Connections and elections

It used to drive my husband and kids crazy that I would run into people I know all over the city. I told the boys if you stay in San Francisco, the same thing will happen to you. San  Francisco is a world class city, but it is not a huge place. If you grew up here and stayed here like I did, you know a lot of people, especially if you are part of a smaller community within the city. I am a part of several smaller communities including the community of disabled children and special education. I have met countless people through Maggie. But that cannot hold a candle to the San Francisco Catholic school connection. 

I went through the Catholic schools as did all six of my siblings, my parents and most of my cousins. Many people move away, but like many who stay in the City I sent my boys through them too. That just multiplies the effect as the next generation of connections is made. It is an enormous group of people but you can make a connection in less than 30 seconds. If you didn't actually go to school with them you knew their brother or lived next door to their cousin or something. Even though we move on and meet new people and socialize with friends we've met as adults, those childhood connections are strong. Even stronger if you have kids doing the same thing. We are basically raising our kids just as we were raised. 

On of those people is my friend Nancy Hayden Crowley. I have known her since I was in the 5th grade and she was in the 2nd grade. She was a hilarious kid and is a hilarious adult. As a kid she was friends with my sister Ellen, though as we got older and age differences didn't matter any more we all hung out together. She has a son Maggie's age and a daughter a bit younger, but it is not the kids that connect us. It is so many years of knowing each other so well. It takes you back.  Whenever I run into her, which is often, I instantly feel like I am wearing my middy and tie in the St. Stephen's school yard. She lives in the house she grew up in, sent her kids to St. Stephens and  remains an active member of that neighborhood and community. Now her husband FX Crowley is running for supervisor of District 7.

I drove past her house the other day and she was organizing her husbands campaign workers as they canvassed the District. I stopped and she ran over to the car to talk to me and say hello to Maggie.  She gave us campaign buttons and offered donuts, even though we live in District 1. We laughed through our entire conversation, which was only about 10 minutes because she had to get back to work. 

As I drove away I thought to myself,  I cannot pretend I am on the school yard anymore. Of course I know other people in City government but this is different. If FX Crowley wins this election Nancy will be the first lady of District 7.  I don't think San Francisco supervisors host too many State Dinners in their districts, but I would love to see Nancy presiding over one.  

Middys and ties will be de rigueur.

my 6th grade class picture from St. Stephens

Dance of Joy

Maggie was very excited to head off to the first day of summer school. She has her paramedic story to share and a couple of battle scars to show as well. 

As the bus pulled away, I started to hear the peanuts theme in my head and had to keep from starting my dance of joy until I got back in the house. I have a reputation to maintain, after all.

 Now I'm dancing! And I have a feeling Maggie is too.

911. What's your emergency?

Let me start this by saying Maggie is fine.

But we had a helluva afternoon. I think it is safe to say that the boredom of mom camp was shattered.

Yes that is a picture of the San Francisco Fire Department in my dining room looking at Maggie’s medical background for their paperwork.

Maggie was home with the nurse and I was running errands like a crazy woman, trying to get back in time for her next procedure. I knew I was going to be late, but she is ok for another 30 minutes or so and I just had to get some groceries. I was standing in line to pay when my phone rang and it was Maggie’s nurse, Fely. I answered and without waiting for her to speak said, “I’m almost done and I’ll be home in 20 minutes.” She said, Sally, something is wrong. Maggie is very upset and she is turning blue. WHAT!?!? Is she ok? She is now, but she is crying uncontorllably. Is she blue now? No. The trach was plugged and I cleared it.  I am giving her oxygen. Ok. 

Lest you think I'm inattentive, this does happen with Maggie. It's never good, but once it's over it's over. Still I wanted to get home to see for myself. 

Of course it took FOREVER to get checked out and for the first time in about 1 year I was shopping at a different store, not my neighborhood Safeway. I was at least 15 minutes from home but I had to get out of the store. As I loaded the groceries into the car Fely called again. She sounded more worried. I said, “I’m coming now. DO you need 911?” She said no. She was giving Maggie O2 but she seemed to be in pain.

I drove as safely as I could while fighting panic. Tim was at work in Marin. I called my neighbor who is an RN to see if she could pop in and do an assessment. No answer. I called Steve to see if he was almost home. He was still in his office. He said he would leave right away, but I know I would get home before he did.

When I arrived, Maggie was in distress. Fely was giving o2 and her respiratory numbers were fine – but her heart rate was in the stratosphere.  I made sure the trach was clear. I was perplexed, for sure and said, let’s get her in bed. As I tried to get her out of the chair, I saw it. Her foot was completely wedged in behind the foot box on her wheelchair.  I could not move her and I could not free her foot.

