. (I think Maggie already knows that she matters.) She was much more into the music.

I came to pick her up early for a doctors appointment and was talking to a reporter outside (casually, not interviewed) who  was waiting for a cab. He asked if I stayed for the concert and I said, "no. I figured this was for the kids and I was afraid I would embarrass myself because Santana was much more my era than theirs." He was about my age and he laughed and agreed; but he said, Santana owned that room in about 30 seconds because he related to the kids so well. His music is not generation specific at all and his personality and warmth came shining through.

Actor Edward James Olmos and director Peter Bratt were there too.

Not bad for a Monday. Wonder whats up for today?

Weekend Whirlwind

This was a great weekend. the weather was perfect, both my boys were in town, we had a dinner on Saturday with my mom and my brother and sister in law and I didn't lose any exchange students.


My son Eddie and his girlfriend Grace arrived on Thursday evening about 6. We talked for a while and I told them I would introduce them to Vanya and Betty, our German exchange students, as soon as they returned from their walk. They were due back at 6:30. When they still had not arrived at 6:45 I was getting nervous. They had only been in SF for 24 hours and I let them wander around alone. Eddie was making fun of me for being worried. I tried to be cool, but by 7:00 it was pitch dark and they were no where to be found. I started looking around in the car. I wasn't worried about their safety, per se, but I feared they were lost. Eddie stayed home to let me know if they showed up. They did at 7:15. When I came home they were all apologies, but I knew it was as much (or more) on me than on them. We ate dinner and the girls turned in, still jet lagged from the trip. An hour later the second earthquake of the day jolted the house. I made the decision right then and them to buy them a go phone (pay as you go cell phone) to use while they were here. Grace and I bought in on Friday. For $25 I have the perfect solution to my anxiety. I gave them the phone Friday after school and now know I can reach them or visa versa whenever we need to.

Steve returned from his trip on Friday night to find only Maggie and I at home. The girls had gone to a high school football game with my neighbors and Eddie and Grace were out with friends. Maggie and I were holding down the fort watching chick flicks. Within a few minutes everyone else arrived and Steve was introduced to the girls and caught up with Eddie.

Maggie and I took the girls downtown on Saturday morning to meet up with one of the host students, who was going to spend the day shopping with them. I picked them up later in the afternoon, stopping in the middle of busy Market Street to retrieve them. I was  urging them to jump in the car before a) I got a ticket and b) the Occupy San Francisco people enveloped us. Vanya and Betty were fascinated by the protest because they said they don't have things like this in Germany. It was a good opportunity to explain both the academic - the importance of free speech is in this country  - and the practical - how you don't want to be stuck in traffic because of someone else exercising that right.

Maggie is thrilled having visitors. She is calling them by name via her dynavox. When they first heard her say, "Vanya and Betty, hello!" they were taken aback but delighted. That helped them "get" Maggie a little better. She doesn't always appear to be engaged, but she is listening and paying attention all the time. 

Maggie was even more thrilled to have BOTH brothers home at the same time. Tim came by on Saturday and Sunday morning and I was able to get a picture of all of them together. This is becoming an increasingly  rare occasion.

Culture!

We are hosting two German highs school students for three weeks. They arrived yesterday and everything seems to be going very well. The two girls, Vanya and Betty, are already good friends in Germany, so they are very pleased to be rooming together. They are lovely, polite, speak perfect English and think everything is great. That's the kind of house guest you dream of. Here they are leaving for school this morning and saying good bye to Maggie.

We've already had our first cultural exchange. I asked if there was anything they wanted to eat or didn't want to eat so I could stock the groceries accordingly. Vanya mentioned last time she was here she had some lovely cheese from Philadelphia that was very creamy and wold love to have that again. I said, Philadelphia Cream Cheese? Yes. No problem. They had bagels and cream cheese for breakfast and Betty had never heard of them or tried them. Of course she loved it (how could you not?). I guess that's not technically MY culture but I think Bagels are assimilated enough that we can all claim them.

Maggie has had limited interaction at this point. The girls met her when they got home yesterday, but they could barely stay awake and were in bed by about 7:30. They will have plenty of time to get to know one another.

The new refrigerator arrived while I was at the airport (of course.) Thanks to the generosity of my friend Rose who waited at my house for the delivery men, it is in place and cooling food again. I tried to convince Vanya and Betty that my kitchen is not usually in such disarray, but I'm not sure I got that across. The plastic wrapping on the refrigerator helped me look a bit more credible.  Of course now its a day later and the food is put away, but the disarray continues, so maybe it's not just the new refrigerator.

Have a grand day.

Big Day

Maggie is about to get on the bus to go to school like most school days. But today is very different. Maggie is going to be the host student for two exchange students from Germany and they are arriving today. Our guests are two girls and they will be in the US for three weeks. They will not attend Mission High, where Maggie goes. Rather they are part of a program at ISA - International Studies Academy in Potrero Hill.

My brother is a teacher at ISA and they were a little short on host families, so we volunteered. The girls, Vanya and Betty, will be here for a week, then the group goes to Los Angeles, then back here for the third week. We are all looking forward to this new adventure.

I did let the organizers know that Maggie is not exactly a typical American High school student and wanted to make sure that the students placed here understood the realities. I certainly don't need to shock a visiting teenager. These girls know what they are walking into, so we don't have to worry about that. I received a couple of emails from Vanya, and it is clear her English is excellent, so we will all get along great, I'm sure.

I am picking them up at the airport and then taking them to their school for a reception. My brother will bring them here after school so they could arrive shortly after Maggie gets back on the bus.

Of course today is also the day that our refrigerator arrives and right now the counter is lined with non perishable items that have been in the fridge since it went out on Saturday. Think about it. What is non perishable that you keep in a refrigerator? Beer, of course. And there's also a bottle of champagne.

 I really hope the new one is in place and all this put away before they get home from school. I would have their first impression to be a kitchen counter lined with alcohol. They were informed about the disabilities, not the alcohol.

Auf Wiedersehen!