I grabbed the tools and tried to loosen the box but I was fumbling around like an idiot. I finally found the right sized wrench but I couldn’t budge the bolts.  I was freaking out. I needed help and I called 911.

In a way, this is like a normal kid problem, right. Granted, it involved a wheelchair, but she needed to be freed. She could have been up a tree or locked in a closet or something like that, right? This could happen to anyone, right?   As I kept giving information to the 911 dispatcher, I realized maybe it wasn’t so normal. 

“San Francisco 911 what’s your emergency”

My daughter has her foot wedged in behind a piece of her wheelchair and I cannot free it.

Is she injured?

She is definitely in pain, but I can’t tell if it’s injured or broken or just stuck (note – I was not calm)

How old is your daughter? 18.

How did she get her foot in there?

 I don’t know?  She has CP and gets herself into some strange positions, I have never seen her foot back there before.

Oh. I see. What does she say happened? Can she tell you how she did it?

No. She’s non verbal.

Oh. I see. How long has she been stuck?

At least 25 minutes I’m trying to get the foot box off, but I’m not strong enough to move it (shrieking a bit)

Ok ma’am. Take a breath. [When he said that I realized I hadn’t taken a breath in several sentences] The Fire Department and paramedics are en route.

It took about 4 minutes. That is a very quick response, but it is a very long time to wait.  I did have the presence of mind to put the dog outside so he didn’t bother the firemen when they arrived and to call Steve and tell him what was happening. I did not want him to have a heart attack when he saw the Fire trucks and paramedics in front of the house.

First came the firemen – about 5 of them. They surrounded Maggie. I couldn’t even get into Maggie room. I heard a “crack” and knew the chair was broken. I  Did Not Care.  More rescuers arrived.  They just kept coming. There were at least 10 guys in my house. The firemen left when the paramedics took over. We were down to five guys and then three. At some point Steve arrived too. The paramedics  determined her foot was bruised, but likely not broken. They were concerned about Maggie’s breathing and I assured them her weird breathing was her norm. When she started grinning at the firemen and doing her own version of flirting, I knew she was really ok. She pretty much owned every guy in the room.  She was stressed, but fine.

 I was just stressed.

A huge thank you to the very kind firefighters, emt’s and paramedics and everyone else who was here. We 

do not need help very often, but we did today. It is sure nice to know help is there when we need it. 

Grouchy Camper, Grouchy Counselor

Mom Camp is almost over. Summer school starts on Monday. That's a good thing because the camp counselor is getting quite grouchy, and the camper is becoming more difficult to please. When Maggie is out of school I lose the only time I have to myself. Maggie and I have fun together, but everything becomes more difficult and more time consuming. She's bored and I'm frazzled, which is always a very helpful combination.

Yesterday we did our gardening project and everything looks lovely. Maggie was really not that interested at all, though she did enjoy watering our newly planted flowers and herbs this morning. Here are two of the five containers we planted.

We then made a quick trip to the mall, Maggie's favorite place on earth. We were shopping for Grandpa who hit the big 8-0 yesterday. A helpful clerk took us all over the store looking for shorts with elastic in the waist that were not basketball shorts.   He seemed to forget that I was pushing a huge wheelchair as her darted through racks and narrow openings. Finally Maggie and I just stopped and stayed where he could see us so we didn't get stuck somewhere.

By the way, Maggie would like everyone to know that a trip to the men's department does not really count as a trip to the mall. She was quite peeved at me.

The nurse arrived but that doesn't really give me a break because she can't do anything on her own anymore. I had to fetch all the supplies downstairs, lift Maggie and help with all the procedures. I had to time things right so I could be gone for awhile as I wanted to go to dinner with Steve and his dad for his birthday.  Steve was already in the East Bay and was going straight to his dad's so I planned to take BART out there. Before I could do that, though, I to arrange for Tim to be around to help with the next set of procedures so I could go.

When the most relaxing part of your day is a commuter train ride out to the East Bay, it may be time for a break.

The three of us went to dinner and them came back to the house for cake and pie with Steve's cousin Jenny and her boyfriend Scott who live in the house with Grandpa Ed.  The rest of the family will celebrate this weekend at (yet another) graduation, and again in a few weeks at a family reunion; but we didn't want the actual birthday to slip by unnoticed. Ed enjoyed his day, which was the main goal.

Of course two of the three things I bought have to be returned, so Maggie gets another trip to the men's department. She's thrilled about that.

We are both ready for Summer school to start.

Changeable plans ahead!

My plan was to take Maggie on a Bay cruise today, but she's been a tad under the weather and I figured maybe rolling around on the Bay wasn't a great idea for someone with some intestinal problems. Besides, I'm not sure that's something I want to do without an extra pair of hands.

The weather looked fabulous this morning. The sky was blue and Maggie's room in the back (east side) of the house was warm and cozy. I dressed Maggie in her new halter top that we bought yesterday. She looked great. She thought it was hilarious when Dad came in and said, What are you wearing young lady? Where do you think you are, Las Vegas?"

Because of the lovely weather, Plan B was a walk along the promenade above Ocean Beach. There is a walkway that goes for about a mile or more and when it's nice it's a great place to walk. As we loaded into the car I realized it wasn't quite as warm as I thought.  We headed west for a couple of miles until we hit the beach. The wind seemed to pick up with every few blocks we traveled.  I parked, opened the door, lowed the lift and immediately closed it again. It was blowing so hard out there that sand was flying everywhere. Blowing sand is no fun for anyone, but especially not for someone with a trach. It was not exactly wheelchair friendly either; the walkway was covered with the blowing sand.
   

Time for Plan C. Maggie and I turned south and hit Home Depot in Daly City. We bought new shades for her room (she pulls and yanks on them and we have to replace them regularly) and we decided to starts a new project as well. We bought a bunch of plants, flowers, herbs, tomatoes, seeds and even some bulbs. Tomorrow morning we are going to plant them in containers on the deck so Maggie can be part of watering them and watching them grow.  Stay tuned to see if we actually get this project going.

Mom Camp goes Science!

Changing her spots

Maggie discovered some loose fabric on her headrest and started pulling. In a matter of moments the thing was in tatters. Big brother Tim decided to fix it up. My friend Kathleen sent some wild duct tape the last time we had to cobble her chair back together and it was just the ticket for this problem.

She's a bit peaked today, but even with that, she looks a little tougher, don't you think?

Milestones A-Mundo

Wow. Another busy weekend. These graduations and birthdays have us hopping. This weekend we went to another nephew's graduation (I have a total of four graduating nephews this year, Two from high school and two from college.) In addition we had a birthday party for my mom.

Saturday's graduate was Jack, my sister Joni's son up in Petaluma. Joni's house is flat and it's the one house in my family that is easy for Maggie's wheelchair. She hardly gets to go to anything, because it's too far away, or too long or not accessible or something; but this one would work. It is about a 45 minute drive, but Steve drove and I sat in the back with Maggie. Since we had my mom and Tim with us, it was easy. We arrived and got Maggie into the house and went straight through to the back. They have an enormous back yard and the party was out there. The day before the party by brother in law put the finishing touches on the new deck, which looked great. Unfortunately, he decided to drop it down about a foot and now there was a two step drop outside. BUMMER. Maggie stayed inside for a bit and then we lifted her down to the deck. It was not difficult and this house is still the easiest of all of my siblings, but the ease of movement was gone.
Oh well, the party was great.

Joni had SOOOOO much food that she gave me a Caeser Salad to take home. I don't mean just a salad for dinner, I'm talking about a GIANT salad - she had two of them plus a ton of other food. I was hosting a brunch on Sunday and I could put that Caeser to good use. To give you an idea of the size of the thing, Steve and Tim and I had only salad for dinner on Saturday, I fed it to 16 people for brunch, four of us had it for dinner on Sunday and there's still a full sized bowl full left. It was delicious.

The brunch was in honor of my mother's birthday. It's a big one, but I won't publish her age here. Believe me when I tell you she doesn't look or act it; but it needed celebrating. My brother came up form LA with his wife, three of my sisters and their husbands and 6 of the 20 grandchildren came here for brunch. In a birthday miracle, the fog cleared long enough to enjoy the back deck for a while. It was a whirlwind fiesta but there was a lot of laughing, and loud talking. Maggie sort of checked out and just snoozed in the living room.

Pictures - above, the birthday girl is blowing out the candle on the LIME cheesecake that my sister Kate made from the gazillion limes in her garden. Oh MY, that was good. Below is me and Steve, my sister in law Dianne and the birthday girl. It was a fun afternoon.

Once everyone was gone, Steve took off on his bike for a few hours. Tim and Maggie and I kind of  lazed around and recovered. I am still in a bit of recovery mode, but today, Mom camp resumes. It is up to me to make sure Miss Maggie is entertained.  It's a drippy day out there, so we may have to do something indoorsy. Maggie is fine with that as long as the focus stays on her.  No more of this honoring others nonsense for her. It's back to Maggie as the Center of the Universe.

All is right with the world.